Killer Instincts An Innocence Lost

You need to leave now!

When DD and FBI finally felt that I was safe I went shopping for a birthday present for my mother-in-law. The secretary calls her monster in law. I drove the Audi to Brookfield Place but I found nothing she would like I drove to Macy's. Finally, I found something she would like. I ate lunch at Peter Luger's and trotted to the Audi feeling proud of my gift when someone grabbed me from behind. I was pinned to the wall and kissed roughly. Dimitri quickly stepped back as quickly as he assaulted me. He was so happy it was almost infectious, "It is you, Sarah. I knew it. My heart would never lie to me, you are alive. I knew it. I swear when I walked into our apartment and saw the pool of blood my whole world came crashing down. Every single night for the past six and a half years my mind would replay that moment when I walked in and saw that blood pool. My mind and my heart would torment me on how I was too late to save you. I wished I had listened to my partner and tried to spend more time fixing our marriage instead of trying to find that serial killer. You have no idea how many times they checked your DNA before I accepted that it was your blood, a piece of me died with each test. Trust me, you weren't the only one who died that day, you took my heart and soul with you. When I washed your blood off my clothes in the sink. I watched the last pieces of my life and sanity swirl down the drain with you. I did everything to find your killer, I left no stone unturned. I spend sleepless nights trying to find your body so I can bury have us both buried in the grave together. What? Did you think I was going to work while you were in a grave? No! I was planning to swallow a bullet the day I found you. I had no intentions to live while you decomposing in a grave. There are men in the force who visit their wives in the cemetery every day but I can't do that. They looked like they lived on Autopilot. I prefer you waiting for me in my bed than waiting for me in the grave. I was a walking corpse that was barely living a day at a time. I thought I would remain a hollowed-out husk but fate had other plans. Everything came back to me when I saw you at the party. You have no idea what came over me when I saw you alive. Fate decided to have mercy on me and gave me back my whole world. But that feeling was short-lived when you looked at me like I was a total stranger. To add insult to injury I watched as you walked away from me. It was nothing compared to what I felt when I saw you walk into the arms of another man. It tortured me to see you seek comfort in his arms. The other day when you laughed at his jokes I felt like you slapped me across the face. I wanted to kill him, God help me. I wished he was the dead body in the cold slab that I have been investigating. Believe me, that would be easier to tolerate than watching him walk away with you in his arms. Last week was the biggest heartache of my life when I saw you walk out of his bedroom. I knew he laid hands on you, I felt like I was thrown into a wood chipper. I had to watch you look at him the way you used to look at me"

