the wind's hymn | paused

Chapter 10

i'msorryi'msorryi'msosorryididn'tmeantojulien--

Alec startles awake, eyes snapping open and kicks away the covers pooling around his legs onto the floor with a deep, shaky breath. Something wet and cold falls from his head as his hands snap up to his sweaty neck, blinking and shaking his head when he sits up with a groan.

He's alive. He's alive. Breathing. With a neck that's not partially broken. With no gaping hole in his abdomen and blood boiling, skin melting into welts and hotHOTHOT THE WATER BURNS--

"--Alec!"

IT HURTS SO MUCH JULIEN--

"ALEC!"

IDON'TWANTTODIEJULIENILOVEYOUJULIENYOU'REMYBROTHERJULIEN--

You're alive, you're alright, you're safe Alexandre.

He's alive, he's alright, he's safe.

He's not dead, he's not not alright, he's not unsafe.

He's Alexandre Mercier.

And Alexandre Mercier is a survivor.

—•—

"Are you sure he's alright now?" Haru says to Reborn in a wispy voice, blinking her wet brown eyes to watch the rise and fall of Alec's chest. "Shouldn't someone stay to watch him just in case?"

"He's an idiot." Reborn states, eyes betraying the emotions absent in his voice as he stands perched on Tsuna's shoulder, overlooking the blond.

"Was Julien... his family?" Tsuna can't move his eyes from Alec as he asks the question. Was he his brother? Was he who Alec tried so hard to protect? went unsaid, kept behind his pursed lips as his pulse raced in his ears and heart thundered away just beneath his ribs.

Did he move to Namimori because Tokyo wouldn't let him grieve properly? Was he hiding it all behind his smile like Yamamoto? Except they didn't seem fake. They seemed... like he was trying and something caught him. Tree roots winding out the earth, hidden under dead leaves, and he didn't stumble. Alec tripped, tangled.

Or was it something more than tree roots? Did they have thorns? Was he stuck? Was he in a forest full of them or a field with few?

"Yes," Reborn answers softly, lowering his fedora to hide his dark expression. "Alec adored him his whole life."

The silence in the room becomes stifling as it grows heavier. Tsuna almost can't breathe.

"How do we--" he croaks, incredibly tense and alert for a reason he doesn't know, "--how do we help Mercier-kun?"

"Be there for him even in moments he believes you shouldn't." The hitman says, his tone hinting to Tsuna he's experienced Alec believing it before.

The brunet doesn't know what to think about it.

"He's the biggest idiot anyone will ever meet," Reborn adds, looking away from Alec to the open window as Wind blows in, cooling the room. "Not in the sense he has no brain. He's an idiot in general and you all already know why."

"He blames himself," Gokudera utters. Yamamoto shares the same fleeting expression Tsuna's never seen on them.

Like they know.

What does that mean?

Alec's drowning?
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