Short Stories

Grateful (ENG)

Gratitude is when memory is stored in the heart an not in de mind

- Lionel Hampton

Watching as the waves go by, I think to myself how did I get this far. How did I manage to survive that. And why me. Was there a reason or was it just pure luck. If I had switched seats so that the person that was terrified could sit next to the window, would it have been me who would have died? I don't know. But I guess that is just the way of life. You get up everyday subconsciously knowing that it could be your last. And during the day, you make decisions. Decisions that may change your life. For example, if you decide to go left instead of right because you remembered that you had to pick up that birthday present for your kid, you might have avoided a deadly accident.

But that is how it works I guess. I didn't switch seats with the person next to me. They didn't want that. But when I looked into their eyes, I saw the way they looked. I recognized it immediately. Almost as if they knew what was going to happen. The fear, the pain, the agony. I had seen it once before and only once. And I hoped to never see it again.

As the wind is picking up I remember that day. How he slipped out of my arms. How I felt that he was struggling. How it got harder and harder to hold on. He was only 9 so he couldn't pull himself up. I wasn't strong enough to help him up. That was the moment that I decided to work out again. So that next time, I could help him up. I remeber him screaming, yelling for me. The way he screamed dad. The way he screamed my name. I still wake up with nightmares about it. It was absolutely gruesome. I could hear the fear in his voice as his hands were slipping from my grip. The way he said goodbye. The way he said I love you when he realised that this was the end for him. He was only nine. It should have been me. 

I guess that some things are just meant to happen. After he died, I changed my life. I got stronger, I made sure that everyone who was close to me, knew how much they meant to me. I lived my life to the fullest. And I have no regrets of it. Especially now. How I survived, I have no clue. I just know that I did and that is what counts. I stopped dwelling on the past and stopped worrying about the future. I only focus on the here and now. 

I have been here for about 5 weeks now and I am pretty sure that no one will come and safe me. After all with an accident like this, it is very unlikely that anyone will survive. I think that they have no idea where to start looking so they just leave it and declare everyone who was involved in the accident, dead. Otherwise they probably would have found me already.

Now, do I mind being here? This is going to sound weird but I am kind of starting to like it. It is so quiet and peaceful you know? No worries, no work, no one constantly on your nerves. I have survived 5 weeks here and I am doing fine on my own. Sure I miss my family and friends. But there is no way that I can change that. So I have made my peace with the fact that I am stuck on this island that I luckily stumbled upon when I was floating in the water. Without it, I would be dead.

I am grateful. Grateful for the life that I have lived. Grateful for my family and friends that I gained and lost troughout the years. For all the ups and downs that I had and survived. Grateful for my survival skills and luck. Grateful for not having any regrets.

 I am grateful for living.