The Enchantress | COMPLETE | AbhiGya Fiction

13. The Casket Girls: Part 2

Alia:

I was looking at Purab, as he sat on the couch next to the bed, doing something on his tab. My life was nothing short of a tornado ever since he set foot in our household, two days back. He finally turned up in the morning when I had revealed about Prags's scandalous affair with Anu and therefore Abhi's wedding got called off, the whole day went in confrontations, accusations and in a blur; I was just settling down, and had thought it was best to deal with our relationship the next day, when the news of Prags's mother's demise came to us early in the morning; again another day went in a blur. That day was perfect, it seemed like the storm outside had died down, it was time to address the storm within.

"Purab, we need to talk" I told him quietly, as I walked up to him and sat beside him on the couch. He looked at me unperturbed as he raised his eyebrows in question, and kept aside his tab to focus on me. I gulped unnecessarily; for the life of me, I didn't know how to begin. I found myself missing Prags, I wish I could have discussed this with her, words were here thing, not mine.

"Alia, you know you can talk to me, right?" he spoke gently, encouraging me.

"Can I Purab? Off late I feel..I don't know. I feel like..." I couldn't continue, the treacherous tears were out already and I was choking on my own words.

"What do you feel Alia?" he asked, holding my hand gently.

"That I am not a part of your life anymore Purab. We barely talk, and when we do, you hardly ask me anything, you answer in monosyllables, half the time I have no idea about your whereabouts, and you ignore me like the plague." I blabbered without any coherent train of thought. I was here to tell him I understood why he doesn't want to be with me, and I was supposed to set him free, but here I was complaining to him and begging him for some time. I hated myself at that moment, for my disorganized thoughts and treacherous tears and mouth.

Purab was quiet for some time, as he looked deeply into my eyes, he was deep in his thoughts, I could tell. After a while, he spoke to me, "Why do you think it has come to this Alia?" he was calm and nurturing in his voice. I shook my head, as guilt consumed me. I didn't know if the reason was fair or not, but it was legitimate.

"Because of the baby thing, Purab; I have tried so hard, I still am on medication. The doctors are saying, my window of fertility is near close too, but I haven't given up hope, not yet" I replied desperately trying to sound positive by smiling. I looked at him and he looked at me with pitiful eyes; it stung. It wasn't my fault that I couldn't conceive, it wasn't fair that I am put to trial for it, but here I was trying to save our marriage and there he was looking at me pitifully. I looked away in disappointment.

"Stop trying, Alia." he mumbled, gripping my hand tighter; by now I had retracted already, I was right in thinking of setting him free, I mentally chided myself for even trying one more time, I just had to let him go; it wouldn't change much, considering even without the divorce it wasn't like we were together.

"You are right Purab; you are right. That's what I wanted to discuss anyway, before I got emotional and digressed" I said calmly now, wiping my tears with the back of my palm.

"You are planning to stop trying?" he asked with a glint of hope in his eyes, it broke me, but I had decided, I wouldn't shed another drop of tear before him.

I nodded in affirmation as I spoke, "Purab, I have always known how important it was for you to father a child, and I am sorry I couldn't fulfil that wish of yours. I tried whatever way possible, but I failed, and every time I failed, a little bit of me died inside me. I cannot do this to myself anymore Purab, not even for you. Therefore, I have decided to stop trying; I have decided to accept it now that I cannot ever mother a child; but that shouldn't be your fate. You are not wrong in wanting a child Purab, it is not a crime to want one, and I will not punish you by denying; that's why I have decided to set you free; I have..." but I couldn't continue further as my voice choked with tears again, and a sudden heaviness clenched my heart, I felt like I was dying, but I didn't make a sound. I quietly looked at Purab to see him looking at me with a frown, he seemed too frozen to talk for a while, and after about a few minutes of his dazed silence and my eternal fight to not give in to the tears, he spoke.