TW: Mention of blades, depression and very heavy topics
If you are sensitive to this topic or to gore i would recommend you don't read this chapter. I will explain this chapter at the beginning of the next chapter without all the details and sensitive info :)
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If anyone reading this needs to talk to anyone, stay safe I love you <3
I have a warning for when this topic starts to be talked about so feel free to read the beginning if you'd like <3
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I woke up at around 6:38 am, oh god it was too early. I put in my air pods (flex) so I could listen to some music. Clay was next to me fast asleep still, he was so pretty. His snoring was loud and annoying tho. I soon was able to fall back asleep.
Next time I woke up it was around 11:50 am so I decided to get up. Clay was asleep still so I wanted to prank him. I went downstairs and grabbed some whipped cream and took some of patches fur out of her brush. I tried to spray the whipped cream on his palm as quickly as I could and then tickled his nose with patches fur. I was a genius.
"HAHA IM AWAKE DUMBASS" he throws the whipped cream at me. "YOU FOOL, I AM GOD, L L L L L" he got up from the bed and picked me up, he threw me onto the bed as hard as he could. Or so that's what it felt like.
"YOU BITCH, I THOUGHT I HAD YOU" now I had to take a shower, I didn't feel like getting wet (lul) but whipped cream was all in my hair. I grabbed two towels, one for my hair and one for my body, and headed to the bathroom.
I turned the knob to burning hot, I enjoyed hot showers a lot. They calmed me down.
After I washed the whipped cream out of my hair I decided it was a good day to shave my legs since I hadn't in a while and I packed a dress that I was exited to wear.
(This is the part that might be triggering to some people)
I was halfway done shaving my second leg when the razor slipped and sliced the side of my calf open.
"SHIT, NO NO NO, FUCK. SOMEONE COME HELP PLEASE!" I was yelling trying to get anyone's attention, it was oozing blood fairly quickly, the water on the floor of the shower was a bright shade of pink slowly getting darker the more I bled.
"IS ANYONE HOME, SHIT, I NEED HELP!" I was pretty sure I was gonna be okay but I didn't have a good past with blades already so I was starting to freak out. I started to hear someone banging on the door.
"Quin are you hurt? If so is it okay if I come in I'll cover my eyes." He sounded... calm? I mean I guess he hadn't seen the giant vertical cut on my leg yet.
"PLEASE COME IN, I DONT CARE IF YOU LOOK OR NOT PLEASE HELP" I was freaking out.
He barged in with his eyes closed reaching for a towel. He opened his eyes a bit just enough to find the shower knob and turn of the water. He passed me the white towel still covering his eyes to not be disrespectful.
I wrapped the towel around my body as a corner of it started shifting to a red colour.
"Clay I'm covered it's okay to look" I was crying from the pain of the cut, he immediately searched my body with his eyes trying to find out what had happened till they landed on the giant cut wound.
"HOLY SHIT QUIN WHAT DID YOU DO" he opened the cabinet and grabbed a towel and wrapped it around my leg to slow down the bleeding. "WHAT HAPPENED, ARE YOU OKAY?!" He sounded really concerned.
"i-it was an accident I- I promi- promise"
As he tightened the towel to help slow down the blood flow to the cut. He put a hand on my cheek to wipe away a tear that was starting to fall.
"Sorry that I freaked you out by yelling, I-" he was starting to tear up too, trying his hardest to hold them back "my first thought was you did that on purpose, I was worried, I'm sorry for yelling" he was trying to be calm but I could tell he was failing.
I knew why his first thought would be that I did this on purpose, I had worn short sleeves around him so I knew he had seen all of my scars before. I had a couple long vertical ones too so it was obviously I've tried to... yk before.
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When me and my mom moved I got really depressed, at the time I thought hurting myself was the only option. I thought I didn't have much to live for since I had just moved. I had no friends or family around me except my mom, who wasn't doing her best at first too. But she needed me more than I could've imagined. She did catch me trying to "un-alive" myself once before, she had just come home and heard me crying. I was in the kitchen, the floor was covered in blood, and a knife was on the counter.
I only ever tried once. I regret it more then I thought. Knowing I'd be stuck with these scars for most likely the rest of my life. Each one of them told a story tho.
My mom try's to tell me that a lot when I'm feeling insecure about them. I truly love her with all my heart, she's my best friend and I don't know what I would do without her.
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As the blood started the clear up I had realized how deep the cut actually was.
"Hey I think we should go to the hospital to get stitches or something, I'll go get your clothes you stay here". He left to get my clothes and I must've blacked out because next thing I knew, Clay was yelling at me to wake up, I was fully clothed and in the back of a speeding car on my way to the hospital.
"Shit, guys she's not waking up and idk what to do"
"Do your parents know what happened?" A mans voice said from his phone
"No, I didn't clean up either so the bathroom floor is all bloody."
"Dude call you mom and tell her what happened before she comes home to a literal murder scene" another mans voice says from Clays phone. This guy had a British accent tho.
"I'll tell the hospital to call them once we get there I-, wait I think she's awake be quiet" his phone went silent for a moment till one of the voices whispered "dude, is she doing okay..."
"Clay, wha- where a- slow down your going too fast" I could tell he was definitely going way over the speed limit, I didn't want him to get a ticket on our way to the fucking hospital. "Clay I'm okay slow down" I started to sit up.
"No, sit back down right now your hurt" I had totally forgotten there was a big cut on my leg. I layed back down and dozed off again.
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Chapter 4
Word count: 1,210
Sorry this was a heavy chapter, I promise later on chapters won't be this "detailed"
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Again, please call if you are feeling like this and need help. You matter and we need you here. I love you <3
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