Nerves (ENG)

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If you want to annoy a poet, explain his poetry.

- Nassim Nicholas Taleb

God I am nervous for this. I know that I am just sitting in my car but still. You know that feeling you have right before a big test or something? Yeah it is something like that. Only this is way more important. It feels weird that in a couple of minutes I will just walk in there. I just can't wrap my mind around it. It feels like a phantom.

Have you ever known that when you screw something up that that would be the end of it? That you plan something, and if you make even the slightest mistake, everything will go south? You probably have, I mean everybody has had experiences like that. But I mean for real. If I mess this up. That will be it for me. I won't be able to face my family and friends anymore. All my acquaintances will never look at me the same way.

I can feel all this worrying slowly getting to my head. I feel like a damsel in distress. To get my mind off things I reach out to the radio. "How about some music". My body comes to a grinding halt just seconds before I want to turn the volume up. I am so stupid. First rule was don't attract too much attention. Why can't I remember that? I start to bang my head against the steering wheel. The idiot that I am, I accidently press against the horn. I scream with horror. Why does this always happen? I find a way to ruin everything don't I?

While I'm asking myself how many people noticed me, I hear someone tap on my window. It's John. I open the car door. Before he even sits down, he says "What the hell, Abby? We weren't supposed to attract attention dude." "I know, I'm sorry. I don't think anybody noticed. We're good."

"How are you feeling? I know these things always make you kind of nervous." "I will be fine. It's just that there is something about this group. I don't know what it is, but I just don't trust them." "Yeah I know what you mean. But there is no backing out now it's way too late for that."

We sit there like that, for what feels like an eternity. Why is the beginning of these things always so boring? About half an hour later it's time to make a move. We look at the plan one last time.

"All right let's do it. Let's rob this bank."

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