✨Princeton + y/n imagines✨

Suicide note pt.2 (long chapter)

A/N: listen to the song up top to set the mood of the story :)

The ringing in my ear grew louder than anything and everything around me. I heard screaming but it sounded muffled. I felt the warm blood spilling from inside my numb body...but for some reason I felt no pain. I felt not a single sting or the hot burn that people talk about after getting shot. Either it was from the adrenaline rush, or I was in too much pain already to feel it anymore. After a couple seconds, I felt something else besides my own blood that felt warm on my skin. Hands. But not just any hands, his hands.

From what I could see through my blurry vision, he was applying pressure to the gunshot over my chest. His mouth was moving as if he was screaming and he was crying harder than I've ever seen him cry. Jacob's mouth opened again. Muffled words came out again. Within seconds, one of the men that previously  stormed in my house in black swat suits was next to Jacob applying pressure to the second wound. I wanted to push him off of me and hurt him like how he hurt me but I physically could barely move. Seconds after that thought I felt a huge and now painful thump come from inside me and instantly, I couldn't take a breath. I couldn't breathe. Every breath I tried to take after the thump was more unbearably painful than the last.

I started to taste a copper-ish liquid in my mouth which obviously was blood. My eyes began getting extremely heavy and I felt like blacking out until I lastly saw the man dressed in all black take out a knife from one of his pockets. "I'm sorry about this." I heard him say before he stabbed the knife through my torso which hurt almost worse than the lung inside me which I knew by now was collapsed. But after he did so, I took a deep and long breath. It hurt to breath but I guess all they cared about was me breathing. They should've just let me drown in my own blood, so I wouldn't have to feel anything anymore. My vision slowly began to close in and everything was going black. The last thing I saw was 2 women and a man wearing scrubs, latex gloves, bursting through the front door and rolling in a stretcher before fainting.

It went silent and completely black. I couldn't feel anything. I couldn't feel physical pain, I couldn't feel the internal emotional pain, I couldn't feel sadness, I couldn't feel anger. I just couldn't feel anything for once. Then suddenly everything turned blue. Not just any color blue, it was the most beautiful blue I've ever seen. I looked around and realized I was in a field.... a field filled with blue and white flowers. White butterflies flew erratically everywhere and anywhere their minds desired. For the first time in a long time... I smiled. Not a smiled of sadness, not of anger or pity, but of true happiness. I laughed as one of the white butterflies landed on my nose and flew off once I saw it. The butterflies began to surround me to the point where I couldn't see anything but white which filled me with more unexplainable happiness. But after a few seconds of them circling me they stopped and then continued to randomly fly around the field. But once it was clear for me to see again there was now a white door in-front of me in the flower only filled field. It looked as if it didn't lead anywhere. But it surprisingly slowly started to open, and once it did, I saw my mother...who died a few months ago...sitting on marble and gold trimmed stairs wearing a all white sundress with gold accessories. If my heart could drop right now it would, but still I couldn't feel anything but happiness and couldn't feel anything else if I wanted to. She stood up and walked towards me with a huge smile on her face. She stopped infront of me and was half arm reach.

"M-......momma?" I said.

She grabbed both my hands. " If you're ready to give up and come home to me....this is your chance, y/n. You'll have this happen again if you choose not to, but it'll be a really long time before it does. You have a lot ahead if you sweetie, but I don't know if the road is hard or not, I know you're going through a lot as of right now and you wish you could be with me, but now that choice of staying with me as of right now and going back to your normal life all depends on you.... and before you choose I just want you to let you know one thing... you have to let go of some things... I know you've gone through hell these past months since I've been gone because I've been with you and by your side this entire time..."