I collected myself, "I am sorry detective but you have me confused with someone. My name Pamela, DD is my sweetheart. Ever since I met him I wanted to marry him. He is the only one for me." He shook with rage and screamed "YOU ARE MINE! YOU WILL ALWAYS BE MINE. DO YOU UNDERSTAND? I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S UP WITH YOU BUT I WILL FIND OUT. I WILL RECLAIM YOU ONE WAY OR THE OTHER. THAT SILK PURSE CAN GO PRANCING BACK TO THE FLASHING MODELS AND GOD KNOWS WHO, BUT HE WILL NEVER HAVE YOU AGAIN. I SWEAR I WILL LOCK YOU IN MY BEDROOM AND NEVER ALLOW ANYONE TO LAY THEIR GRIMY HANDS ON YOU AGAIN. YOU ARE MINE. DO YOU HEAR ME? YOU WERE BORN TO BE MY WIFE. DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME? YOUR MOTHER GAVE BIRTH TO YOU ONLY FOR ME. ME DIMITRI ANDROPOV! I WILL NOT SIT BACK AND WATCH YOU BECOME SOMEONE'S HAPPILY EVER AFTER. YOU ARE MINE! DO YOU HEAR ME? YOU ARE MINE! YOU WILL ONLY LOVE ME! I AM THE ONLY WHO CAN SEE YOU, LOVE YOU, GET TO HOLD YOU AND MAKE LOVE TO. I SWEAR TO GOD ONE OF THESE DAYS I WILL LOCK YOU IN MY ROOM AND BOARD THE DOORS SO ONLY I CAN LAY MY HANDS ON YOU. I MISS YOUR SWEET SCENT ON MY SKIN. I MISS THE FEELING OF YOUR BODY ENVELOPING MINE. I MISS WAKING UP TO YOU CUDDLED IN MY ARMS WITH YOUR HAIR HAS FALLEN OVER YOU NOSE AND MOUTH AND HOW IT RISES AND FALLS WITH EVERY BREATH YOU TAKE. I MISS THE DAYS I WOULD SPEND HOURS TALKING TO YOU ON THE PHONE. I MISS THE DAYS WHEN I WOULD BE GREETED WITH LOVING ARMS AND BEAUTIFUL SMILE. NOW WHEN I ENTER MY APARTMENT, MY HOME FEELS LIKE FOUR WALL WITH FURNITURE. IT FEEL EMPTY, THERE IS NO LIFE, NO COLOR, MY WORLD WAS ROBBED AND I WAS BUSY BEING A FOOL. NOW YOU ARE STANDING HERE IN FRONT OF ME. I WANT YOU BACK IN MY LIFE. I WANT THINGS THE WAY THEY WERE BEFORE YOU DISAPPEARED FROM MY LIFE. I WILL SHOOT ANYONE WHO DARES TO TAKE YOU FROM ME. YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW IT FELT WHEN I LOST YOU. IN MY WORST NIGHTMARES I COULD NEVER COME UP WITH THE WORDS TO EXPRESS MY PAIN. THESE FEW YEARS YOU WERE AWAY WAS THE WORST. I HAD THEM DRAG NETS ON THE RIVER FOR FIVE YEARS WITH NO LUCK. I CALLED THE COAST GUARD EVERY DAY ASKING IF THEY FOUND YOU BUT THEY FINALLY SAID SHARKS PROBABLY ATE YOU. NOTHING WAS EVER THE SAME AGAIN. I FELT COMFORT IN NOTHING, MY FOOD TASTED BLAND, THE COLD LOCKERS WHERE THE CORPSES ARE KEPT WERE MORE ENTICING THAN OUR BED, THERE WAS A VOID WHERE MY HEART USED TO EXIST. MY DREAMS WOULD BEGIN WITH MEMORIES OF THE DAYS WE SPENT TOGETHER AND THEN IT WOULD SHIFT QUICKLY TO THAT MOMENT I WALKED HOME TO SEE THAT NOTE WRITTEN WITH YOUR BLOOD TAPED TO THE FRONT DOOR. THE KILLER TAUNTING ME BY TAKING AWAY THE MOST PRECIOUS POSSESSION OF MINE. MY DREAMS, MY HEART, MY MIND, MY SOUL, EVERYTHING KEPT PUNISHING ME. THERE WAS NOTHING ANYONE COULD SAY OR DO THAT HELPED ME. I NEVER SAW ANYTHING THE SAME WAY AGAIN, EVERYWHERE I LOOK I SAW YOU OR A REMINDER OF YOU. YES, I HAD WOMEN THROW THEMSELVES AT ME BUT THEY HAD THE SAME PROBLEM. NONE OF WERE YOU. NO WOMAN I HAVE MET HAS EVER MADE ME FEEL EVEN AN ATOM'S WORTH OF WHAT YOU MAKE FEEL." I scoffed, "I think you are well looked after by the blonde officer. The two of you seem comfortable together. I thought she was your wife. You two look like husband and wife when I see you in the news" He got on his knees and pressed his face to my stomach as he wrapped his arms around my waist, "I AM HUMAN, I MADE A MISTAKE. PLEASE IT WAS JUST ONE NIGHT AND I WISH I COULD TAKE IT BACK. THERE IS NOTHING I WOULDN'T DO TO TURN BACK TIME. PLEASE COME BACK TO ME. I WILL DO ANYTHING YOU ASK. I WILL LEAVE THE FORCE, WE CAN GO WHEREVER YOU LIKE. JUST COME BACK TO ME. I WILL DO ANYTHING, BE ANYTHING TO HAVE YOU BACK IN MY LIFE. I WILL LAY DOWN MY LIFE IF THAT IS WHAT YOU WANT. TELL DIMKA WHAT HE SHOULD DO? TELL ME? JUST COME HOME. JUST COME HOME."

