I need to cut..to punish myself..or to compensate for the luck im getting,i cant keep up anymore..i just wanna die..ive been happy for so long and now its all crashing down,hes the best i could ever have had obvi but somethimes u gotta let it out..
You gotta accept that..im a dissapointment to my whole family..im the least favorite..
Even my dad prefers my brother while my brother left him for 2 years..ill always be the second one..ill always be the less good...the rotten potato..ill always be the dumb one
I just wanto to
Need to do it so bad
I need to feel that blade against my wrists im aching for it
Im tempted to just scratch to get this ache away but scratching burns and hurts ,cutting doesnt...
I wish i wasnt..me..
I wish i wasnt an ugly dumb cow..and sadly i cant change it..all i can do is cut..
And i really thought he cured my depression..i havent cut in almost 2 months..i havent had this highscore since a year or two..sadly tonight ill break it,its 00:58 for me rn,but with tonight i meant tomorrow night, before i post this chapter bc he can see this
And i love him so much..hes honestly the sweetest and the first to ever help so much..i couldnt have done it without him..
Im so lucky to have him but luck needs offering to avoid bad things..offering like cutting..blood..
YOU ARE READING
my diary
RandomWarning,this may containt triggering stuff,idk I just write how i feel,dont take this personally Its my way to get it out without bothering someone..somethimes idk who to talk to..so i come here..
