Inflamed - a Frozen story

11. Alive

When Elsa opened her eyes again, she looked right against the tent wall. She was lying on one of the Northuldra bunks. Her head hurt. "Oh Elsa, there you are again", she heard a well-known voice above her. She was looking into Anna's blue eyes. "Do you know who I am? How many fingers do I show?" Anna waved her hand in front of her face so that Elsa couldn't help but laugh: "Eleven? Everything is fine, Anna..."

"I'm so happy", Anna cried and pulled Elsa into her arms. "Will I ever be able to stop worrying about you?"

"I'm afraid... no."

Elsa saw some tears in her sister's eyes. "You were out for two days", she said. "I was really afraid..."

"Two whole days? I really must have left all my powers in there... "

"We have ridden back to the Northuldra village. If you hadn't woken up, I would have taken you to Arendelle with me! Yelena gave you some strange potions..."

"So Yelena is fine?"

Anna nodded.

"That's good... I'm fine, too. Really! Just... ", Elsa felt a stitch inside of her chest. "What about Honeymaren?"

Just in that moment, the tent curtains moved aside and two dark eyes blinked at her. "Now that's timing", Anna laughed and got up. "I'll leave you alone for a moment. Elsa, even if you don't want to hear it: take it easy. You are still weak."

As soon as Anna left the tent with a wink, Honeymaren came up to her and sat down on the edge of the bed: "How are you?"

"Good", Elsa said and added softly: "Now that I know that you are alright."

Honeymaren lowered her eyes. "You saved me. Well - you saved us all. But... you also... saved me." Elsa felt her heart in her chest. She really lacked the strength for many words. So she just pressed Honeymaren's hand. "I can't tell you how grateful I am", the tanned girl said softly.

"I couldn't help it."

"Because snow queens are just meant to save the world?" She winked at her, but Elsa was immediately annoyed to have put it that way. "That wasn't really what I meant..." 

How could she tell her? She hadn't even been able to process what had happened there in the mountain herself. Her powers had vanished, the demon had engulfed her in insignificance - but then there was Honeymaren and there were only two options: to die. Or to force the last bit of strength out of herself to save her somehow. Elsa could not have known whether it would work - and yet, in that moment, she had felt no doubt. Maybe because she knew that even if it hadn't worked out, it would have been worth it. And that meant... it mattered.

All of this flashed through her head as she sat there on her bunk, looked into Honeymaren's dear eyes and felt her hand in hers - but how could she tell her that? 

"There's a little party tonight", Honeymaren said then. "Not comparable to the festival in Arendelle, of course! But ... it will be nice, for sure. Depending on how you feel..."

"I feel fine."

"...maybe you can come."

Elsa nodded. The two women blinked at each other and Elsa thought for a moment that she felt a kind of magnetism. She wanted to lean forward, just a little - but then Honeymaren stood up: "So maybe I will see you tonight. But, as Anna said: take it easy." The curtains closed and Elsa found herself alone in the tent. Slowly she fell back onto her pillow.

All day long Elsa stayed in her tent, walked a few steps up and down, had her temperature checked and ate something. She was fine again. However, she was uncomfortable with the thought of going to the festival. Anna, Kristoff, Olaf and Sven had visited her and joked around, but again and again Anna had given her a worried look. Elsa was able to defeat the demon of the Mountain of Fire and to save the forest from ruin, and yet she was not able to solve her own little problems... Without having to talk about it, Anna seemed to be thinking exactly that. 

In the evening, she helped her dress for the party. "You still haven't told her, have you", Anna said as she brushed through her hair.

"Hm?"

"Elsa, stop it!"

Elsa sighed, "I... I just don't know how, Anna. Before I went into the mountain... I saw her with Eetu and ... it just fits."

"Oh come on! The situation was very tense for all of us. They just known for such  a long time..."

"I've never been with anyone..."

"Well, it's about time!"

"What if she doesn't feel that way? What if I embarrass myself - if everyone loathes me for getting in the way of Eetu?"

"Nobody could ever loathe you, Elsa..."

"What if it will never be the same again..."

"Of course it won't - because then you no longer dance around each other like shy little children, but look each other straight into the eyes, as partners do, and share your lives... and..."

"... and what?"

"Your beds", Anna giggled and Elsa gave her an alarmed look.

"Excuse me! But it's the truth", Anna said and Elsa felt that frightening tingling again.

"I don't want to think about that", she said, whereupon Anna put her hands on her hips indignantly: "I beg your pardon?! That's the most normal thing in the world! You can't tell me you haven't thought about it yet! Elsa, you are alive! You have a body! Use it!"

"Anna!" Elsa exclaimed more harshly than intended. "I ... I'm afraid of that too. You know I don't let people get close to me. And so close .. I don't even know if I can do that!"

"Of course you can..."

"But it doesn't make sense to think about something that's so hypothetical! I still don't know if there is any chance that Honeymaren... ever... somehow... would want... with me..."

Anna stepped in front of her, took her shoulders and looked deep into her eyes. "Let's just find out", she said with her mischievous smile. "Tonight!" The determination in Anna's blue eyes left no room for objections.