MINE FOR INFINITY

I Must Hold On

(Evie's POV)

So that's it. That's it. It's all over, if there ever even was anything. Ben is proposing to Mal tomorrow. Why did he have to tell me beforehand? If he hadn't, my pillow would be dry from streaming tears right now. I wouldn't be beating the heck out of my brain. And my heart would be ache-free too, probably. Although, it's true it must be notably easier to process the sudden information with time the night before, rather than in the minute it happens. And also as I'm a significant part of his plan, being the one who will distract Mal all morning while the others are preparing the proposal, I guess it was necessary for him to get me on board of the coming events. It still doesn't feel nice though. Not at all.

It was this afternoon that Ben pulled me aside after a class, and recapped me his grandiose plan. He wants to propose tomorrow, Saturday, at noon, the brightest hour of the day, in front of Auradon Prep and in the presence of the whole school, naturally. He'll try to make it seem like a casual Auradon-feast at first, but I'm sure Mal will pretty quickly get a hang of something else going on. Then Ben is going to sing a bit of that ridiculous lovesong he once, under the control of a much-too-affective lovepotion, made up for Mal, and wants the people to blow bubbles at them when my best friend will happily agree to marry him. Which Ben is sure she will. I acted excited for him after he finished off, but really, for the rest of the afternoon, I was an absolute mess inside. And the thing is, I wasn't sure why. I wasn't sure why I felt so broke, so defensive after hearing of the proposal. Not until these long night-hours of thinking in my bed.

This isn't a good reason to hate Ben, is it? A good reason to dream of his sudden disappearance, that would fully disconnect him from the rest of the world, make him not be able to ever return? No, he's acting out of his love, his pureness. Still I can't help but to hate him. Is their love even real? I mean, it started off of that potion, and that's questionable at best. And I know Mal has never wanted to be a lady of the court, let alone a queen, so why would she want to marry the king of Auradon? Would she like to marry him? Does anything I pretend to know matter at all? Am I just wrong about everything, thinking I know my best friend so well? Well, I was at least wrong about one thing that's for sure: my and Mal's cuddles and constant 'I love you's never meant anything more. And how could they have, anyway? We are best friends. I wouldn't want something different happening between us. Just I'm not sure of even that anymore.

Whatever, it's like this now, I just need to accept it. It's too late. Ben is deeply in love with my purple dragon, and there's little I could say to change his mind about proposing. I can sob all I want, but tomorrow at noon there will be a ring slipping into Mal's finger, that will guarantee my life changing for forever. Mal is going to be Ben's. Ben's. No longer mine. I just need to accept it. But why am I being this dramatic anyway? All I want is for Mal to be happy. And if it is Ben that makes her the happiest, then be it. As long as my Mal is happy, I am too. . .right?

The thought of me no longer having any importance in my best friend's life sets me off again. I cry hard with my face buried deep into the pillow, like it's going to make any difference. I feel like a complete wretch constantly losing myself, but really, I can't help it. Mal is so important to me. I love her so much. And now she's slipping away from me.

(Mal's POV)

I woke up a while ago to Evie silently sobbing in her bed. I considered going over to comfort her, but stayed where I am. The matter's got to be something she wants to process on her own, otherwise she would've brought it up to me earlier and wouldn't have to secretly cry over it when I am asleep. But I can hear her poor sobs getting more intense, and just have to get up. It's almost like a reflex now. Evie is facing away from me, so I gently sit on the edge of her bed and start rubbing her back. I know it relaxes her up. Evie winces a little at me suddenly being there, but eventually turns around to meet my eyes. Hers, I notice in what little light slips through the curtains, are all puffy and teary, just like her face too. Oh no, no, no, Evie has been crying for hours. I should have come over the second I heard her sob! She has had time to process this all night, and has failed miserably. Now my Evie needs comfort. She needs me.

Evie scoots over so that I can lay down next to her, and then completely breaks down in my arms. "Hey, it's all right Eves, it's all right. I'm right here, okay? I'll stay with you," I whisper in a calm tone and wrap my arms around my best friend. She is shaking like crazy and her pillow's all wet from broken tears that are now streaming onto my chest. I hug her thight, I want her to know that I'm by her side, ready to take in anything in the world if it just helps her get better. As I always am. As she always is for me. This is how it works with Evie and I. We are always there for one another, she relys heavily on me just as I do on her. We are like sisters, more even if possible, and have seen each other at our best and worst. And no matter our mood, or the timing, or the people around, we stick together. We couldn't do life any other way. So it's always the most horrible thing to see my best friend like this, for Evie is the one that means the most to me.

Evie seems to be calming down, at least she's not shaking as much as she was. Her gaze finds mine and one look into Evie's deep brown eyes tells me that she doesn't want to talk about whatever's one her mind. And I allow her privacy, of course. "Mal?" she sobs, looking so helpless I can't help but tear up a little. "Yes, E?" I say and start stroking her long blue hair. "Mal, y-you mean t-too much to me! P-please don't let me l-lose you!" Evie moans with fresh tears running down her cheeks. "Evie, why would you ever lose me?" I say, surprised, but trying to keep a reassuring tone. "You know that's the last thing I would ever let happen." Why is Evie suddenly thinking about losing me? Everything has been normal around us, we do almost everything together and I sleep with her at least every other night. Why is she now suddenly worrying? "It is?" she asks with a shaky voice, sounding so much like a desparate four-year-old. "It is, Evie. Has always been. Now shh. . .shh, let's go to sleep," I tell her. Evie grabs my hand thight to signal me I have to stay, even if I made no gesture of leaving, and snuggles into my arms. I pull the cover over both of us, and in less than a minute, my blue-hair's off to another world deep in her dreams.

Evie really is upset about something. I don't want to pursuade her into telling me, but it's no good her keeping it inside of herself either. She'll probably bring it up later on, because Evie if someone is not good at hiding her emotions. I know immediately how she's feeling by her expression. But what would happen if I wasn't right here next to Evie, stroking her hair and humming her to sleep? Who would Evie turn to with her worries? Who would I turn to, if there was no Evie, my rock, my home? Is it possible there's going to be times when I actually can't be here? Do Evie's worries have any mind? Might there be a day where we'll no longer have each other? No, I think sternly. There will never be a day like that. I have to hold on to Evie, nomatter what. Otherwise my life wouldn't make any sense. I squeeze the girl in my hands tighter, as to make sure she can never slip away, before I trail off to sleep as well. No, there's nothing for Evie to worry about. Nothing can take me away from her.

(1512 words)