𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐉𝐄𝐂𝐓 𝐖𝐈𝐋𝐃𝐅𝐋𝐎𝐖𝐄𝐑⁰¹ʰᵉᵐᵐⁱⁿᵍˢ✓

⁷¹okay

clementine

With every vessel running about my body, every being I've been and will be, I wholeheartedly say that I hate this.

I keep checking back on my phone every hour to make sure Ollie hadn't called again or replied to any text I sent. I asked Maddie and Everett about him but neither have replied, though was decent enough to leave me on read.

I hate this. I feel like a kid excluded from a playground game, shoved away, and all I have circling my fretting head is that I want to go home. Like a kid, like a tantrum, I hate this.

I've said it too many times, perhaps thought it too many times, but I haven't felt anything so fervid in a long time, nothing that made my insides burn with the wrong kind of fire. But how consuming and time-wasting it must be of me to fully adopt and grow obsessed with the three words.

My pointer finger scratches viciously at the cuticle of my thumb, harsh and tearing my skin jagged. My leg can't stay in one single frozen spot, always rocking back and forth or bouncing up and down as my heel makes restless taps on the floor.

One, two, three, when will he call again?

Two, three, four, does he plan to call again?

Three, four — "You okay?"

Gentle as ever, Luke's voice chides in between my thoughts and myself; smiling softly, eyes showing the kind of sympathy you give to an over-anxious toddler.

He rests a hand on my jumping knee and stills it with light pressure.

Sighing, I give a small nod and look ahead at the small girl sitting across me, her doll-like blue eyes curiously staring at me. When she catches my eye, she looks away and returns her gaze to Nat, standing in front of the blackboard.

"Please, give a round of applause for Clementine, everyone!" Nat introduces me and gestures welcoming hands my way, a large, commercial smile donning her sharp features.

Her class gives a small applaud, the loudest small hands can manage, as I stand up and make my way to the front of the room. "Good morning, everyone," I greet, shaking away the previous storm in my mind. "I'm Clementine, I'm a —"

"Like the fruit?" A boy in a fireman costume interrupts, his arm raised, eyes wide in interest.

I nod. "Yes, like the fruit," The short answer seems to have satisfied him for the time being. "I'm a —"

"Is it your favourite fruit?" This time, it's a girl in a nurse outfit, dark, inquisitive eyes gaping up at me.

I might as well become a clementine instead of a painter. "Um... no,"

Nat lets out a soft chuckle, one I haven't heard from her before, though I'm assuming it's crafted specifically for her class. "Hey, now, let's let Clementine speak," She smiles at her kids. "If you have a question, don't forget to raise your hand,"

She directs her gaze at the fireman boy, earning a small giggle from him. "Please, continue. What were you saying?" She smiles at me.

It's a little jarring to see her be so... formal towards me, her tone more put together and presentable, which is nothing like the Nat who I know to be my neighbour.

I share a small glance at Luke, his encouraging smile making me want to shy away, ironically. Beside him, Ashton's giving a thumbs up.

Unfortunately, Michael and Calum couldn't come with since they already had plans, but I figured a drummer and guitarist can still work.