I stumbled out of bed and she grabbed my hand, tugging me. "Come on, come on! You're going to miss it!"
I barely heard her. All I could hear was my own frantic heartbeat and one, single word.
No. NO.
This could not be happening to me. This could not be happening to HIM. What was he thinking? Was he insane? Why would he want to do this to me?
We ran through the empty house. Other than the humming of the refridgerator and the blasting tv, it was silent. I heard the screen door flying open, the wood of the porch on my bare feet, the grass as I nearly broke my neck running down the stairs to hit the lawn. I wrenched myself out of Franny's grip to back up slightly and burst out of my clothes.
Finally, sight.
How could they just leave me for one of the most important moments of my life? I followed the scents and took off, going as fast as I could.
The trees whipped past me, my fur blowing in the wind and my heart beating at a mile per minute.
Finally, I heard the growls and the snarls, the clawing and the slight whimpers.
I burst into the clearing.
Everyone was there. My parents, the alpha, the entire adult pack. They all had heard my approach, and they were ready. Before I could jump into the middle of the fight I was pinned down by a heavy body on top of mine, gripping my flank. I cried out--not in pain, but because they were stopping me from reaching *him*.
*Let me go!* I yelled in agony.
*Stand down, Malena.* The alpha ordered.
*NO!*
*Malena! You have to let him go!* He roared.
But I wasn't listening to him anymore. Instead, my eyes were locked on the fight.
I couldn't tell who was winning. They were both quick, and Cammie was jumping out of the way as Seth stalked her. They both looked eerily calm as well. Peyton, on the outside of the circle, was limp, his eyes shut.
*They had to drug him*, my mom said, following my eyes.
I didn't even want to speak to her.
Now that I narrowed my eyes, I could see that Seth was limping slightly. She-wolves were smaller and faster than male wolves, but the males were stronger. Seth had obviously been trained, but so had Cammie. She had been preparing to fight for the alpha position all of her life.
Was I a monster, for wanting Seth to win though? For choosing him, who I had barely known for three days, over my life-long best friend?
No. I wasn't. I wasn't because I should not have had to choose.
It wasn't fair.
It wasn't right.
The man who was forcing me to do so, he was the one who was a monster.
The alpha.
They were circling each ther now, Seth's side was bleeding heavily. Cammie, a smaller brown wolf, snarled at him. He lunged.
She ducked out of his reach, though one of his paws caught her muzzle and I saw her wince. She grabbed his leg in her mouth and swung her head with all of her strength.
He fell, letting out a loud whimper of pain.
It was killing me. I howled, loudly, causing him to turn his head and look me in the eyes.
He tried to get up, still looking at me, but stumbled. Cammie, meanwhile, was crawling up to him, her teeth pulled back in a snarl. She took his other, uninjured leg in her mouth and bit down.
A resounding crack went through the field.
I struggled as hard as I could, sobbing in my wolf form now, breaking inside. My walls were crumbling. I was going insane. I *needed* to go to him, now, before hit was too late.
Because I knew what was coming next.
He never took his eyes off of mine ashshe walked up to him, standing straight, despite her injured leg. Her fur was ruffled, covered in blood and spit and sweat.
Almost gently. she took his neck between her jaws.
*CAMMIE! STOP! PLEASE, PLEASE DON'T DO THIS! SOMEBODY STOP THIS!*"
"*I'm sorry, Lena.*" She said.
"*NO!*" I screamed.
The clearing fell silent.
I fought desperately to get free.
She bit down quickly.
We all listened to his heart stop beating.
They say, when you lose your mate, that your reason for living is gone. Disappears, in that second that you know that they're dead, and never going to hold you again. There is no purpose. It's as if someone has taken your heart and stabbed it, multiple times. As if someone has stolen your soul.
They let me go, after the pack doctor pronounced him dead.
I was numb. I couldn't see the faces, hear the howls of agony and victory that the pack howled.
I tried to get up, go to him, but my body crumbled.
Everything went black.
~*~
I can't actually tell you what happened after I woke up.
I can say it, but it won't have any meaning.
I didn't eat for a week after hi death. My mom tried to force feed me, but it just came righ back up.
Seth's funeral was a private event; he didn't really have anyone besides me, and he had died in a fight, meaning that he had lost his honor. The event was closed casket. After you die, you don't heal, you merely shift into your human form with all of your injuries.
He was buried in the same graveyard that Cammie's mom had been buried in. I couldn't make it through the first five minutes before I left.
My parents. I don't speak to them, and they are sad, but I don't care. I stayed in my room, came out to eat, use the bathroom, and shower when I felt like it.
My brother didn't understand, as hard as he tried, and I didn't try to help him. although he had nothing to do with Seth's death, I still couldn't open up my heart for him. It's funny; we used to be close.
I didn't try and avenge Seth's death, because I knew Seth wouldn't want me to, and I didn't want the pack. The transition after his death was quick. A month after that day, the alpha officially turned the pack over to Cammie.
I hate him. I hate him, and I loved him, and I HATE HIM for what he has made me.
I also hate the tiny little piece of my heart that is left. Why?
Because that small, itsy bitsy piece foolisly believes that he is still alive.
