A sad smile is still a smile

When life gives you a rock, you throw it and you don't look back.

Remember when life was fun and easy and your biggest worries was did you tell the wrong person a secret you were supposed to keep to yourself but then again, isn't that what life is about as well? Like anytime you think you finally made a friend or more you think are perfect for you and you think you can trust can easily turn around and give you the slap you deserve for even giving an ounce of who you are to someone you shouldn't have. But that's okay I guess, we got snakes everywhere you don't even have to visit the zoo at this point. You think depression always has to be with a reason? I think it can be because of things you do everyday that slowly deteriorate yourself without you even realizing which is quite funny if you think about it but I guess it's the truth in the end is it not? People you walk by everyday often have different and random assumptions of how your life has been panned out as far as the moment they have seen you but ever stopped and thought why? People need escape from their own realities sometimes so you make up random scenarios in your head thinking why didn't I have my life panned out that way. We are all humans after all so it's not considered abnormal to ever think that way because as humans we are never satisfied no matter how many things we get or how lucky we are considering the circumstances of whatsoever. Sometimes having overwhelming thoughts of everything at once can just throw you in a spiral that is hard to come out of and when you finally do, you will find yourself through the same whirlpool all over again. Anytime you seek for advice you yearn to hear but deny to execute because you are scared you will regret it, you don't want to listen anymore no matter how good the advice was because you think it's too late. You tell yourself it's a goodbye to something that never happened. Why are you not ready for something you were so confident about? Ever heard of being overconfident or being to overwhelmed of the idea? Yeah that. You can never be very happy without something eventually ruining it the same way you can't be too sad without something cheering you up eventually. Even the best thing walking into your life and you shooing it away isn't the worst thing you can do. Because even that isn't fair. We all have our ups and downs but if you work through it then you just might be lucky to get out while you can. Rambling is something easy to do when you are nervous the same way when you are upset about something, it's easy to be on the edge and cry at seconds notice from someone asking you this very weakness of a question, "are you okay?" Oh dear god you are gone and I'm not surprised. One day you decide you are gonna be happy and later on one little thing you promised yourself that won't affect you just pushes you off the cliff of emotions you shut away a long time ago, falling, and your single tear that's fighting to fall from your watery eyelids give in and fall to a pair of heavy hands. Your life seems perfectly normal and you look happy ninety percent of the time yet still you have this aching heart telling you otherwise. It's not like you aren't grateful for what you have but you just can't help it. Don't count on someone who won't even build stairs of memories with you let alone the happy ones. I'm a joke to everyone in some way, like I can't be taken serious let alone let me go and walk away not looking back thinking I was nothing in their life. A forgettable touch in someone's heart. You know the term "fake"? You can see that in people when you look a little closer at times, when they are vulnerable and cannot be honest about how they really think and feel. It's funny though, people have the urge to fake themselves just to please others when they really don't have too. But they don't want to seem weak or easy so they just present themselves as being strong and happy when really inside they are breaking apart literally one by one everyday until a little push can send them over and there may not be going back, you can really change a person but you have a choice. The Good or bad way. It's your choice. But people are bound to walk into your life eventually, you have to choose if you want to let them in or push them away even when they really are good for you. Sometimes we can't handle that. Being hurt is just as easy as taking a candy from a baby, we are humans we have feelings but it's scary how one can easily switch it off, I mean literally switch off your feelings when you don't want to deal with them anymore. Of course this is complementary to you being hurt and pushed away a thousand times. It's not an option.