snippets
"Alright! Time to get some of that sweet, sweet water, my childr—"
IT WAS A fine Saturday when Priam was greeted with a blast of an explosion the moment he opened his bedroom's window, with a watering can on hand, about to water the succulents he perched on the windowsill. Really, he hasn't even said anything that warrants an explosion to his face, what the fuck.
Angered yells bellow soon followed:
"Antigone Duke!!!"
"What the hell?! Montgomery?!"
Ah. There goes his peaceful day. Gone.
Priam coughs up dust and squints at the two figures causing ruckus down the street. He vaguely registers the mop of silver hair that terribly matches Briar Montgomery's and a man who has pitch-black hair and golden eyes. He recalls the man hanging out with Emmett and Sibyl during the weekends when Priam occasionally passes by the karaoke bar three blocks down, which means there's a possibility that he's a god.
Damn gods and time travelers and their penchant for destruction.
"You motherfucker!!! What are you doing here?!" he hears Montgomery rage screaming once again.
"Walking to my apartment to get some sleep, you psycho!" spat the pitch-black-haired man.
Montgomery throws something that explodes in a colorful rainbow mist, which was quickly swept away when the man with pitch-black hair honest to god whips out a huge golden steel fan, fanning like mad as if his life depended on it. Priam just stares at the ongoing brawl he is currently witnessing, wondering what he'd done in his past life to deserve this bullshit at four in the morning.
Dear Gehenna, what has this neighborhood come to.
Irritated at the noise and interruption from watering his succulents, Priam puts down his watering can gently, then pulls out a sniper rifle beneath his bed. He points it out the window towards the two imbeciles duking it out on the street at fuckass o'clock in the morning and pulls the trigger with no hesitation twice. Through the dust and his half-asleep state, he barely registers two writhing bodies snagged by a large metal net, stuck on the road.
"YOU TWO SHUT THE FUCK UP! SOME PEOPLE ARE TRY'NA SLEEP!" he bellows as he perched a foot on the windowsill. Realizing that the two are staring at him wide-eyed in fear, he continues, "IF YOU TWO FUCKERS WANT TO DUKE IT OUT, GO TO THE SANCTIONED CITY BATTLEGROUND AFTER ASKING FOR GOVERNMENT PERMIT! GODDAMNED FUCKERS."
Silence.
Then it was Montgomery who first laughs with a choked wheeze, "He said Duke it out! Hahaha! Brilliant pun!"
Beside him, the man with pitch-black hair also bursts out laughing like they weren't after each other's heads a few moments ago. "Oh my fucking god! You're right!"
And then the street was replaced with howls of laughter instead of rage.
Priam inhales.
Fuck.
He's too tired for this.
Priam shoots them again with a tranquilizer for good measure and shuts his bedroom window close to block out their dying laughter. He debates calling the police but then he hears the blaring sirens fast approaching, he settles for climbing back on his bed.
YOU ARE READING
Priam and His Customers
HumorPriam owns a book cafè and his customers aren't really the usual ones you'd expect. Sometimes there's bloodshed, sometimes there's a rift in space and time, sometimes he can't understand the orders spoken in ancient tongue. But he always, always se...
