enigmatic |t.r.|

15.

the next morning they woke up beside each other, naked and lonely because even when they were touching they were alone.

tom was always busy with his plans and meredith with her pains, a letter and an anagram making a lot of difference.

his arm was still wrapped around her in an almost comforting way

but she knew better

because it was only a matter of time to leave his bed and never come back

because this was what tom did with the girls

and this was what meredith did with her pain.

she tried to move but she was imprisoned and pushed against a biting heart, she was pretty sure hers stopped beating last night and tom's heart was a clock or maybe a bomb, thirty, thirty one, thirty two seconds before exploding.

don't leave.

and meredith's heart started beating again because it almost sounded like he meant it

but then again she had tasted all his lies in his mouth last night

she had kissed every single one of them

she knew their taste and how they felt pressed into her mouth.

i have to go.

why?

a question like that sounded amazing after a lie, it was a question that didn't need an answer because it was one itself.

because pain is not here anymore.

then met me hurt you again.

and he did.

not physically, he didn't need to use his hands or wand, he didn't need to use spells and curses, he just need to use his lips and the softest of touches because it was amazing how much pain meredith could dig out of a single touch.

it was like softness turned into pain when she was being touched.

he had never hurt someone so softly before.

she could turn anything into a catastrophe, he could kiss her and she would still feel miserable and sad, he could touch her and she would still turn it into a bruise.

she didn't know how to appreciate the closeness of two bodies without considering it pain and horrible and sweet all together because she really enjoyed her pain.

and one kiss led to another and two kisses led to touches and moans and biting and pleasure, endless waves of pleasure, and tom suddenly knew.

she could only enjoy pleasure if she associated it with pain.

she could only be happy if she experienced the lowest levels of sadness.

she needed bad things to feel the good ones.

but he didn't know why.

she always needed a tragedy.

and then, tom riddle made his first mistake.

because for him, the ultimate tragedy was death.

but for her, the ultimate tragedy was living.

their relationship it was always a matter of different definitions.

sex is a way
of breaking you

sex is a way
of forgetting how much
i like being broken

i kiss you because
words bore me

i kiss you because
words scare me

choking is a way of
gaining power

choking is a way of
dying without dying

i will break you
because i want to

i will let you break me
because you want to

what a tragedy
it would be
to kill you

what a tragedy
it would be to leave me alive
after you're done with me

tragedy is a funny thing.

most of the times, you barely notice it's there.

then, you look in the mirror and half of your face is gone.