ADJOURNMENT || benny watts x reader

chapter eight

"Sorry, I know it's late," Benny said, finally breaking the silence. You stayed stood by the door, not sure where to place yourself.

"It's okay. Did you need something?" You asked, faking confidence.

Benny only smiled, but you could see something brewing beneath his expression. He looked somewhere between bursting into tears and bursting into laughter. It scared you. You hadn't seen him this way before.

"You spoke about him today," He said, and now you knew why this conversation couldn't have waited until morning. "It just—took me by surprise."

You let out a huff, staring at the floor. "Wasn't just you," You spoke, feeling the tension in the room start to settle. "I don't know why, I just—,"

"It doesn't matter why," He interrupted, and you got the sense he was trying to slow himself down, as not to overwhelm you. "I'm just glad you did."

He stood up then, taking in a deep breath through his nostrils and staring at the lake. "Can I be honest with you for a second?" He asked, and the breath caught in your throat. You laughed awkwardly, feeling your cheeks blush from your rising adrenaline.

"I thought you were always honest with me,"

"I am," He said sternly, turning to face you. "But I mean, brutally honest."

You paused. "Of course."

"I'm going to ramble, so just—stop me. If I'm being too anything." You nodded, astounded that he was fighting against his words spilling onto the floor. You'd never seen Benny so worked up about something on his mind, especially when it came to something that he wanted to tell you.

"I feel like for your first three months here, I didn't actually know you. I knew your name and your family and their history—I knew your father—but every time I tried to place my finger on you, I'd end up with nothing." He placed a hand to his forehead, trying to make sense of his own thoughts. "It was infuriating, to say the least."

Infuriating. You didn't know he'd felt that way about you.

"I wanted to know you—the same way that I know a chessboard is eight squares by eight and the Queen can move anywhere. I still want to know you; it's like every day I find out something I wasn't aware of and end up kicking myself because I didn't see it before,"

Your lip began to quiver. "I'm sorry—,"

"No, don't be sorry—," He said quickly, stepping toward you with wide-eyes. "That's not what I wanted to get across; you don't owe me any apologies whatsoever. I'm trying to say that I—," He paused, his eyes glued to your own. His lip curled into a smile. "I'm glad I feel like I know you, now. Like you've opened up, or let me in, or something."

You finally understood that it was odd for Benny to speak so freely like this, to let his words flow. You could tell he struggled with it, with placing his feelings into any kind of sentence. It was something you understood well—

And it only made that warm feeling in your gut grow evermore strong.

"Benny—,"

"I'm sorry if that came out all wrong," He laughed to himself; you could tell he felt vulnerable.

"It's—,"

"God I probably sound like an entitled prick." You didn't know how else to react to such human behaviour, other than wrapping your arms around his neck. He stopped talking immediately, allowing your head to settle in the nook between his neck and shoulder. When he wrapped his arms around your torso you closed your eyes.