Two Wrongs Don't Make A Right (but half a dozen may) || Kubokai

Interlude: Project V.A.L.E.N.T.I.N.E

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REQUEST

TO: SAIKI KUSUO, THE JET BLACK WINGS' TRUSTED MAN

Be warned, those who want to intercept this message. This card is laced with venom that will make anyone that isn't Saiki Kusuo's head explode and put a curse on their bloodline for three generations if they touch it for a second, or even think about opening it. Think twice before interfering with the Jet Black Wings' affairs.

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Saiki looked up from the black letter to his mom, who had picked up the letter from the door and still had her head intact. What a shitty venom.

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Saiki, I, the Jet Black Wings, need your aid in a top secret operation. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to come to the direction written in invisible ink at the bottom on Sunday at four pm (or at whatever hour, but call me first so that I can coordinate with my allies), and lend me your expertise in chocolates and other sweets to create the ultimate chocolatey confection for the mortal holiday known as 'St. Valentine Day'. Details are ultra top secret, don't ask.

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The invisible ink wasn't so much invisible as just not there. Using psychometry, Saiki could see that Kaidou had, somehow, not realized his 'Spies: International Top Secret' themed pen had dried years ago. Was there anything not defective in that letter?

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I know this mission is short notice, a (very rare) oversight on my part. For that, I'll provide with refreshments out of our own organization's gold arks, that I believe will serve as appropriate compensation.

Please confirm your availability soon so I may organize the necessary arrangements.

Yours truly, and godspeed,

-.- . .. -.. ..-

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Saiki stared for a moment at the atrocity against morse with which Kaidou attempted to sign his message, and set the letter on fire.

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"Saiki! I am here to negotiate the terms of your mission!" Saiki looked at Kaidou and his nervous expression with his most judgmental eyes. For flavor, he added a dash of 'how dare you bring me out of my house on a Sunday morning', and just a hint of 'I know about your dumb crush and it's your thing to deal with, not mine'. Kaidou wilted a little, but, to his credit, didn't turn tail and run in the other direction, but held up a bag full to bursting with coffee jellies. "Freshly bought from the new store! It'll only be for an hour or two! No one else but you can do this! Please accept this mission!"

For starters, he could stop calling it a 'mission' instead of 'dumb, lazy, and fake-humble knockoff of chapter 97 volume 10 of the manga, that you absolutely should go read if you haven't yet'. But the coffee jelly was tempting. And it was Valentine's Day. Knowing his luck, Teruhashi or Aiura would soon come knocking on his door with one excuse or other. That, or his whole nuisance (not friend, absolutely not friend) group would appear and ruin his Sunday. Two hours of his time was a small price to pay. Should he consider the offer?