lost [kaneki fanfic]

3

"what was that? what kind of idiot just stares at someone like that" You think to yourself.
Ever since you first heard of the infamous eyepatch, you couldn't help but admire him.

"A one eyed ghoul with Rize's kagune. he's strong."

You continue to make your way back home.
With the mission successfully completed, everyone was impatient to leave, dismayed by their untended injuries.
Your legs come to a halt as you reach an intersection. You were just about to walk towards the left when you hear someone call for you.

"miss" You turn your heal to see kaneki. He had a mask in his hand, one that looked far too similar to yours, you instantly knew whose it was.
"sorry, i don't know what to call you" Kaneki apologies.
"it's y/n"
"my bad y/n, you left this" Kaneki says with a mask in his hand.

It's been less than a year since you first met him at that coffee shop, you never knew him well but you could easily tell how much he's changed. His hair is white instead of black, and his face looks bedeviled with exhaustion and stress, a lot different from the joyous face you once looked upon.
It's clear to see that he's more fearless and pensive now.

"thank you but that's not mine" You respond whilst showing him your real mask.
"that's reo's, our masks are pretty much identical. you can hand it to me and i'll help return it to him."
"oh, here then" He concludes.

Just as you're about to leave, kaneki speaks up again.
"y/n, your kagunes, were you born with all four of them?"
You merely respond with a nod, expressing your curt indifference for this conversation.
Kaneki seemed like he was about to say something else but hesitance stalled him.
After only less than a moment, the impatience that stuck with you like glue took over.
"right then, i'm gonna go. nice to meet you, kaneki" You declare.
"i don't think i ever told you my name"
"you didn't, i asked about you" You respond with an insincere smile.
Kaneki's face freezes again as his mind seeks for a response, giving you the perfect opportunity to make an exit.
The white haired boy only stood still and watched as you leave, unable to think of anything else to say.

"goodbye y/n" Kaneki mutters to himself.

---------------

You stand in front of the mirror and stare at yourself, or at least the distorted image of yourself.
You put on your mask as you prepare for the next mission.

The moment you reach the desired destination, most of the Aogiri Tree members had already arrived.
All of them had the same displeasing looks on their faces, it made you sick to your stomach.
"why does everyone look so glum, cheer up a bit wont you" You shamelessly fret.
"oi, its only been less than three weeks since our last mission. we lost many people that day, cant expect us to be joyful" Ayato said to you privately.
You frown with disappointment, and look away from the blue haired man.
As your eyes wonder off to somewhere else, anywhere else, it instinctively landed on kaneki.
He had his mask on, nearly his whole face was covered so you could barely see anything but his eyes.
They were grey and deep and had flecks of silvery light perform ballets throughout.

"alright, everyone's already here" Tatara confirmed.
Your mind was so drowned in random thoughts that you hadn't noticed everyone else already arrived.
It was time for another operation, shivers tingle down your spine as you feel that rush of adrenaline once again.
You grasp onto your sword and fix your mask, making sure its secured.

The plan began to pan out, everyone separated in an instance. You quickly defend yourself against all the humans in your way that sought to kill you.
This time you had no choice but to use your kagunes since your time was limited and the guards here were far more skilled.
Like many of the previous missions you've been on with the Aogiri Tree, bombs would always have been planted beforehand, already timed to explode after a certain amount of time.
You decided to only use your rinkakus and bikakus this time, plunging through every human body you encountered with your long and strong tentacles.

Within less than an hour, the enemy's base had been raided and dead bodies were scattered everywhere, both ghouls and humans'.
However there were many still standing and fighting. You quickly made your way around the entire building to help evacuate all the members before the bombs were scheduled to explode, finishing the enemies once and for all.
Almost every main room was emptied so you scurried to the more secluded areas as your heart began to pound harder and faster. Parts of your body continued to bleed out, it was rare for you to be this hurt, you couldn't help but feel a sense of disappointment.

You then stumble across a room, the door was left barely open. Even through that small gap you could easily see blood dispersed on the walls. It was a horrific sight, dead bodies were laid everywhere upon the narrow hallway.
Believing that no one else was inside, you decide to leave before hearing ragged breaths coming from the dark room.
You slowly open the door to see kaneki, his back was hunched against the wall and his face was staring down as blood slowly dripped from every part of his body.

"need any help" You take off your mask and ask as kaneki looks up to you.
The white haired boy grabs onto the arm you offered out to him.
As his hand clutched onto yours, for a split second you were able to catch a glimpse of his eyes. They emanated such pain, and through it you could see a long litany of tragedies and hurt.
He looked tired and lost.
You then freed your hand and looked around the room. Kaneki put on his mask and looked at you.
"thank you"
"we should get going, we don't have much time left"

The two of you scurried out of the building just in time.
All of the Aogiri Tree members stood still while they waited for the bomb to let off.
"five seconds" Eto chuckled, clearly amused by the gruesome situation thats about to befall upon them.
"three, two, one" She continued to count.

As predicted, the bomb imploded. The loud sound of the explosion echoed through the whole area, yet no one flinched.
Flames rose into the sky joined with rays of smoke towering over it all.

"what a sight for sore eyes" Eto exclaimed with excitement.
You looked at her with disgust in your eyes, though it wasn't an unfamiliar sight, every time you robbed someone of their life, it'll always be a discomforting thing. You'd do it with no hesitation but once the body has been injured the guilt will forever remain a stain.
This was one of the difficulties of being a ghoul, you'll always be burdened with guilt and regret for merely protecting yourself.

Once the smoke was cleared, all that was left were destroyed walls tainted with ash and fire.
All the bodies that couldn't escape were burnt to crisps, no one could even tell what had happened.