The Way You Make Me Feel [ J.J ]

7.

Waking up in bed with JJ the next morning was probably one of the best feelings I've ever had. She was curled up in my arms, one of her legs shoved in between mine so she could be as close as possible. I looked down to see her still sleeping, her face still kind of red and blotchy from the night before. She looked so peaceful, laying there in my arms, and I didn't want to wake her up but I had to pee and I was absolutely starving. Slowly but surely I made my way out of her arms, only pausing when she shifted a little bit, wrapping herself around the pillow that I placed where I was originally. I went pee and quietly padded out into the kitchen, looking around for anything I could use to make her breakfast. She deserved to be pampered today, and that's exactly what I was going to do.

Was it weird, considering that we weren't a proper item? Yes. Did I regret any of this? Absolutely not. Like we said the other day, whatever it was that we were doing... it felt right. More right than any other relationship I've ever had. I finally found the cabinet with all the baking stuff in it, pulling out the ingredients to make pancakes. Pancakes were a good comfort food- at least, they were my comfort food, so I figured it would be safe to make for JJ as well. I quietly rummaged around a bit before I found the pans, pulling one out and putting it on the stove for when I was ready to use it. As I started preparing the batter, I started thinking about everything I had gotten myself into this week. Matt's words from our call last night came back to me, and I bit my lip as I thought about it. Society did create some weird ass notions about age-gap relationships. I remember doing some research on it for a class last year- there's not much psychological difference from a regular relationship. From what I understood, the brain still made the happy love juice, despite the fact that their partner happened to be older than them. At least, that's how I explained it to Elle and Emily when I was going over my term project with them. I shouldn't let that stop me from being happy. If my brain was telling me JJ was being happy, then that's what I should do, right? I should be with her.

But, on the other hand, there were many ethical things wrong with this situation. If word got out, horrible things could happen to both of us. I couldn't let that happen to her. Not only that, but she would lose her job, her future, and possibly her family. I could lose my credibility to work at the FBI. We both could lose our dream jobs, and I would hate it if I was the reason for that. But at the same time... being with her, in her bed, in her arms- it felt right. Like I truly belonged there. The universe brought us together for some reason, and part of me wanted to believe it was fate. That part of me that was holding onto my fairytale dream of finding my prince or princess charming was finally becoming satisfied, even though it was happening in probably one of the weirdest ways possible.

I truly didn't know what to do.

The batter for the first pancake hit the pan, and I listened to it sizzle, the familiar sound being comforting, almost as if I were back home with Matt, Kristy, and the kids. I could practically feel them running around me, trying to see what I was doing. I smiled at one of the memories that flew through my mind, remembering it clear as day. It was one of the first trips home I took during my freshman year Thanksgiving break, and David was absolutely entranced by the fact that pancakes didn't come frozen.

"Y/N, what are you doing?" David poked his head around my waist, trying to see what was happening.

"I'm making pancakes."

"You make pancakes? You don't just microwave them like daddy does?"

I laughed. "No, silly goose. That's not the only way to make pancakes." I ruffled his hair a bit. "You can make them from scratch, or from the frozen kind."

"From scratch, like how momma makes the cookies sometimes?"

"Exactly like how momma makes the cookies sometimes."