the wind's hymn | paused

Chapter 18

"Ugh, what am I doing?" Alec mumbles into his pillow, Wind splaying his hair across his face as he pulls the cover up to his chin.

Feeling sick again?

"That too, but--" he considers his next words, sapphire eyes darkening. "--am I too invested for someone who's probably gonna die in like, ten years? I mean, I'm just protecting them from the mafia while they get strong enough to get away from the mafia." Alec blinks harshly, tears forming in the corner of his eyes and chest constricting slightly. "Then there's their family, their classmates, Tomaso, the staff, just... they're fucking fourteen. Fourteen years old. They shouldn't be... they shouldn't be worrying about the mafia, assassins and bloodshed. They should be... they should be worrying about fourteen-year old shit, like, like--Gods--like crushes, games, friends, procrastination or studying, playing. Not... not this shit."

That's why you're trying. Because you care.

Alec swallows thickly, inhaling sharply though his nose, breath stuttering as tears cling to his lashes.

"Fucking hell. Why didn't I just kill that expired tomato? Everyone besides him and Iemitsu's famiglia don't even know Iemitsu's fucking married let alone has a son. I've ruined everything like the shitty old man I am."

No, Wind coils around Alec, carding through his hair as he chokes on his tears. No, never. Never say that again. You've ruined nothing.

"B-but--"

It's their fault. Wind wipes the tears rolling down his cheekbones and over the bridge of his nose. You have survived many wars, many deaths and much pain. As Aleron and Alexandre, as a soldier.

"Still!--"

When you love with a love that is the most fiercest and deepest love this world as has ever seen, it is not your fault that when they burn your beloveds, they burn too. For you have already had your beloveds burned by war and death.

"This is like the most you've ever spoken at once," Alec hiccups, sniffing. "You really know how to make me cry."

I love you.

"I love you too, dammit," he rubs his eyes. "Where else am I supposed to get an amazing partner like you?"

From you.

"I know you came from me, don't spoil the moment!" Alec mumbles, shifting in his bed. "What time is it? Isn't the Athletic fest tomorrow?"

Three AM.

"Shit, you talk too much."

Wind swats Alec's cheek.

"I'm joking, I'm joking!" He cries out, "You can never talk too much!"
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[[GUYS LOOK NEW COVER!! It's so amazing I utterly adore it 🥰💞 sorry for the short & late update. Got another cold (it sucks) and I'm still sleeping through it. The cover's by @xxsoteria I cannot thank her enough.]]