Red Winter [Bucky Barnes]

Chapter 12: James Buchanan Barnes

When I woke up everything was in a haze and I found myself standing in the middle of a city I had never seen before. I felt like I was a ghost, somehow tethered to the ground beneath my feet and the night sky above me. I looked around the city, wondering if I could find some clues to my current whereabout.

People rushed by me, speaking English and I could tell from their accents that they were American. Why did I wake up in America? I'd never been to America in my life, so why of all of the places in the world was I here? I look up at the skyscrapers, trying to see if I could identify any of the buildings, knowing that I was certainly in a major city. 

More importantly, when did I wake up? 

I looked down at my clothes and didn't recognize them. I don't think that I had ever owned a dress or shoes like this before. The style was familiar, like I had seen it in a vintage magazine. I gaze at the people around me and for a moment I felt like I was an extra in an old movie. Even the cars driving across the street were different and certainly vintage. If I had to guess, I would say the 1940's. 

"Katerina," a familiar voice shouts from behind me and I quickly snap around, my heart fluttering when my eyes land on Barnes. I pause for a moment as I look him up and down, completely caught off guard by his appearance. He looked just like that photo that I had seen in his file. He was certainly handsome, there was something charming about seeing him so clean cut. There was a pureness and light that radiated from his smile and his eyes were free of pain and burden. 

He walks towards me and I in turn run into his arms, burying my head in his chest. I clung to him for a moment, savoring the familiar feeling of his skin against mine. "Hey," he whispers as he pulls away, looking at me with worry and anxiety, "you okay?"

 I smile as I cup his cheeks in my hands, my eyes beginning to water when I look into his eyes. Even though I had seen them a thousand times before, there was something different about looking into them now. They seemed to be brighter, full of a light and joy that I hadn't seen in them before. He was truly unburdened here, a free spirit. 

"Of course," I answer, still unable to take my eyes off of his face, "just trying to remember this." Even though I was touching him, I still wanted to pinch him, make sure that he was real, that this wasn't a dream. He felt real, I could feel the warmth of his skin, though he seemed warmer than I remembered. But it was certainly him, I had no doubt about that. 

"I'll only be gone a few months, doll, you won't even know I'm gone," he assures me as he places his hands over mine. It's then that I realize he's dressed in his old military uniform, like he had stepped directly out of the old picture I was shown. It was freshly pressed, no signs that the fabric had ever seen conflict. 

So this was before he went and fought in the war, before Hydra found him. My eyes quickly glance to his arm, my heart sinking in my chest as I realize what was going to happen to him. A tear falls onto my cheek as I look back at him, my heart sinking farther when I see the youth and optimism in his face. Would he still go if he knew what was waiting for him at the end? Did the Barnes that I met even remember this version of him? 

He gently brushes the tear off of my cheek as he steps closer to me. "Come here," he coos softly as he pulls me back into his arms, "I didn't know that this upset you this much." I sigh as I lay my head on his chest, listening to the sound of his heart and softly inhaling the familiar scent of his cologne. "I promise, Kat, you'll blink and I'll be back." 

"But what if you don't," I ask, knowing what was going to happen to him. What would have happened if he had stayed? We would have never met, I know that, and yet I still found myself wanting him to leave, just so that I had the opportunity to meet him. How selfish was I to wish all of that pain on him for the few months that I knew him.