See You Again // DNF

Chapter Thirteen

Clay needed to talk to someone about his feelings for George. He's never felt this way about anyone. Was he supposed to tell George how he felt? George definitely didn't feel the same, so what would be the point of telling him?

He was conflicted. Half of him wanted to just tell George, he had some hope that maybe he felt the same way. The other half of him wanted to hide any sort of feeling, in fear of rejection, and the pain it would cause to potentially have to leave George.

He needed to speak with someone.

The walk across town seemed to be slower than usual, as he dreaded the conversation he was about to have, but it was needed. They would know what to do, they always knew.

The familiar house slowly came into view, dread settling deep in Clay's chest. Reaching the door with a sigh, he slowly knocked. Someone answered the door after a few moments.

"Dream?"

"Sapnap, I messed up."

"Come in," Sapnap opened the door, gesturing for Clay to enter.

"What did you do? Does it have to do with that friend we talked about a few weeks ago?" Sapnap takes a seat on the couch that rested in the middle of the room, Clay following.

"I didn't do anything, but yes," Clay sighed, shoving his face into his hands.

"Well, if you didn't do anything, how did you mess up?" Sapnap rested a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"I think that maybe I," he paused, lifting his head to look at his friend, "I think I caught feelings for him."

"You think?" He questioned before adding "I didn't know you were into guys."

"I didn't think I was, either, but he just makes it so hard for me to not."

Sapnap could, obviously, tell his friend was conflicted and confused.

"How?" Sapnap didn't exactly understand how one of his closest friends could be so confused about his feelings. Clay was usually so self assured in everything he did.

"He just is perfect Sap. Everything he does, I just find myself enchanted by it. The way he smiles or laughs, even when my jokes aren't even funny. He doesn't treat me like I'm nothing. He makes me feel like I'm actually someone. I can't stop thinking about him and it's hurting me knowing that, maybe, I can't be with him," Clay's voice cracked towards the end of his speech, pushing his head back into his hands.

It had felt like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders when he finally admitted, out loud, his true feelings for George.

"Clay, how do you know you can't be with him?"

"I don't know if he even likes guys, and even if he did, I doubt he would even be into me," Clay's voice was laced with insecurity.

"The way you talk about him makes me think he might feel the same. If you never tell him, you'll never know. You'll never have any closure," Sapnap gave his lost friend a half smile.

"That's what I'm afraid of Sapnap. What if he does feel the same? I could never bring myself to leave him if he did," Clay's voice became a whisper.

"What do you mean?"

It was Sapnaps turn to be confused.

"Sapnap, don't play dumb. You know I have to do it. I have to leave, eventually," Clay looked sadly at his friend.

"What if he did feel the same? What if he wanted to be with you?" He paused, "Dream, if you never tell him, you'll never know the answers. You'll regret it forever," Sapnap gave Clay a reassuring smile.

"I don't think he'd ever come with me, Sapnap," Clay looked away from him.

"And why is that?" Sapnap asked, still confused.

"It's George. George is who I like," Clay shamefully admitted.

"George? As in," Sapnap started before his friend cut him off.

"Prince George. Yes," Clay blurted, embarrassed with himself.

"Dream, you are so dumb," Sapnap sighed at his friend.

"You think I don't know that Sapnap?" Clay was starting to get frustrated. He realized he was taking it out on the wrong person. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't be getting mad at you."

"Dream, not to be overly optimistic, but if George really did like you, maybe he would go with you," Sapnap hesitated with his words, careful not to upset Clay again.

"I don't want to get my hopes up. I don't want to be disappointed," Clay admitted.

"Well, here's my advice: I think you need to tell George about your feelings and your plans. I think he should know." Sapnap smiled softly at his friend. The two stand up and walk towards the door.

"Thank you, Sapnap. I honestly don't know what I would do without you," Sapnap smiled, then pulled him into a long hug.

"Yeah," he laughed, "You'd be a mess without me."

They felt each other's laughs through their hug.

"I should go. Thank you, really," Clay gave his friend one last smile before heading out the door starting the walk back.

"Bye, Dream." Sapnap waved.

Clay's house came back into view quickly. Getting inside, he gently laid on his back on the bed, staring at the ceiling.

Sapnap was right. George deserved to know about his feelings, even if it meant George didn't return him. He still deserves to know.

Clay needed to tell George about his feelings.