The city of love (kelena fan fiction)

Chapter 9: home

Elena sat with her back to the stone. The smooth stone was cold, almost freezing. Yet, it didn't seem to bother her. She tried to imagine Katherine there, sitting behind her. Feeling her warm breath on her neck again never seemed to leave her mind.

She missed her, and everything was wrong. Katherine was dead, and all she had left of the vampire was her tombstone. A cold, plain, impersonal slab of stone was the only thing connecting the girl to her love. It wasn't enough. It would never be enough, and yet Elena would be forced to live with the piece of stone anyway.

Her journal sat in her lap, untouched. With every attempt of writing in the diary came a new stream of tears. They burned her eyes and blurred her vision, and they brought great pain. Elena's own thoughts betrayed her, for they always seemed to go back to Katherine. Only days had gone by since her death, and so soon she wanted to see her again.

Several red petals from the rose she had placed at Katherine's funeral had fallen onto the ground. It was beautiful, just as she intended it to be. The only ones who had attended Katherine's funeral were Caroline, Damon, and herself. Katherine deserved more, but all the other people she knew hated the vampire, yet another thing she would have to live with.

Everyday she was reminded of the vampire's death. The littlest moments and the littlest items brought back Katherine's memory. Waking in the morning alone without her arms around her, it was a pain she never thought she'd feel. Katherine had survived for five hundred years without Klaus finding her, and somehow Elena believed that her death was her fault.

Mystic Falls was a place of sadness and death. Elena had known this for a long time. She'd never truly thought of it before, but as she sat in the cold graveyard the girl thought about it more and more. Love always betrayed her, and solace would not give her the slightest of kind embraces. She was alone, awfully and horribly alone.

The naivety she once had was gone. Her remaining possession became the truth. At first she believed truth to be her savior, her salvation, and her friend. Now all she could find from the truth was devastation.

A sigh escaped her lips as the girl looked down to the empty paper of her diary. She found herself lifting the pencil gently into her hand, and surprisingly no tears came. Elena couldn't shed anymore, for they were all gone. She had cried too much, and she wouldn't do anymore of it. Things were going to change, and for once they were going to change for the better.

Dear Diary, She's gone. Katherine is gone. As much as I thought I hated her it wasn't true. Damon and Caroline have been so good to me, better than I deserve. Whatever they try to do, no matter how much they try to make me happy, it just doesn't work. I've tried to let them help me, to be happy again, but I can't. I wish I could close my eyes and go to sleep, and when I'd wake up Katherine would be there, chiding me for sleeping too late. It won't happen. Why won't it happen? Why did she leave me? How could she do this? Didn't she know what it would do to me to leave me alone? Why didn't we ever talk about this? I want to tell her so much. She deserves to be alive, no matter what she's done in the past. Katherine should still be here with me. Doesn't she know how much I need her? Stefan tried to comfort me. He tried to tell me how sorry he was for nearly killing me, and how much he wished it had never happened. I didn't believe him, and I still don't. There is nothing good in him anymore. Whatever I saw in him at first is gone, he's not the man I met. Damon tried to get him to stop, but Stefan just kept going, he said he wished I never fell in love with Katherine. As soon as he said that I wanted him to die, and it scared me. I didn't want him to talk about Katherine that way. He didn't deserve to talk about her that way, but before I could say anything, he revealed something important. He'd told Klaus where Katherine and I were. The more he said the angrier I got. Katherine's death was his fault, and he wished I'd never fallen in love with her? The only thing I was able to do was stand in shock and hate him. I ran at him; screaming at him and telling him how much I hated him. Damon was the only thing that stopped me from tackling him. I would've killed him if I had a stake, but I didn't, and Damon stopped me. I think he was right to stop me. What would I think of myself if I killed him? Would I hate myself more than I do now? I need her back. I need Katherine here with me, but she can't be. Stefan made sure of that. I don't know what to think anymore. I want to leave Mystic Falls, but I can't leave her behind. She's here. I won't leave her again, and I won't let her leave me. What am I supposed to do? I don't know what I'm supposed to do anymore. I want to see her again, that much I know, but how can I do that. I can't ask Bonnie for that. She wouldn't understand. Sometimes I wonder what it would be like if Katherine was still here, but I stop. I can't handle thinking about the fact that she's gone. I wish she was still here, but I can't keep wishing. I have to act on it, and I will. I love you, Katherine, and we'll be together again.