Change - James F. Potter

Chapter 19: A Mirage of Thought

There are a lot of POV changes in this chapter. Sorry if it gets confusing! This is also the last chapter that I have written and I will not have time to write for who knows how long (no longer than 2 weeks I would imagine) so goodbye until then!

Sirius's POV:

When my sister arrived in the great hall, her hair was damp and the bags under her eyes suggested she had not gotten a lot of sleep last night. My heart hurt for her. She endured so much of the pain that was meant for me. She gave so much and wouldn't let me give anything in return. She gave me more love than the rest of my family combined, Regulus included. And even though she gave so much, fate had rewarded her with pain and suffering. All I wanted was to see her happy. Maybe Hogwarts could give her what I couldn't.

Not far behind her stood the missing boy himself. Remus did not look much better than Cassie. Although his face bared a content smile. The slight upcurve of his lips made me blush and look away. It was not often I was given the pleasure of seeing people smile and his was nearly more than I could bear.

I looked down at my plate as a way to distract myself. It contained a half-eaten sausage and two pieces of toast. Last night I had been awoken by a nightmare. Flashes of arms flailing and doors slammed was enough to take away my appetite.

James and I had chosen seats toward the back of the Great Hall. It was far enough away for us not to be the center of attention but also noticeable enough for students to comment on the stunt we had pulled at the library. Overall it had been fun. People had not looked at me like a fly on the wall, but rather gazed at me with admiration. It filled me with a feeling I so rarely felt. Joy and acceptance. For once I was not overlooked and belittled. I felt alive.

James's POV:

I shoveled food into my mouth as if it was my last meal. The food at Hogwarts was not quite as good as the food my mother made, but it was still delectable.

My thoughts wandered to the night before as I ate. When we had gotten back to the dorms, Sirius had been quick to barricade himself in the bathroom. Had he been trying to hide something from me? I had never really had friends my age and it scared me to think I had done something wrong so early on. What if I had ruined it again.

There had been one summer where I tried to make friends with a young girl who was vacationing close to our house. She was named after a flower, although now that I thought about it, I could not remember which one. The girl had been one of my first friends. She was charming and sweet, unlike anyone I had ever met. Granted I had not met a ton of people, she had been one of the best. Her spirit was one so full of stubbornness that it would have taken an army of Aurors to move.

A smile escaped my lips as I thought back to that summer. I had not thought of it in so long that the memories were already growing dim. Her smile was one I would always remember even if I could not recall her face.

Lily Evans emerged from the corridors and took a seat next to Cassie. For a spark of a second, there was a familiarity in the way she smiled. One that reminded me of the girl. I quickly shook off the thought and went back to eating my breakfast.

Remus's POV:

Chocolate chip cookies.

The burnt pastry was not the only thing on my mind, but it was the girl who had brought them that occupied the other part. Had she somehow known what I was? What I had been mere hours before her visit? There was no way she could have known. She was too kind to me. If she had known she would not have bothered talking to me in the first place.

I believe her name was Cassie.

'Ah yes. Cassie. She was Sirius's sister'. Sirius sat across the table from me and had been staring down at his food as if it would eat him instead of the other way around. His endless glare at his food suggested that he was not in the mood to talk.