To Drown In Icy Depths

Farewell

I am back in my dressing room for the second time that day, Safira and a new band of servants scampering around like lost rabbits.

They're changing me out of my wedding dress, which is more complicated than putting it on, strangely enough.

The delicate skirts are carefully peeled away, one by one, and then tied together again and laid out on the divan. The corset must be expertly unlaced so as not to crease the fabric. The whole process is painstakingly long and once it's finished they have to help me into a new dress, this one rose pink and with many layers of fluttery watered silk. I can only imagine how beautiful it will look underwater, floating out around me in elegant ripples of fabric.

My make up is removed, it would only wash off in the water anyway, and my hair is pulled back into a pretty half-ponytail tied with pink ribbon. The only pearls in this outfit of farewell are those embroidered on the hem of my skirts, out of my sight. I like them that way, out of sight.

Then the servants are finished, and dipping into curtsies, they all hurry out, all except Safira. I take her hands in mine and give her a sad but reassuring smile.

"I wish you the best Safira," I whisper.

She looks on the verge of tears.

I pull her into an embrace she returns without hesitation.

"I wish you the best too," she says.

I want to tell her in that moment, tell her about the opal pendant attached to my garter. But I mustn't. I have already told Caelum. One person is more than I was supposed to reveal my secret too.

But of course I had to tell Caelum. It be would have been cruel not too.

Would it be cruel not to tell her as well?

It doesn't matter if it's cruel, I tell myself, she's safe this way, and so am I.

We both slowly pull away from the embrace and, giving me one last pitying look, Safira ducks out of the room, her green eyes full of tears.

Now it's time for me to go to Abluvion, to walk willingly into the icy depths of the sinister underwater city that will inevitably swallow me and spit me out on the beaches of Elysian, paled, bloodied and drowned.

And dead. Very much dead.

Too late for escape, for begging or refusing to comply. No, it's much too late for anything except to honour my everlasting vow. The vow that hangs heavy around my neck.

All these thoughts have clouded and circled around my head like swirling smoke for a long time now. Best to just get all of this over with.

I walk out of my dressing room and into the hallway. It's empty, not even servants are walking around here. The wallpaper is white and painted with golden flowers and patterns. The hallway seems to last forever, stretching into infinity.

I will remember this hallway for the rest of my days.

And then I reach the end of it and turn a corner. I am standing at the top of the grand staircase in the entrance room of the House of Aurelia. At the foot of the staircase are my parents and my newly wed husband. All of their heads swivel in my direction as I begin descending the staircase. My mother and father looking heartbroken, Lord Merikh looking bored.

Unlike my journey down the hallway, the flight of stairs seems to end much faster than usual. Too soon I am standing before my parents.

Our goodbyes are stiflingly formal. No tears shed, though their eyes are glistening, and few words spoken, though we all seem on the verge of saying something. I suppose my good fortune of being born into such a wealthy family comes with price of the distance of my relatives. With great power comes great responsibility and all that. Still, in another life...Maybe...

But no. I'm very grateful. I've had a good life. Such a shame it has to come to an end.

As if asking me to punctuate this thought, Lord Merikh holds out his hand for me to take, no smirk or boredom playing on his face now. Instead he looks somber, which is fitting really.

I offer him an insipid smile and take his hand. Our fingers intertwine, and casting one last look at my parents, I am lead out of the only home I have ever known and towards the sinister icy depths that await me.

Lord Merikh leads me through the carefully pruned gardens, along a gravel path that's littered with spectators wishing me farewell. They are mostly silent, as if it were my funeral. This thought sends a shiver down my spine.

We walk along slowly. We are going to the staircase of Abluvion, the one that disappears into the water.

Lord Merikh gently pulls me closer to his side. This makes me shiver again. He notices this and says;

"Are you cold Elide?"

I subtly shake my head, a strand of hair falling into my face. I'm about to brush it away when he does so for me, his long elegant fingers tucking the brown hair behind my ear. I look up at him, but he is looking away from me, dark blue eyes focused on the road ahead.

The staircase of Abluvion is in sight now. He must be eager to return to his home. I cannot exactly relate.

His pace quickens.

But I don't want to go faster, I want to stay here in Aurelia. Stay here forever.

He's practically dragging me along now, though he doesn't seem to notice. His firm grip on my hand tightens, so much so that it hurts. I try to keep the grimace of pain out of my face, only half succeeding.

And then we are at the top of the staircase, and I am standing stock still. My feet refuse to move.

Lord Merikh steps down onto the first stair and turns around to see that I'm not following.

"What are you waiting for?" He asks me, and then realised that's a bit of a stupid question.

Still clutching his hand, I turn my head to get one last look at the Aurelian gardens and the people scattered around the path. My home...

I turn back to the staircase. Lord Merikh is waiting patiently for me. I look down at my feet, still on land, not yet touching the water. I'm wearing a pair of golden silk slippers. It's silly really, you don't need shoes underwater. No one in their right mind goes swimming with shoes on.

And so I slip out of the pumps, leaving them at the top of the staircase in a sick sort of imitation of the Aurelian Cinderella fairytale.

And then I step onto the first stair, joining Lord Merikh.

"Why did you take them off?" He asks me as we descend.

I glance back at my golden slippers.

"I wanted to leave something there," I tell him, "Something I can be remembered for."

And I suppose I did.

My own special farewell to the people of Aurelia.