One Shots - TH - HO

•Just Like Me•

One month.
It has been one month since you lost your twin brother, who was quite literally the most important person in your life. The world either blesses us, or curses us. You can't seem to figure out which one you are- blessed, or cursed. Blessed because you were given the opportunity to know him and to love him, or cursed because he was ripped away from this earth all too soon.
Either way, right now all you can feel is numb. Numb to the pain that had you bed ridden for the past four weeks. The pillows you once rested on now covered in dried up tears, and the room across the hall quieter than ever. Nothing seems to matter anymore, how could it? You lost the other half of you.
You barely pull yourself together, putting on something other than pajama pants for the first time since the funeral. Your mum has insisted that you go to a support group. Some dumb shit about how 'it will help you cope' when in reality there is no coping with this. There is no getting past this. It hurts that she even wants you to..
"Y/N are you ready honey?" You hear your mum call from outside the door.
"Let's just get this over with." You mutter, opening the door and walking straight past her.
The drive to the support group is silent, mostly because you're pissed that your mum is forcing you to do this. How is listening to everyone talking about their dead relatives supposed to help?
"I think you're going to find it comforting." She finally speaks up as she pulls the car up to the building.
You get out without a word, and shut the door behind you. As the car drives off, you dig through your bag, finding the shot sized bottle of tequila, taking a drink. The only thing that's been getting you through this last month is the help of getting blackout drunk and passing out. You never drank before, but all rules were thrown out when your life was turned upside down.
"Smart girl." You hear, and your head lifts to see a smiling brunette. "But I think you'll need a little more than that to get through this hour of pure torture."
You look the boy up and down, taking another drink of the liquid before stuffing it back in your bag.
"I'm Tom." He introduces himself.
"Yeah okay." You mutter, and walk past him into the building. It's the typical therapy setting. Plants, couches, and a bunch of people who look like they haven't showered in days. Wonderful.
Nervously taking a seat, you keep your head down and eyes trained on the floor, desperate to remain invisible.
"I'm gonna give you the benefit of the doubt."
You once again are met by the brunette boy who sits next to you, giving you a cheery grin.
"I think you're nice, you just gotta warm up to people."
You let out a small laugh, shaking your head.
"You're far too cheery to be at a support group." You say.
"Everyone needs support, even those of us who aren't are dark and twisty like you." He comments.
"What makes you think I'm dark and twisty?" You question.
"Wild guess." He shrugs.
"Tom, I see you've welcomed our new member." An older woman smiles.
She has blonde hair, and caring eyes. She's exactly who I pictured to be running something like this.
"I am Helen." She introduces herself.
"Y/N" you say.
"Oh so she does have a name!" Tom exclaims and Helen laughs.
"Excuse Tom, he's been coming for three years so he thinks he can act any way he wants." She explains.
Why would anyone want to come here every week for three years straight? Who would even need a support group for that long. He seems fine, he seems like not a thing is wrong. That's really odd that he would voluntarily put himself through this weekly torture.
"Let's get started everyone." Helen calls.
Everyone gathers around the circle, sitting down in the empty seats. Tom stays sitting at your side, and you scoot over slightly, creating more distance.
"I hope everyone had an easy week." Helen starts. "We have a new face here tonight. Y/N, maybe you'd like to start us off?"
To put it nicely, you'd rather gouge your eyes out with scissors than share with these people.
Just as you're about to mutter out an excuse for not sharing, Tom stands to his feet.
"I'd actually like to share.." he says, looking to you with a small smile.
You mouth a 'thank you' and he turns his attention to the group.
"Most of you know me.. I'm Tom.." he starts. "Three years ago I lost my twin brothers to suicide."
Oh my god.. just the thought alone of loosing not one, but two brothers to suicide makes your stomach turn. Now the fact that he's been coming for three years doesn't surprise you at all.
