To Drown In Icy Depths

Too little too late

I can barely stop myself from gasping at his words. I knew they were coming, I knew what he was going to say, yet still they come as a surprise.

A good surprise? A bad surprise? I have no idea.

But it's too little too late, there's nothing we can do now. I'm getting married in two days time and once I venture into the cold underwater world of Abluvion, I will never see him again. If only things had been different then maybe... Maybe what?

Did I even love Caelum back?

I wasn't sure.

And how could he know what love was, when he was only eighteen, and I, though supposedly older, was still only sixteen. Still young. So young to be getting married. So young to be dying.

I didn't want to die. I don't want to die.

I've been silent for too long. Caelum is waiting for an answer, an answer I don't have. What am I supposed to say to him?

If we had all the time in the world, if I were not going to die, if I had not made an everlasting vow, if it were not too little too late, what would I say?

What would carefree, happy, sincere Elide tell him?

"Caelum," I begin, trying to buy myself some time to figure out what I'm going to say.

"It doesn't matter now," interrupts Caelum.

"It does!" I tell him fiercely, suddenly confidant, suddenly back to my old self.

He looks up at me, surprised.

"And I'm sorry that things have to happen the way they will." I carry on, "I'm sorry about...everything."

"You don't have to be sorry if you don't love me back," he says quietly, misinterpreting my words.

"Yes I do!" I hiss, "I would be sorry, if I..." Where am I even going with this?

"I..." But I can't seem to find the courage to say it. Now I understand how Caelum felt when he had to tell me. Four words. Just four words.

But I can't. I feel so constricted, so much that I'm forgetting to breath properly.

I take a shaky deep breath. Caelum is waiting patiently, hope filling his eyes once again.

"I..." I trail off again.

"Well go on then," Caelum urges me, a playful smirk playing on his features.

"Don't rush me!" I tell him in mock-anger.

"Come on," he says, "Don't keep me waiting."

I frown at him. I am the heir to the Aurelian throne, if anyone has a right to keep him waiting, it's me.

"I love you, you idiot, ok?" I hiss at him. He breaks into a grin and sweeps me off my feet for the second time that day, placing a kiss on my forehead that sends sparks throughout my body. I laugh with him as he sets me back down.

"Ok," he replies.

But it doesn't matter. I'm going to be gone soon. Too little too late. On both of our parts. Caelum seems to be thinking along the same lines, because he says;

"Tomorrow is the last day I'll ever see you,"

The carefree, happy mood is quickly replaced with a more tenebrous one.

"Let's make it a good day then," I tell him.

He nods rather absently.

"And it won't be the last day," I tell him, "You'll see me on my wedding."

"That's different Edie," he says, "You know what I mean."

And I do.

We walk along the rest of the path in silence, both consumed by our own thoughts.

Will we ever walk like this again?

Tomorrow, I tell myself, tomorrow.

"Miss Elide!" comes a frantic voice.

Caelum and I both turn around to see another servant girl, her curly hair braided around her head in a crown and her golden eye-liner contrasting prettily with her dark skin. She looks tired, and frightened, almost.

"Miss Elide!" she says again, dropping into a hasty curtsy. "Lord Merikh has arrived early! Your presence in a welcoming dinner is expected. Your mother said to go change into something else, Safira is waiting for you!"

A welcoming dinner? Lord Merikh? No, this is happening too fast.

"Thank you Calandra!" I say, and casting one last glance at Caelum, I follow her back to the house as fast as my long skirt will allow.

I dash into my bedroom where Safira is indeed waiting, her brow creased with worry and her eyes full of fear. And no wonder, Lord Merikh of Abluvion is in the House of Aurelia.

"Miss Elide!" she exclaims when she sees me.

A powder blue dress is later out on the bed, the skirts thick and trimmed with white lace that resembles sea foam. The neckline reveals my clavicles but not my shoulders, and the long sleeves will cover the mark of my mother's dagger.

Safira begins hastily untying the back of my black gown, the fiddly silk laces making her truculent. Apparently they're even more fiddly than usual since I tied them all wrong when I dressed myself earlier. After what seems like an Aurelien lifetime she's finished and I slip out of my dress.

Safira looks desperately at the corset before picking up the dress.

"No time" she explains breathlessly.

This is probably her idea of a sacrifice.

She pulls the dress over my head and for a few confusing moments I'm lost in the powder blue satin. These moments are fleeting though, and in no time Safira has me looking almost presentable.

All that is left is my hair, which she pins up in a pretty yet simple bun, chastising me all along about walking around the House grounds with my hair down like some lady of the night. I remain silent as she finishes the whole look off with pearl studded comb which she gently plants in the centre of my bun.

Safira steps back to admire her work and smiles rather sadly.

And maybe she's not as innocent and whimsical as I thought, because she pulls me into a tight embrace and buries her face in my neck. I return the gesture.

"Good luck Miss Elide," she tells me.

"Thank you," I reply.

She releases me and dips into a curtsy.

"Off you go now," she says encouragingly, "Your mother and Lord Merikh are waiting."

I nod and hurry off.

Safira isn't really my ladies maid, but ever since Maylea, my old ladies maid, disappeared she's been taking care of me a lot. I'll miss her and the romantic way she sees the world. Maybe she'll miss me too.

I arrive at the formal dining room and knock politely on the door.

"Come in!" Calls my mother.

I open the heavy rosewood door. And there he is. The man responsible for my sister's death. The man I'm going to marry.