Inflamed - a Frozen story

2. At the campfire

The fire crackled and the wind rushed through the branches swaying in the dark. Elsa, Honeymaren and Ryder were each wrapped in blankets and watched the flames dance. "Well, if we just forget about the drought for a few moments: I'm so, so excited for Arendelle", Ryder said. "Really?" Elsa smiled, visibly pleased with his enthusiasm for her home. "Oh yes! When we were there last winter, I thought it was just amazing! All of these lovely people in their lovely homes - I could spend all day just looking at their homes! I mean, compare those to our huts... And I'm really looking forward to see Kristoff and Sven and Olaf!"

"Me too."

"And the women."

While Ryder stared dreamily into the fire, Elsa and Honeymaren exchanged a puzzled look. "To ... the women?" Honeymaren finally asked her brother, who now recognized the incomprehension on their faces. "Yes - didn't you see what beautiful girls live in Arendelle", he asked. Elsa saw how Honeymaren shifted restlessly back and forth and adjusted her blanket until she said hesitantly: "Well, of course ... Arendelle has ... some beautiful daughters." She bit her lip.

"Seriously, I think there is simply no woman for me here in the forest", her brother continued.

"Oh Ryder", Honeymaren sighed. "I've already told you: How do you really want to get to know a girl if you surround yourself with reindeers day in and day out?!"

"If she was the one for me, she would love reindeers just as much as I do."

"You won't find that out if you don't spend time with someone ..."

"But who is that supposed to be? All of the women in our tribe are either too old, too young, or just... not for me."

Honeymaren sent Elsa a resigned smile across the fire.

"No, my wife won't be a Northuldra", Ryder sighed.

"Then you really should have a look around Arendelle", Elsa said.

"Yes, do you think so?" The young man's dark eyes lit up.

"Yes, of course. And you should consult Anna. The prospect of having a wedding between Northuldra and Arendelle at some point in the future will simply excite her."

"I can imagine..." With a sigh, he poked a stick in the burning wood, "Huh, why is love so difficult..."

The fire crackled calmly and for a moment all three of them were lost in their own thoughts. It was Ryder again who broke the silence: "Have you ever been in love, Elsa?" 

The question hit Elsa like a cool shower. How did the subject suddenly get to her? She looked uncertainly at Ryder, who was waiting for her answer with wide eyes. "Me... no. Well, I don't think so...", she said, pulling the shawl around her shoulders closer. She wasn't cold, she never really was - yet she felt a slight shiver rushing through her body. 

"Never? Not even a little bit?!" 

"Ryder!" Honeymaren warned her brother from the side. 

"It's okay", Elsa smiled. It was okay - but not easy. "It's like this ...", she slowly began to carry out her thoughts. "I think that... as I lived isolated in the castle for so long and only got to know a few people... it just never happened. And even if someone had been there..." Both Ryder's and Honeymaren's eyes seemed to widen. Elsa tried to concentrate on her choice of words: "... even if I had the feeling that I could like someone a little bit more .."

"Did you?"

"Ryder!" Honeymaren hissed.

Elsa shrugged her shoulders, "... if so, I successfully nipped it in the bud."

"But - have you never ever longed to have someone by your side?" Ryder leaned back against a tree trunk. "I mean, I know Honeymaren - she likes to keep her feelings a big secret, so I don't even ask her that anymore!"

"That's right", Honeymaren muttered.

"Besides, Yelena will make sure that you get married some day", he added in the direction of his sister, who did not move. Elsa's eyes twitched between the two. What did he mean by that? "But you, Elsa", Ryder said then, looking at her. "I can still learn so much from you!" 

"But certainly nothing when it comes to love", Elsa answered, while a shy blush showed on her cheeks. 

"Hm. Well - maybe it's just better not to care too much about love. Because being alone is like being free" Ryder said.

"I don't think so", Elsa replied, her gaze fixed on the flickering fire. "If I've learned one thing, it's that we need other people around us... Besides, you shouldn't forget that my sister is the greatest romantic in the world. So none of this is completely strange to me..."

"But?"

Elsa took a deep breath before she admitted: "Being close to other people makes me nervous. And when I get nervous, stupid things happen to me... I don't need to tell you the story of my coronation again. I think, I ..." It took her some seconds before she found the courage to add softly: "I think I'm just scared."

"That's funny", Ryder said. "You are the snow queen, you are the fifth spirit - if someone doesn't need to be afraid, it's you!"

"Fear of rejection ... fear of losing control... fear of being hurt. It's all bad for love, for which you have to open your heart..." Elsa's voice seemed to decrease with every word, but Ryder and Honeymaren were on her lips. "Anna is so different", Elsa sighed. "Sometimes I envy her." In her mind, Elsa saw how fearlessly Anna met people, laughing, accessible to everyone. Anna's whole personality seemed to be one big invitation to love. Elsa was like the exact opposite. She pulled the scarf around her even tighter: "Besides that ... at the end of the day, it still takes two, doesn't it?" 

Over the top of the flame, she saw Honeymaren move. "I can't imagine that there wouldn't be anyone", she said. A spark shot up from the flames into the darkness and burned up as quickly as it came. "I mean, you are kind, beautiful ... intelligent ... strong ..." She paused, shifted back and forth and cleared her throat. "What I want to say is - I can well imagine someone who falls in love with you..." Her voice faltered. "... but that ... the one ... would have too much respect to ever tell you." 

Their eyes met and just like in the forest earlier, Elsa had the feeling that in that moment everything else around her disappeared into nothing. 

"Too much respect for you as a royal daughter. Too much respect for you as the snow queen - and as a spirit of nature. How could someone ... ordinary ... ever be worthy of you?"

For several breaths the words hung between them in the warm, dim air of the campfire. Ryder's eyes darted uncertainly between the two women. Elsa needed some time to sort her thoughts. "That ... is a fallacy," she finally said. "I'm only human, too. I... " The rest didn't come easy. "I don't want to be anything special to anyone. Just Elsa. Nothing else."

But she knew exactly what Honeymaren meant. She looked down at the palms of her hands, which had been spellbound all her life and had so often played a trick on her. Again and again life had reminded her that she wasn't just Elsa. Throughout her youth she had learned that with great power comes great responsibility. How could she ever ask anyone to carry these with her? Deep inside, she had always known that she had to walk this path alone. And no matter how often Anna had tried to prove her wrong - in the end, Elsa still believed it: she was different. She always had been, and even today, after so many years of learning, she still felt it. All the more disturbing was what happened to her in the presence of Honeymaren. Just a few minutes ago. A simple touch, a completely insignificant moment - but Elsa's powers had gone wild and Honeymaren's skin had been frozen, although this was the last thing Elsa wanted to do.

"It's good that you're just Elsa to us", Ryder suddenly broke the silence with his mischievous smile. "To be honest - we three have no idea about love! We cannot change it! All the better that we will go to Anna tomorrow and pick up an extra lesson." A smile crept over Elsa's lips. She was actually very happy to see her sister again and to be able to talk to her. About the forest and everything she had already learned about nature and its magic ... And maybe also about the woman who sat across from her on the other side of the fire - and right in this moment avoided her gaze.