richpez for mae

finale

before I begin, I've got to wish happy birthday to the girl who this story is for!! I'm very grateful for you and I would never have even published this story if it wasn't for you wanting to read so thank you Mae and happy birthday! happy reading everyone for the final chapter!

Seeing Lauren, albeit briefly, made Joey feel so conflicted for the rest of his day. He was again taking his time to really assess his situation with Lauren because as much as he did really like her, she had hurt him, again, and he felt like he just needed a bit of a break.

He felt so sure in himself that he wanted time away from her, but seeing Lauren again through the glass made all his feelings come back in a heartbeat, and watching her looking at him as he looked back made his heart ache. He inevitably had train and when he looked back towards the window she was gone, but the brown haired girl had been on his mind ever since.

As it was the weekend and it was Valentines Day, Joey had nothing else planned, the rest of his friends spending their day with their partners. After training, Joey headed to grab some food before making his way back to his day in his dorm. Joey made a conscious effort to try and not to look at his phone to watch everyone post about their partners on Valentines day, knowing it was going to be about how much they loved one another when he was sat alone and sad in his room. There was a simple solution to fix his sadness. He could just go and speak to her. But the thought of seeing her made butterflies fill his stomach and he was too nervous that they might be over for good.

As much as he tried to not concentrate on her and the feelings he was feeling, trying to do some schoolwork instead, Lauren still managed to make her way into his brain. 

Of course she did. 

He missed her, and after seeing her a few hours prior bundled up in layers of clothes in the cold building corridor, it was extremely difficult to think of anything else. She looked tired and miserable, a mirror of what he too was feeling, and he noticed the gash that was still sat on the side of her head. He felt his heart ache when the tear left her eye and rolled down her cheek as they stood looking at each other through the glass. She was quick to wipe it away and look as if it never happened, but he saw, and having to turn away from her to start his training made his chest tight, knowing when he was to look back she would be gone.

He thought back to the messages that she sent to him the day after it happened, apologising profusely and feeling 'incredibly guilty about the whole situation.' Not replying to her messages took a lot of strength from him as he was incredibly willing to give her another chance without thought. He even typed out a whole paragraph about how he was sorry about everything he had done on his part and that she had no need to apologise, saying it was his fault and he would take her back. But as he stared at the bright screen with the message ready to send, he stopped and put his phone down, exhaling before holding his finger on the delete button and getting rid of any proof that he was going to text her back.

Ignoring Lauren wasn't something he ever wanted to do, and the fact that he had to do it on multiple occasions wasn't ideal. 

The afternoon of doing schoolwork turned to evening as he sat at his desk in a daydream, not really concentrating on his work anymore as his loud and chaotic mind ran wild. His positive and negative thoughts were battling it out and growing in his brain, most being about Lauren.

He briefly thought about moving on to forget about her, the thought being extremely brief as he knew he could never do that, so instead, he thought about all the ways he could possibly speak to her again. Every scenario, every location, every time was different, wanting to think about it instead of executing it. Because deep down he was scared. So scared that they were truly over and there would be nothing he could do to stop her. He thought about seeing her with other people, not thinking the same about himself because nobody could even compare to her, and in that moment, he realised he needed her back. Like a lightbulb moment in his head, he couldn't and wouldn't think of a life without her, and if she was willing to make it work, so was he.