Unhinged

Well this is awkward

"Where are we?" I asked my brother as he drove down a road. It was barley big enough for two cars to pass each other.

"In Russia."

"Well I gathered that much."

"So why were you asking?"

"B*tch, do you know how big Russia is?"

"Of course, now be quiet and eat your Cheetos."

"Hmph." 

I shoved Cheetos in my mouth, crossing my arms and chewing angrily.

Alex broke the uncomfortable silence. "Are they still your favorite?"

"Of course, they're cheese and carbs."

Another stretch of awkward silence. I watched Barney™ run beside the car, his purple tail thumping along the ground and little arms waving. He looked a lot creepier from what I remember seeing when I was little.

When was the last time I took my meds?

"Are you mad at me?"

"Oh wow, would you look at that, he finally picked up on the atmosphere."

"I'm just trying to make up for the years we lost! Besides you wanted to come."

"There wasn't much of a choice."

The car took a sharp left off the road, turning down a long driveway. I squinted, trying to make out the house obscured by trees.

He looked over, probably seeing my anxious face. "Don't worry, I'm not taking you here to kill you and bury your body in the woods. I haven't forgotten about freshman year though."

I groaned. "Dude, that was like seven years ago."

"Six."

"Whatever."

We pulled up in front of a gleaming mansion, seemingly out of place in the dark surroundings. I whistled, eating the last of my Cheetos, and stepped out of the car. "Looks like you're doing pretty good for yourself."

"The job pays well. If it didn't, no one would do it."

"That's what a stripper told me once. I highly disagree."

He snorted, walking up the steps to the front door. "I'll show you to your room and let you get settled in. Dinner is at seven, we're having—"

"ALEX!" I heard a girl shriek. "WHO IS SHE?"

I stuck my head around the door frame to see a tall blonde girl wearing a tight crop top and mini skirt.

"I like your skirt, where'd you get it?" I asked, because honestly it was really cute. I think she was waiting for me to say 'Goodwill?' because there was an awkward beat of silence.

"Don't mind her," my brother whispered to me. He's a terrible whisperer. "She's just one of the whores we keep around."

I glared at him, appalled. "ALEXANDER EMERSON ROBINSON, TELL ME YOU DID NOT JUST SAY THAT! I thought I raised you better, young man!"

I grabbed his ear, which was hard because of the height difference, dragging him behind me. The girl was standing there, open-mouthed.

"You go girl, get that D." I said, as Alex whimpered from my death grip. "We'll be right back."

When I had gotten him far enough away that she probably wouldn't hear my yelling, I turned on him.

"Listen, Eva, I'm sorry it just kind of slipped out—"