lies

fifteen|new case

[jennifer]

My phone woke me up. "H-hello." I coughed on the phone, my throat was dry. "JJ, we've got a case." "Alright, I'll be there in half an hour." I checked the time, it was almost three in the afternoon. Stretching, I realise that I'd fallen asleep at my kitchen counter, cold coffee spread everywhere. A broken mug, when did that happen? Nursing a headache, I stood up slowly, avoiding the mug and edged out of the kitchen. I know I fought with Emily, and it was coming back to me in stages. I was upset, she was angry, things got out of hand. I think I threw the mug at a wall when she left. 

I quickly showered, not bothering to wait for the water to heat up all the way, and dashed out the door to drive to the BAU. I made it just in time and popped a couple of mints into my mouth before heading to the conference room. Everyone was there, and Emily didn't smile at me like usual. I brushed it off and took a seat between Morgan and Reid. 

"Okay my lovelies, I wish I was bringing you good news but unfortunately, there is a serial killer on the loose on the south Californian coast line and he's been operating in both San Diego and Los Angeles, working his way north. The bodies of five women have been found in the past two weeks, all strangled to death and left tied to their beds in their homes. No witnesses have come forward and the LAPD are stuck on leads." "Ligature or manual strangulation?" Morgan asked. "Manual. The guy's got to have some strength to do that." "Or rage." Emily added. I felt her eyes flicker over me and I kept looking at the file instead. "Any sexual assault?" "All but the first victim. She was beaten a few times but no rape. Second victim had some defensive wounds but she was raped, and so were the last three." "So the unsub's evolving, refining his MO." Rossi said. "We've got a long flight ahead of us. JJ, as LA has a lot of publicity due to the press, I'd like you to come to control the media if that's alright." Hotch said. "Yeah, of course." "Right, wheels up in thirty, then." 

I sighed and picked up my go bag. I wanted to talk to Emily badly, but I didn't know what to say. Everything I thought of just sounded wrong and I was scared of making the situation even worse. When I headed for the elevator, I saw her back as she waited with Reid and I just froze. There were so many things stuck in my head that I wanted to say but I just couldn't. 

I didn't hear Hotch come from behind. "JJ, I didn't get a chance to talk to you first." "Oh, Hotch, honestly it's fine, I'm fine." "I know, but just in case, you can stop at any time, you know that. We're all here for you and no one would blame you if..." "I know. Thank you, Aaron, that means a lot." I said. I steadied myself and followed him to the elevator where Emily and Reid had just been standing. 

The jet was all kinds of awkward. Morgan and Garcia were on the phone at the back but she talked so loudly we didn't need speaker to hear their flirting. Rossi was explaining one of his past weddings to Reid. Hotch was reading the files as he usually does, and Emily was just watching me. Well, she was reading, but I felt her eyes flick up every now and then. I put my phone down and nudged her arm. "Don't pretend like you're not watching me." I whispered. She rolled her eyes and put her book down. "JJ, I am not talking about this with you right now. Later." She muttered. "I just... I didn't mean to hurt you, okay? Can we at least just talk like friends, please?" She nodded and I saw her shoulders relax slightly. "Yeah, of course we can." 

It passed the time but it didn't fix anything. I still didn't really know what to say and Emily was just as passive. The others were focused on the case so they didn't notice anything, much to my relief. We were sat in the conference room in the LAPD station, discussing what to say on a press release when the phone rang. "Guys, we just got a 911 call, a woman claiming she was attacked at home by a guy who raped her but she managed to escape. Attacker fled the scene." One of the officers called out. "Get her address, let's go." Hotch ordered. The attacker was going to be long gone by the time we'd arrive, but we'd be able to process the scene at its freshest and the woman would need attending to.

Deborah Gladstone was shaking from head to toe on her front step, clutching a thick woollen blanket that had been draped around her shoulders. As soon as I saw her, my stomach did a backflip. She looked so scared and vulnerable, and the ambulance lights were flashing around her but she didn't move or seem to register our arrival. I swallowed hard and headed over to talk to her. 

"Hi, Deborah, my name's Jennifer, I'm with the FBI." I said softly. Her eyes were glistening and her forehead was wet with perspiration. "Can I get you something... maybe some water?" I didn't want to start asking her questions because she clearly wasn't ready for that, but I also didn't want to leave her alone, so I just sat beside her, every now and then stroking her back to comfort her. It was a few minutes, maybe five or ten, before she spoke. Her voice was cracking and it took a lot of effort for her to speak. "I-I got home f-from work early, I-I wasn't supposed to b-be in the h-house." She said. I signalled to someone close for water and they returned with a bottle. Deborah took it and drank half the bottle in one. "H-he was here before me. I felt his hands on my back as I walked into the front room. H-he pushed me inside and I-I tried to run, b-but he was too strong. He pushed me against a wall, s-said if I screamed that he would k-kill me. I-I didn't know what to do, so I let him take me upstairs. H-he und-dressed and then cut off my clothes. Pushed me onto the bed and...." She broke off in a fit of tears. I rested her head on my shoulder and felt her shaking as she cried. "It's okay, you're safe now. We're going to do everything we can to find out who did this, okay. I promise we will not stop until we catch them." I know it's only words, but I wanted to do everything to make Deborah feel safe and not alone.

[emily]

Reid and I finished looking around downstairs. "We probably won't find much down here, the unsub doesn't hang about." Reid said. I wasn't really paying attention. I glanced out the front window and saw Deborah with her head on JJ's shoulder. For a split second, I felt a touch of jealousy. I wished it was me. But that was unfair. Deborah had clearly been through a lot and she needed calming down. No doubt Hotch or Morgan would ask to do a cognitive when they're done.

"Emily..." Reid called my name. "Yes?" He put down the paper he was looking at. "Are you okay? You seem a bit distracted today." "Oh, just tired. I'll be fine, Reid, but thank you for asking." I said with a smile. " If you're sure..." He didn't seem convinced, but Hotch and Morgan came back from investigating the bedroom. "I don't think we'll get anything from the bedroom." "We need to talk to the victim." Morgan added.

"She's got a name, you know." JJ appeared out of nowhere. "Deborah. She never saw his face because he wore a mask, but she said he's white, taller than her, and he has a strong Southern accent." "And that's it?" Morgan asked. "That's not enough?"JJ replied in a tight voice before walking back out. Morgan looked confused. "What did I do?" "I'll talk to her." I said and followed her outside.

She was standing on the front lawn, watching the paramedics tend to Deborah. As I came to stand beside her, I swear I could feel her body tense up. "JJ, what's going on? I haven't seen this from you, why did you snap at Morgan?" "I didn't snap." She said a little too firmly. "Look, I get it if you don't want to talk to me, but you should talk to someone. What you wht through, what you survived, that's a trauma that you can't run from." I said. "Is that your professional opinion? That I need therapy? Because I don't, okay, I just want to find out who is doing this to these women, alright." There was no getting through to her. She had built her walls so high and I couldn't reach her. She left to ride in the ambulance to take Deborah to hospital. In my head, all I could think about were the words of comfort coming from her soft lips and wishing that I hadn't been so hard on her. The fighting and tension was my fault, I shouldn't have pushed her too far. If only there was a way to get her back.