My story (ENG)

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Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all.

- Helen Keller 

Have I ever told you the story of how I got here? No? Well let me tell you. 

It was a dark night. My favorite kind. It was late and quiet. Even the crickets had called it a night already. I knew that tonight was the night. I had it all planned out. The only thing left was to follow the plan step by step. It was a simple plan, really, but it always is. The problem is that there is always a flaw that you overlooked. Something that when you look back at it, you want to know how you could be so stupid and not see it.

I was alone this time. My first time doing this without anybody backing me up. It was better that way. I was told that it was safer. Bullshit. It's all big talk for 'we just want to save money.' They don't care about you. They care about how good you are at what you do. But that is how it works. Every business does that no matter what. It's only about the money. I never really cared about the money. I just did it because I liked doing it. I was good at it too you know? People always tell you to follow your dreams. They say that when you find something that you're good at, you should pursue that and follow you destined path. They say this until you choose something that they don't like you doing. 

How I did it? That's a story for another time. But what I can tell you, is that I loved every second of doing it. I had all the different scenarios in my head. All the different outcomes were running in circles trough my mind. But in the moment, I didn't care. Not then, not now, and I never will. Because the feeling that you get out of it, it's really unique. Something that can never be described in words. You have to experience it. Otherwise you are missing out on something. It's truly magical. 

I was your age when I started. If you get the chance, you should try it yourself. I know it might sound crazy, but it really isn't. It isn't that big a deal really if you think about it. I mean, who cares? It's just a one time thing. You just have to pick the right place, time and moment. Don't push your luck. And who knows, maybe you get the feel for it like I did when I was the same age as you. Those good old days. You never know how much you will miss something until you can't get it back.

It seemed so normal at that time. Just my everyday life. Nothing special about it. I never really understood the whole fuss about it. But I never understood lots of things. Growing up, I was always a bit different. But that's okay. Doesn't matter now does it? It's not like I will ever see those people again. Even if I wanted to, I can't.

Now do I regret it? No. If I could go back and change the outcome, I would yeah. But I don't regret my actions. This is what I did. It is what I loved to do. I killed that man. And this time, I got caught. But there were so many that you don't even know of. And never will.

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