Red Winter [Bucky Barnes]

Chapter Nine: Cup of Coffee

I groaned as the morning light poured into the room, and as if I had done it a thousand times before, I effortlessly rolled to my other side and right into Barnes' arms. As if on instinct, he sighs contently as he pulls me closer to his chest. I tried to ignore the flutter in my chest and I have to remind myself that this was a one time thing. The two of us just drank too much last night, that's all.

I take in the soft scent of his body wash one last time before I slowly pull out of his arms. Even though I was careful, his eyes quickly shoot open, and for a split second I thought I saw hurt in them. His hand flinches, as if he was going to pull me back into bed and I was half tempted to jump in and curl back into his arms.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you up," I apologize, not able to stand the silence between the two of us. "I was going to take a shower," I continue, thinking of a lie quickly, not wanting to tell him why I was so eager to get out of bed. I look to him, wondering if he was going to say something, but he just nods his head as he pulls the sheet back over him and I take that as my cue to leave.

I close the door slowly behind me as I walk towards the bathroom, my mind still telling me to hop back into Barnes' arms. I groan as I walk into the bathroom, trying to distract myself from my own thoughts. These kind of thoughts were dangerous and wildly inappropriate, no matter how much I wanted to act on them. We were mission partners, nothing else.

I turn on the shower before grabbing a clean towel from the cabinets. Thankfully old me had done laundry before she was shipped off to Siberia. I wish I could go back to those days, when I had the freedom to do what I wanted and the naivety to believe that nothing could go wrong.

I missed her.

The water was hot and most likely burning my skin, but it felt so good that I didn't care. For the first time in months, I felt like I was able to breath again, like the water was cleansing me of all my pent up stress and anger. I close my eyes as I stand under the stream, allowing myself to enjoy the feeling of the water against my skin.

As I begin to wash my body, I can't help but remember the feeling of Barnes' skin against mine. I could still feel his hand resting on the swell of my back before it slid up my spine as he pulled me up against his chest. The warmth of his breath and the way his lips felt brushing across my cheek. The way his arm wrapped around my waist, the shivers I felt running up my spine when the metal touched my bare skin.

"Fuck," I shout as I furiously splash my face with hot water, trying to snap myself out of this trance.

As if on cue, the door I had stupidly forgotten to lock opens. "You okay in there," Barnes asks, his voice still low and husky from waking up. I silently groan and roll my eyes as I poke my head out from behind the shower curtain. Barnes smiles softly as he leans up against the doorframe, his eyes glancing over me and I prayed that the very thin and very white shower curtain wasn't exposing me.

"Oh yah, I'm fine, I just cut myself while shaving and it stung," I lie, clutching onto the shower curtain a little tighter. He nods his head slowly, but I could tell from his eyes that he didn't believe me. I cough quietly as I awkwardly look around, "I think I might still have the stuff to make some coffee, do you think you could brew a pot?"

His smile grows to a smirk when I finally look back at him. "Sure, but I'm not sure why you need it, you certainly slept very well last night," he answers cooly before closing the door behind him as he walks out.

"Fucking hell," I whisper under my breath as I run my hands through my hair. This man was going to be the death of me. "It's fine, we're fine, I'm fine, it's nothing," I begin to ramble quietly as I begin to wash my body, scrubbing a little harder than usual, as if to scrub the traces of his skin off of me.