He lost his grip and slid to the floor and placed his hands on his knees and remained docile until it creeped even the monster freaked out. "Officer Andropov! I recommend you see a good therapist." He looked at me with bloodshot eyes that looked like they were about to melt. I slowly approached him as though he was about to combust spontaneously "Listen, sir. I am.." He tried to punch the wall. I didn't want him to hurt himself so I got in the way. His hands stopped short of my face. He looked at me with fear. I was about to answer him when my phone rang and I quickly walked towards the car and he followed me. He kept asking me when I would come back to our apartment. I ignored him and walked towards the car. I told Dan I was out shopping for his mother's birthday and I have the perfect present for both of us. I wished him a great day and reminded him of the charity event tonight and faced him. "I am sorry for your loss but I recommend you get a decent therapist." It was his turn to scoff me, "You hate therapist. You call them quacks without stethoscopes. The charity event is at the art gallery, isn't it? I will be there. I need to keep you from everyone who will try to take you away from me." I leaned over to kiss him. I ran my fingers through his hair. "I will be fine. Just take care of yourself. You need a shave and a change of clothes." He kissed each finger of mine with a smile. "I will be there. I can't lose you anymore. I need to be close to you." I gave him an invitation card. "Come as my guest. Not as a cop please." He took it and walked away.

I was at the party when he approached me with a frown. "We need to talk." So I excused myself and followed him to the small office at the end of the hall. His face told me everything. "You dusted the card for my fingerprint, didn't you? I guess I can tell you the truth now." He pinned me to the wall. "Yes, I did. You have a lot of explaining to do." I swallowed hard, "I was hanging out with Apple when I saw you having sex on the hood of a police car. I ran home to pack my things so I can stay with Alice for a few days to clear my head. I must have left the door open. I was busy packing when someone grabbed me from behind and pinned me to the ground. I felt a syringe on my arm. I screamed for you but you never came. I felt my body become numb. He tied my hands above my head then I was hung upside down on a tripod thing. He waved the scalpel at my face before he cut my arm. I watched helplessly knowing that you won't come bursting through the door. I saw my life flash before my eyes. When he realized who I was, he took our wedding picture and wrote that note with my blood. I wanted him to write my last will too. He taped it to the door and took me away. He blindfolded me and I was thrown in the trunk and I couldn't see where I was. He stitched the wound badly and he tried to touch me but he heard a noise. He went out to see who it was, Apple rescued me. I had hoped you would come but you never showed up. She took me to the clinic and stopped at the police station. Turns out my abductor was a cop. We both agreed it was best to disappear. You were moving on with your life. This dirty cop is going to get away and he will come after me again. I left for New Orleans. I resumed my birth name, Pamela. I met my old college friend Dan and he promised to keep me safe. We started catching up on old times when suddenly we got married. Trust me I had no intentions to get married. Your infidelity destroyed any faith in mankind. Dan understood my predicament. He has seen how I was in previous relationships so he earned his place in my heart."

He was close to tears. "Tell me his name." I tried to dissuade him, he wouldn't budge. "His name is Edward Finch. He works on the second floor of your building." He went livid and punched the wall and started swearing rapidly in Russian. He kissed me and promised me he will spend the rest of his life making up for what he did. He stormed out of the party with his brother.