The Way You Make Me Feel [ J.J ]

6.

TW; MENTIONS OF ROSALINE'S SUICIDE ATTEMPT

"For my favorite little sister? All the time in the world."

"Good, because it's a long story."

And I told him everything. I started from the beginning, from when Elle begged me to come partying with her on Sunday to the moment I woke up in JJ's bed this morning. I left out the dirty stuff, knowing Matt didn't want to hear anything about it, and he sat there with open ears the whole time, listening to me rant about my feelings. About how hurt I was over everything that had happened over the past 48 hours. About anything, really.

"And the worst part of it all, is that she's ten years older than me. Ten years Matt. How can I feel like she's the one I'm destined to be with if she's ten years my senior?"

"Firstly, breathe Y/N. You'll be okay."

"It doesn't feel like it."

"And what your feeling, those are just society's preconceived views of age gaps in relationships. You can't let that stop you from accepting how you truly feel about... Jennifer?"

"Yeah."

"Believe me, Y/N, you deserve to be happy. I know you don't think you do, but you do. I know it, your friends know it, even Kristy. And if Jennifer makes you happy, then it's okay."

"I'm scared, Matt. I'm scared because everything I'm feeling is so strong and I don't know what to do. I just- I'm so hurt right now."

"You're what?"

"Her sister called me a child yesterday. She just forgot to tell me her sister was coming. What kind of person does that? Forget to say her fucking sister is coming over. Her sister said, and this isn't accurate but she said something like 'she's basically a child' and I'm not going to lie, that hurt. It hurt really bad and I just... I don't know what to do anymore."

"You do know if she does hurt you-"

"You have to hurt her back I know. But it wasn't JJ... it was her sister." I paused, trying to collect my thoughts. "I'm so confused on what I'm feeling. I don't know what to do."

"Well, what are you really thinking right now?"

"That I really like her. I like her alot. More than I've liked anyone else, Matt. And I want things to work. But I don't know if they can. She's my teacher and-"

"I'm sorry, what?"

"I uh..." my eyes widened, realizing what I just said. "Don't be mad. Please don't be mad. I-"

"Mad? I- Y/N, I'm not mad."

"You're not?"

"No. Surprised, maybe. But not mad. I always knew you had a thing for older women, it was a matter of time before you found one of your own."

"But you're not mad? I'm literally stuck in the most unethical situation of my life, and you're not mad?"

"No? Y/N, I'm not one to judge who you're with. Or rather... not with but want to be with. I'll support you the whole way. I will admit, being in love with your teacher is a bad tightrope to be on, but I know you'll be smart about it."

"You're not like... ashamed or anything? I'm not gonna be shunned?"

"Well I can't speak for mom, but I know that I'm never going to make you leave my life because you're in love with older women. And Kristy is going to be super supportive too, she'll love having another woman in the house to talk to."