✨Princeton + y/n imagines✨

Suicide note pt.1

"I can't take it....I've been through too much...this life isn't for me." I choked out numbly as a tear ran down my cheek. I was done...I'm done with all the judgement,the embarrassment, the lies, the abuse....I just can't anymore.

I see the blue and red lights flash from the outside of the window along with the loud sirens of the ambulance and more police cars. I guess its time to finish this nightmare once and for all...

I finally pick up my gun and plant the front of it to the side of my head.

My finger rested on the trigger seconds from ending my suffering, I closed my eyes and braced myself, until I heard a door swing open forcefully.

"Y/N NOO!" I heard a terrified and familiar voice scream out.

I opened my eyes to see him....Jacob....who just bursted through the front door with the most terrified and hurt look on his face.

We locked eyes. He looked as if he had just ran a million mile race.His eyes were red and puffy and he was so out of breath that I thought he was gonna pass out. Tears filled my eyes as his did the same.

"Y/n...please...please...don't do this...just put it down." he croaked. I stared at him with anger. Now he wants me to not do it after all I been through.When I needed him, he ignored me and went clubbing and cheated with models, he told me he didn't care when I told him that I was drugged and sexually abused by two of his friend at his own party, all the rumors spreaded and he never had my back. And he tells me not to do it...

"Now you say something....after all this time...YOU FUCKING SAY SOMETHING!... when I needed you, you said you didn't care, and now when I try and end my pain...you tell me to not do it and continue to suffer...you don't care...you never did...."

Suddenly I hear a loud voice on a speaker from outside."

I quickly took my gun from my head and pointed it towards Jacob as an instinct.

"MA'AM THIS IS CHEIF WATERSON FROM THE CALIFORNIA POLICE DEPARTMENT, MA'AM I GET YOU ARE GOING THROUGH SOMETHING SERIOUS RIGHT NOW, BUT WHAT WE NEED YOU TO DO IS JUST COME OUTSIDE."

I kept my gun pointed towards Jacob. He slowly put his arms up showing his hands. I let the anger inside of me bleed through my face like a bloody cloth it went silent.

"Look y/n.....I know there isn't much I can do ...as a matter a fact there's nothing I can do right now,but I-.....I'm sorry.... I'm sorry for everything i've ever said and done, and you have every right to hate me because I do right now, I let it get this far... this is my fault, if I were there to help this would have never happened. The truth is, I love you Y/N, more than anything...and I'm sorry I let this fame get to my head and lose you. Like you always said, actions speak way more than words and I know its gonna be hard to recover from this....but I'm willing to do whatever it takes to make this right."

I smirk at his dumb ass attempt from me not doing this. That smirk soon turned into laughter....hurt but humorous laughter.

"So you think a pitiful ass 'I love you' speech is gonna change this? You wait until all of this happens to say you love me? And let me guess, you always have but you've just been afraid to express and tell me, huh? After all the cheating, the arguing, the back stabbing, the sarcasm, and yet you still don't understand. Listen, life isn't one of your bullshit cliche movies, You can't just take it this far and wait this long to make something right...its too late....Jacob I love you..." I slowly pointed the gun to my head.

"But I can't take it."

My heartbeat slowed down, I could feel all the emotion, worries, heartbreak, and pain flow out of my body like a river. I let my last tear fall as I took my soon to be last breathe.

"NO!" Jacob runs toward me and tackles me to the ground pinning me down. My gun slides across the floor away from both of us. He tries to pin me down, but I kick him in his balls just in time before he succeeds in doing so. I headbutt him and push him off of me and try and crawl to get the gun. But he grabs my ankle and pulls me toward the ground. I try and crawl my way to get the gun which was so close to my grasp but it's useless compared to his strength pulling me away from it. He struggled to grab me and hold me so that I could stop crying, yelling, fighting, and screaming to get the gun...

"y/n stop!" He sits up and puts me in his lap holding my arms in place while hugging me so I could not move them. I see the gun and try to break free, but he kicks it across the room as far as he could. I tried my best to break lose from his grip but it was no use...

"NO DONT, LET ME GOOOOO! JUST DO IT,PLEASE! JUST GRAB IT AND PULL THE TRIGGER!" I screamed with all the tears and emotion as I could.

"Shhhhh its okay now y/n, I'm here, don't worry I got you now..." Jacob slowly and gently stroked my head in a calm fashion while walking back and fourth. He embraced me as if I was a newborn baby,his voice sounded like he was holding back as much as he could,but he was soon to break. He was trying to stay calm for me, but I felt like killing him and myself, I just screamed and yelled some more, letting out every tear I possibly had in my body.

"That's it....I-I its okay baby, I'm right here with you." Jacob hugged me tighter as I started moving more.

I wanted him dead. For all the pain he caused me, I wanted him gone. But somehow.....somehow.....I just buried my face into his chest and hugged him as tight as I could. I wanted him gone but I just couldn't do it. I wanted to shoot him in his face so many times that he'd look unrecognizable. But I knew I couldn't. I couldn't hurt him even if I wanted to. But why couldn't I? I've been wanting to do this for so long, but once I have the chance to.....I just couldn't do it.

*BOOM*

Then suddenly 4 me. dressed in all black swat suits bursted through the door taking it off its hinges.

Jacob jumps in shock and his grip loosens up on me. I slip out of his grasp and run to where the gun is. I grab it and point it towards all of them.

They all point their guns at me which makes me even more pissed off.

"MA'AM" one of them yells to get my attention. I point the gun towards him breathing heavily.

He puts his hands up and drops his gun slowly. Throwing his two fingers behind him causing the other three men to do the same.

"Ma'am I understand...you're going though something...something hard. And you're scared. Ma'am I know you wanna end you pain, I know it hurts, but this isn't the way to do it. Just lower the gun and we'll get you some help oka-

"YOU CANT HELP ME....YOURE LYING. MY UNCLES A COP AND HE TOLD ME THAT ALL YOURE GONNA DO IS PUT ME IN A MENTAL HOSPITAL. AND ILL RATHER BE DEAD THAN BE CALLED CRAZY." I said pointing it at the man in black.

"Well y/n they don't have to help you, I will...only if you trust me."

"FUCK YOU." I screamed with the gun shaking in my hands.

"y/n.....please." Jacob asks with tears flowing down his cheeks.

I looked at him with all the anger I had in my body. He looked as if he wasn't lying for once, all then men in swat suits had their guns down with their hands up...surrendering to me.The police siren lights outside were shining bright through the window along with the ambulance. I could hear faint crying outside and screaming of the words "don't do it" from random people.....what have I done....

"y/n....just...give me the gun." Jacob said slowly inching closer to me while staring into my eyes sincerely. My heartbeat slowed down, my hands were still shaking but were shaking less, my face turned from terrified to indecisive. I slowly put the gun down as he tracked closer to me. I was ready to give it up...give it ALL up.......but not yet.

** BANG, BANG**

I felt two sharp and deep stings in my stomach and chest as I fell to the ground.
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pt 2?😅
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