vent book

weight.

i've spent 6+ years out of 19 my years alive weighing 120 lbs. i got on birth control and gained 20 pounds after a year, and another 20 after the summer, so now i'm 160. i was actually happy with myself for managing to gain weight, because all of my life it had been physically impossible for me to go over 120 lbs because of a trait i got from my dad where i get sick and lost everything i gained. but that changed when i got on BC, and the weight stuck.

i was actually a little bit happy because all of my life people kept calling me "too small" or just small in general to where it sounded like an insult. so when i started gradually gaining weight i thought people would leave me alone, but now all i'm hearing is that i'm getting fat and that i am fat. what the FUCK do these people want from me? One minute I was too skinny, and next I'm too fat? I'm so fucking tired of being here. So..I don't know what to do. I'm tired.