Finding Greyson (Lightening Series Book Two)

Chapter Seven

I felt the soft white bed covers beneath me as the bed engulfed my figure. My bedroom was plagued by darkness and although I would normally complain, wanting to see every inch of the man in front of me who I knew was about to blow my mind to a whole new extent, I was glad.

My body was changing and I hadn't been intimate with anyone let alone Grey in the past two months.

My breasts were heavier and fuller with my impending pregnancy, my hips seemed more wider and the small outlines of a bump towards my lower stomach where my little jellybean was growing was evident. This was all still new but now that I did know, I couldn't help but feel slightly self conscious.

My body didn't look like how it did two months ago. It didn't look like Ari's. I felt like a cold bucket of water had been splashed in my face, what the hell was I doing?

I found myself in the same situation I did months ago. The first time I had seen Grey in years and I had told myself that I wasn't going to rush into his arms but that's exactly what I did. Look how that ended up. He shattered my trust just as much as he shattered my heart to gain revenge for his own selfish and childish reasons.

I love him. I definitely knew that. However, I don't have the luxury of acting like a teenager who's head over heels in love anymore. I wanted all of Grey but he only shared what he wanted me to know and that's something that has never changed. All of his secrets are kept hidden and locked away within a vault in his mind and he doesn't share them with me.

It caused doubt to flare in my stomach and therein lies the problem. If we're not screaming at each other, we're having sex together and none of that provides time for conversation or answers to our problems. It was the very reason why we move one step forward and ten steps back each round.

Only this time I needed it to be different because it had to be. We had almost seven months to sort all of this out and there was a lot to be discussed. We can't just pretend like nothing had changed and wing having a child, I wouldn't allow it or stand for it.

I looked at Grey then, he stood at the bottom of the bed like he was savouring this moment, his eyes captivated by mine. At least the moonlight and ambiance from the city lights shining through the window allowed me to see that. God, I wanted him. Maybe we could work on our problems after we had sex but then I couldn't help but think I was evading.

He hurt me and I was giving myself over to him with no effort. Was he playing me again? Knowing that he had the power to have me beneath him at his beck and call because I was borderline obsessed? The thought made me ill.

"Emily?" His voice pulled me from my thoughts and when I looked to find him, he was no longer standing over me.

He was laying beside me on the bed. His promise of assaults on my body had long left his eyes and instead concern shined through and I hated myself for that.

I wanted to give myself to him more than anything but I wasn't ready. I couldn't allow this not to work. I love him too much it and if either of us fucked this up again, there wouldn't be a third chance. Our baby secured that notion.

"Why is it you can read me so well but I could never do the same with you?" I whispered out into the darkness, turning onto my side so I could see him.

"What's wrong?" He asked but I didn't for a second notice how he diverted my question.

"Everything it seems." I sighed and turned so I was laying on my back again, staring at the ceiling and begging for it to swallow me whole.

"Do you want me to leave?" His whisper sounded almost painful but I wasn't sure if unloading all of this worry and doubt onto him would help us go in the right direction.