To Drown In Icy Depths

The stable boy

"Caelum!" I call to the tall strong stable boy tending to my beloved white horse Kallistê.

He turns to face me, his blonde hair swaying slightly. Caelum is so fair he could be fae, although he insists he isn't.

"Edie!" He exclaims happily, flashing me a crooked smile.

I can't help but return this smile as he comes over to me and pulls me into an embrace. My breath hitches in my throat as he sweeps me off my feet and twirls me around. This is all very unladylike behaviour, and if we're caught there'll be trouble. I can't be seen laughing gaily with a boy my age the very day after my sister's death. This thought steals my laughter from my mouth as Caelum puts me back down.

"What is it?" he asks.

"Nothing," I reply, knowing that he can tell what's wrong. He can read me like a book.

"Eveleen?" he asks tentatively as we start down our favourite path of the House's grounds. I nod, fiddling with the soft material of my mourning gown.

"I really thought she would live." I confide after a short but heavy silence. "I really hoped she would live," I correct myself.

"Didn't everybody?" Caelum replies. I nod again.

"And now I'm next," I say, perhaps to Caelum, or perhaps to myself. Or perhaps to no one at all.

"And now you're next," he confirms. We lapse into silence again as we walk through the gardens.

"We could run away," he says quietly. We? There was never anything romantic between me and Caelum, or at least, I never thought there was. We're just friends. "We could go to the Goetic Forest." he continues, "Or the Hinterlands. We could do it Edie."

The Hinterlands. Another myth.

The Hinterlands are said to lie at the very end of the earth, a place beyond what is visible or known. People who go there never come out.

No one is sure what lies within the Hinterlands. Probably lots of fae, Caelum would fit right in.

He steps in front of me and takes my hands.

"We could run away. You wouldn't have to marry Lord Merrikh, you'd never have to be a lady again. I'd take care of you Edie. I promise."

How tempting. How wonderfully tempting. I can feel tears filling my eyes, because I want so badly to go with him. To find out if maybe there is something between us. Something romantic. But the words 'I promise' remind me of my own promises. My promises to my mother.

I finger the opal pendant unintentionally.

"I can't Caelum," I tell him, my voice breaking as I fight tears. "I want too..." I trail off, unable to bring myself to tell him about the vow dust around my neck.

"Then come with me Edie!" he pleads. His desperate voice is enough to break my heart. I have to explain, I can't just tell him no. Then I'd be breaking his heart as well.

"My mother," I begin to say, "She, she made me make an everlasting vow Caelum."

"An everlasting vow to do what?" he asks, the hope already draining from his eyes.

I pause before I tell him.

"A vow to fulfil the prophecy,"

"No." he says, "No Edie."

"The Nàæta prophecy," I continue, "The one that foretells the fall of a cruel Abluvion lord."

As if I needed to specify which prophecy it was, an ass would have known what I was talking about.

"You'll never do it," he tells me. These are the words I've been telling myself all day.

"I know,"

"Make her renounce it Edie!" he begs me, clutching my hands so hard he's almost hurting me.

"She's gone crazy Caelum," I whisper, "She's not herself."

I draw back my sleeve to reveal the long, deep cut my mother drew on my pale skin. Caelum stares at it in bewildered horror, letting go of my hands and trailing a finger down the scar. He looks up at me, searching for some sign of hope, that maybe there's a way to get out of this, but he doesn't find anything of the sort in my sad blue eyes. Caelum looks crushed.

"Then there's something I have to tell you Edie," he says quietly, releasing my arm and taking a hesitant step forward.

My heart starts to hammer against my rib cage, so loud that I'm sure he must be able to hear it. What is he going to tell me? Part of me seems to know. Part of me doesn't. And there's another part of me that's telling me to run away, run away as fast as I can.

"Something I have to tell you before you die," He takes another step forward and I take a step back. He looks momentarily hurt but doesn't say anything about it.

My head is spinning. Spinning with thoughts of what could have been if what I think he's about to tell me is right. What might have happened if he'd decided to tell me this sooner. Or what might have occurred if I didn't make an everlasting vow. Or if Lord Merikh had been satisfied with Eveleen and she had lived.

Caelum's timing is pretty terrible.

"Elide, I..." he trails off, apparently summoning some more courage. Yesterday I thought he was fearless, but maybe he's more scared than I thought.

He takes a deep breath.

Caelum never calls me Elide. Always Edie, his special nickname for me. The only person who has ever given me a nickname.

Caelum, who I grew up side by side with, who picked me up every time I fell down and didn't sneer at a girl climbing trees or becoming a knight. Caelum who played endless games of pretend with me throughout my childhood, who only ever showed me kindness and who never stared at my birthmark, my imperfection. Caelum who I could relax with, who I could talk about anything with. The boy I talked about everything with.

He takes another step closer to me and this time I don't shy away, I look up into his eyes. He looks nervous, but sincere all the same.

"I love you Elide," he whispers.