Chapter Twenty-One

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He felt horrible, not only mentally, but physically. Clay had barely gotten any sleep, an hour at the most. So many thoughts had clouded his mind, so many emotions filled his heart. Mostly sadness and anger.

Unlike usual, he was dreading arriving at the field. George would be excited to see him as always, probably even try to invite him in because of the cold weather. He would have to decline, and it would hurt both of them.

He didn't understand how we would be able to do any of what he had to.

He couldn't think about it anymore, the field was already coming into his view. It had felt like he only had been walking for two minutes, but in reality, it had been almost ten.

Just as he expected, George was already out, leaned against the slightly frosted wall. He was bundled up in multiple layers, a blue scarf laced around his neck.

"Clay!" A cheerful smile immediately found its way onto George's face.

Clay returned the soft smile before George wrapped his arms around him.

"Let's head in, it's very cold out here," George turned, beginning to head toward the opening.

"George?" Clay's voice slightly broke.

"Yeah?" George turned back around.

"We actually need to talk," he kept his eyes trained on the ground, avoiding eye contact with George.

"About what?"

"I'm so sorry, George," there was another crack in his voice.

"Clay, what is it? You're worrying me."

George reached out to grab Clay's hand. He didn't grab back, only slightly pulling his hand away.

"I'm leaving," his voice was small and tears began to fill his eyes.

"What?" George's voice was just as small.

"I'm so sorry, George, but I have to go home."

"Home? This is your home?" George's voice raised slightly.

"I know and it is, but it's my mother."

"What do you mean?" George paused slightly before adding "What's wrong?"

"My sister came to see me last night. She told me my father passed away," Clay finally looked up to meet George's eyes.

"I'm so sorry, Clay."

"It's fine, George. It's just that my mom isn't doing so well. My sister needs my help and I don't know how long I'll be gone," his voice was heavy.

"Will it be long?" George's voice was cracking now.

"I don't know, George. It could be."

"Oh," George's voice was small as he looked away from Clay.

"George, I," Clay started but stopped when he saw the tears that had formed in George's eyes.

"Please don't cry, George." He reached out to put his hand on George's cheek.

George only stepped back before responding.

"I'm not going to. I have no right getting upset over this," George's voice wavered.

"Of course you do, George," Clay's voice raised slightly.

"It's your family, Clay! I can't be upset over it," George's voice also raised.

"But you do!" Clay's voice raised into a soft yell, it softened before adding, "We love each other and I'm just leaving you here by yourself."

"Clay, I understand even if it hurts me. I know you'll come back to me."

"That's the problem, George. I don't know when," he paused, "or if I'll come back."

"What do you mean?" George's voice was merely a whisper, struggling to hold in his tears.

"George, I could be gone for awhile," Clay's voice was weak.

"I'll wait for you."

"George, don't wait up for me. If you find someone else, and fall in love with them, don't feel bad. Don't think about me. I just want you to be happy, even if I'm not with you." The tears finally found their way out of Clay's eyes.

"How could I ever love someone more than I love you."

"You'll find someone, George. I know you will."

"Please, Clay. There has to be another option." More tears were falling from George's eyes.

"George, the only thing I could think of is you coming with me, but that is unrealistic." Clay gave him a sad smile.

George didn't respond.

"I love you so much, George."

Clay pulled George closer in. Leaning down, he connected their lips in one last kiss. It was slow and full of passion, their tears mixing.

Clay pulled away first, still holding George close. He studied his face, trying to memorize it, even if he knew he would never forget anything about George. How could he?

With one last longingly look, he turned away, back toward the way he came.

George's voice stopped him, making him face toward George again.

"Will I see you again, Clay?"

Clay didn't respond, he only gave George a sad smile before leaving the way he came, for good.

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