Short Stories

Shadows of the night (ENG)

Life is not a matter of holding good cards, but sometimes, playing a poor hand well.

- Jack London

I'm sitting here. In the rain. Alone. At least I think that I'm alone. The only thing I hear is the music blasting through my headphones. This is what I want. Nothing more. I have made peace with my decision. I have accepted my faith. There is nothing more I can do now anyway. I am enjoying the time I have left. You know. The usual stuff. Counting the flowers. Smelling every smell I can find. Looking at the bright colors of the nature and all of that on this beautiful spring evening. It's still light out but it is slowly getting more and more dark. I have no idea when it's going to be completely dark. I don't know when the singing birds turn into chirping crickets. I don't know when the flowers will close and call it a night. I don't know when this beautiful spring evening will come to an end and unleash its demons into the dark night. I don't know a lot. The only thing I am sure of, is that I don't have long.

It's kind of funny isn't it? How life can turn around. Your whole life you try your best to do everything right. But you make one mistake and it all can be gone just like that. You say something wrong at a party, and suddenly your friends don't pick up your calls anymore. You look at your phone while driving and a police officer stops you. You hang out with the wrong people and suddenly you're the target of someone you hoped you would never meet...

Kind of ironic though. I have never been fond of the night. Always hated it. As a kid I was terrified of the dark. I think it is because you can never know for sure that there isn't somebody hiding in that dark ally. You can never be sure what is lurking in the shadows of the night. The world just shuts down when the sun says goodbye. It is a scary place to be. Always has been. And always will be.

My mind starts to wonder. What whould have happend of I hadn't lost the money? What would have happened if I would have kept my promises. What would have happened if I would have been honest... I should have told the truth. I know he appreciates honesty. He knows that he can trust you if you tell him the truth. The punishment would have been a lot less bad. God, why didn't I tell him? Sometimes my own stupidity amazes me. How come I think of this now? And not in the moment itself. But it is too late. Can't change it now. Can't reverse what happened. I have made my bed and now I must lie in it.

As the shadows of the tall trees fall over the blades of grass and the birds' singing slowly fades away and turns into the chirping of the crickets, I notice the light receding. I am fully aware that every second brings me closer to the end. I am afraid. Terrified even. I am thinking of running. Getting up and sprinting away. Changing everything about me. And hoping that he will never find me. Why can't I do that? This waiting around is getting to me. I want to jump up and scream. Should I do it? I don't know. If he finds me, everything will be worse. I thought I had made peace with my decision. But turns out, I have not.

I stop to think for a moment. I pause my music. I have to think clearly. If I follow the stream, it will be hard to hear me. I can run into the woods and start a new life. But what kind of life would that be? Would I be terrified of being found? Probably. Would I have to change everything? Yes. Would I have to sacrifice everything? Most definitely. But I have to do that anyway. I have to try. I have to. I can still escape this mess.

I decide to run. I decide to try to escape. But just as I want to get up and start running. I see that shadow falling over my shoulder. That haunting shadow. It's him. I know that running now has no point. I sit back down. If I run now, everything will be so much worse.

I feel a tear slowly building up in the corner of my eye. I lost everything. I wish I had run. I wish I had come to my senses earlier. I wish he would have been just five minutes later... who knows how it would have turned out. Who knows what would have happened. Who knows... now no one will ever know. The last thing I hear is the click of a gun. It feels like an eternity before I feel it against my head. Seconds turn to minutes and minutes turn to hours. I have so much regret. I wish I had that peace that I had found within me again. It would have been so much better. The last thing I hear is a gunshot.

That was it. I think to myself. I sit there crying. It feels like hours before I realize, I am not dead. Not dead yet. I slowly turn around. I see him. Laying there. Not moving. I see flashing lights in the background. Cops. It doesn't take long for me to realize that this is my escape. This is my chance. I take his gun and start to run. Run until my legs hurt. Run until I fall down. I am going to start a new live. This is my second chance. Everything fades. The shadows in the woods are still as scary. But they look different now. They look more welcoming. Until this day, I just keep running. And running. And running...