Peaches, [has a bloody, mangled leg]: You see, I would totally go to the hospital right now. But besides my fibula, I've also fractured my motivation
-
Nugget: Coon sneezed earlier and I accidentally said "shut the fuck up" instead of "bless you"
Cupcake: how does that even happ-
Peaches: oof yes been there, done that
-
KJ: how do you tell someone you want to hit them in a face with a brick but like...politely?
Cupcake: one wishes to acquaint your facial features with a fundamental item used in building walls...repeatedly.
Peaches, wiping away a single tear: that was the most beautiful and touching thing I've ever heard...wait- it's not me you want to hit with a brick is it?
KJ, [scratches next sheepishly]: one wishes to acquaint your...
-
[something blows up]
Nugget: what did you do-
Muffin: my best.
-
Muffin: So what is KJ to you?
Nugget: the reason I get up in the morning
Muffin: aww
KJ earlier that morning, barging into Nugget's room, smacking pans together: WAKE UP WAKE UP GET YOUR ASS OUTTA BED WAKE UP WAKE UP
Cupcake: oh- is that why...
KJ, from above: I'm duct taped to the ceiling fan? Yes.
-
[Peaches & Nugget skipping rocks]
Peaches: it's such a beautiful evening, I love golden hour
Nugget: Yeah it is
Nugget, throwing pebbles *whispering*: take that you fucking lake
-
Peaches: why can't trees give out something important like WiFi?
Nugget: so fuck oxygen then I guess
-
KJ: change is inedible
Nugget: don't you mean inevitable?
KJ, spitting out a bunch of pennies: no, I really don't
-
Muffin: Oh, here's my award for the most rules broken!
Cupcake : That's not an award, it's an angry letter from our boss.
Muffin, hanging it on their wall: Well, it has the word 'most' in it, so I'm calling it an award!
-
KJ: I'm gonna mix a can of Red Bull with seventeen shots of espresso in a fishbowl and then chug it while Kids by MGMT plays in the background so I can perceive twenty-three spatial dimensions and fight my own soul.
-
Cupcake: I'm not a people person.
Cupcake: I'm barely a person.
-
Peaches: Look guys, I need help.
Cubby: Psychological help?
Nugget: Culinary help?
Cupcake: Educational help?
Muffin: Emotional help?
KJ: Help moving a body?
*Everybody looks at KJ*
KJ: ¯\_(-_-)_/¯
-
Nugget, yelling at a YouTube video angrily: ARE YOU-
KJ: fucking.
Nugget: -KIDDING ME?! YOU-
KJ: fucking.
Nugget: IDIOT-
Cubby: ...what was that?
KJ: Cupcake and Muffin challenged Nugget to stop swearing for a day so i volunteered to help them out
Peaches: i think you just like saying the f word.
KJ: that doesn't make my job any less important.
-
Nugget: every time I'm confronted with a problem and feel desperate and helpless, I look at a picture of all of us together.
Group: awww–
Nugget: and I tell myself, if I can survive living with those dumbass clowns, it means I can handle every problem.
Group:
-
Cubby: What's your greatest strength?
Nugget: Getting out of corn mazes.
Cubby: Uh... ok. And your greatest weakness?
Nugget: I keep finding myself unexpectedly in corn mazes.
Cubby, realizing they're both magically in a corn maze: What the hell?!
Nugget, cracking knuckles: Guess it's my time to shine.
-
Muffin: Hey Peaches, what you doing here?
Peaches: This is where I come to cry.
Muffin: What?
Peaches *quickly wipes tears and disposes tissues*: I said this is where I come to be a cool guy.
