lies

five|confession

[jennifer]

I'd been home for four days, and I'd had the best time. I slept well, I recovered some happier childhood memories, I reconnected with my Mom and some old friends who still lived in the area, I even ate more than usual, but something still didn't feel right. Mom and I were sitting in a diner when she asked me, "So how's it going with Emily?" I'd told her the whole story and about how I was confused with my feelings for her as well as everything else, and she had been so patient and supportive and understanding.

I put the menu down and started straightening the condiments. "Well, I haven't spoken to her since I left. I don't know what to say." "Maybe you could listen?" Mom suggested lightly. I sighed. "I know it was unfair for me to be angry at her, but I had all of this anger inside of me, and confusion, I guess. I was hurt that Hotch had let us all cry and grieve over her death when he knew all along that she wasn't dead and confused why the others weren't as shocked." "You know, you don't always get to have a second chance with someone like that. From what you've told me over the past few days, I'd say that she was something special." "You think?" Mom's eyes were twinkling. "Oh yes, Jen. I don't have to be a profiler to see that spark in your eye whenever you mention Emily's name." 

In the end, she was right. "I've been so dramatic." I resigned and wiped a fallen tear from my cheek. "I might have just spoiled the only chance I had with her, even if it was just as friends." "Oh, I wouldn't be so sure of that. I'm sure Emily would love to hear from you, Jen. And even better, to see you." She hinted. "You're just saying that because you want me out of the house." I joked. "You got me. No, I'm kidding. I'd love you to stay longer, you know that, but we both know that you belong in the BAU, saving lives and catching criminals. But since you mentioned it, can you stop straightening all of the picture frames in the house? Some just are meant to be crooked!" We burst out laughing and couldn't stop when the waitress came to take our order.

It was when we got home that I made up my mind. I packed up all of my stuff, went round the house one more time to check all of the pictures were straight, and then said goodbye to Mom. "Hey, don't be a stranger, alright? This house gets lonely sometimes." I squeezed her tightly and kissed her cheek. "Same goes for you, trains work both ways, remember." I added. "Alright, love, let me know how it goes." I waved as the taxi drove me to the train station. I was going back to Quantico, and I had one thing on my mind: Emily.

[emily]

Hotch delivered the news as we walked in for the briefing. "JJ called me, she's on her way back now as we speak. She'll join us in Des Moines as soon as she's here." He said. I would have been delighted with the news if I didn't have a secret that was bothering me. I smiled as I sat down, but I immediately worried about what had happened the other night. I was drunk and very much out of it, but it still happened.

The briefing was coming to an end when I heard those familiar footsteps, walking along the platform to the briefing room. "JJ!" Garcia was the first one to run to her and hug her. They almost toppled over, it was a beautiful sight. "Hey, guys. I'm sorry for being such a jerk." She apologised. She hugged everyone in turn and then her eyes turned to me. I didn't know what to do, I stood rooted to the spot. A million and one thoughts rushed through my head, was she still angry, was she sad, was she happy, did she want to be here, did she want to see me? 

She broke my chain of thoughts with a hug. "I am so sorry." She whispered in my ear as she put her arms around me. 

This time, it was me who broke down crying. I'd tried so hard to not disturb her whilst she was in Pennsylvania and now she was back, I couldn't believe she was giving me another chance. Not that I deserved it, though. Not anymore. 

"Hey, it's okay. I forgive you, and Hotch. I realised that it was what was best for you." She said, looking into my eyes. "I-I need to talk to you." I blurted out. I mean, why not get everything out of the way before we started patching things up? "Really? Oh, ok." She said and I followed her out of the room. 

We headed to her old office and closed the door and the blinds. "Emily, I said..." She began but this time I interrupted. I couldn't stop thinking about what I did and whether or not she'd be angry with me. "JJ, I'm so sorry, I did something really bad a couple of nights ago when you were in Pennsylvania and I didn't know if I should tell you this but it's been bothering me ever since it happened and I was so drunk and..." "Whoa, whoa, slow down." She laughed. She took my hands in hers, god it felt so good to feel her touch again. "Start from the beginning, Em." 

I took a few breaths and told her about Garcia inviting me for a drink and going to the bar. "I had like so many drinks, and it was past midnight when I left the bar. I was walking home and it was cold and I guess this person took pity on me because they pulled over and asked if I needed a ride. We got back to my apartment and I invited them in for a drink." I watched her face as I spoke. Her expression didn't change until I mentioned the last part. "I-I don't know how it happened, but we kissed. That was all, I swear, I passed out after that, but I just thought I should tell you." I said, not daring to look up.

I didn't have to worry, it seemed, because JJ burst out laughing. "Oh, Em, I've missed you so much. You were so worried that you kissed someone whilst drunk that you had to tell me, oh I love that." She placed her arm around me once more and I smiled. "So we're good?" "Yup, we're all good." She said and sealed the deal with a kiss on the forehead. "Now let's go, we've got a plane to catch. 

Oh it felt so good to have my best friend back.