"When I lost Harry and Sam I uh, I didn't think I'd ever recover. I made my biggest step a couple weeks ago though. Managed to celebrate their birthday without crying which was a huge accomplishment so.. yeah. That's all."
Tom sits back down, and your eyes connect with his, but this time he avoids your gaze a bit more.
Tom wanted to help take the attention off of you, but now he feels like you pity him. That's the last thing he wants.
Everyone else continues sharing, and you sit silently and listen. You hate to admit it, but hearing everyone else's stories and knowing that others are going through it too does help in a way. It doesn't lessen your pain, but it does help you realize you're not alone, as cringey as that may sound.
Slowly, the meeting comes to an end, and everyone's faces turn into a smile as they chat with each other about less gloomy things. How do they manage to spend an hour talking about their dead family members and then just move on like it was nothing?
"So Y/N, tell me, when was the last time you got out of the house and saw some friends?" Tom asks you.
Normally you'd be put off by such an invasive question, but it really got you thinking. Not just about the fact that you haven't seen any friends since before the funeral, but also that they haven't even really tried to reach out to you. What kind of friends don't reach out during a time like this?
"Not for a while." You answer honestly.
As Toms eyes glance over you, he knows exactly what he has to do. It's pitiful really.. you are just the same as he was when he first started coming here.
"Well, seeing as you feel pretty uncomfortable here, maybe you'd want to come hang out with me and get a break from all of this." He offers.
You can tell Tom is just a really sweet guy with a heart of gold. You really don't want to hang out with anyone, but even in your broken state, you know when it's time to do something productive and healthy. Maybe being around a completely new person for an hour or two would be nice..
"Yeah ok." You nod.
He almost looks confused, as if he really wasn't expecting you to say yes.
"Oh okay! G-great!" He stutters nervously.
This guy is weird.
You follow Tom out of the building, texting your mum that you will be home later which you know will make her happy.
"How do you feel about motorcycles?" He asks.
"I don't necessarily have an opinion." You shrug.
"Well that's good because.." he trails off as you walk up to a black motorcycle, and he holds out a dark blue helmet to you.
"Sick." You say with amusement, which makes him smile.
He places the helmet over your head, and makes sure it's secure before putting his own on.
"Ever ridden on one before?" He asks.
"Never." You shake your head.
"Well once you do, you'll never want to stop." He says.
He sits on the motorcycle, and you get on behind him. His hands reach back, grabbing your arms and pulling them around his torso.
"Hold on tight." He says.
He revs the bike, spiking your adrenaline. Ok this is just a little bit terrifying but maybe it's exactly what you need to be able to escape reality for a bit.
Tom drives the motorcycle out onto the road full speed, and you can't help but smile at how freeing it feels to be in this moment. To be on the back of some strangers bike and not care about anything.
He drives you down a twisty road, making you giggle for the first time in what feels like centuries. You didn't expect to feel that spark again, the spark that makes you see that life is worth it, but looking out at the scenery as Tom drives a tad bit too fast down the road makes you embrace that right now, life is pretty damn good.
The bike slowly comes to a stop and you pull your helmet off to see the beauty of where you are. Trees fill the area, orange and brown leaves fallen on the ground. It's a beautiful sight. You almost forgot it was your favorite season, fall. Mostly because you've barely managed to get out of bed let alone go out and embrace nature.
"Have to say, I'm a little creeped out that some strange guy brought me to the middle of nowhere." You say.
"Strange? What makes me strange?" He questions.
"You took a random girl that you don't know to the middle of nowhere.. it's a bit strange."
"Well.. you seemed like you could use a friend." He gives a small smile, and holds out his hand.
You take it hesitantly, and soon you're led down a trail, leaves crunching beneath your shoes. The fresh air feels nice, comforting almost.
"So is this where you give me the it's okay to talk about your feelings talk?" You ask.
"Not at all." He shakes his head.
Well that's a surprise.
"Talking about it sucks. It took me a year before I started sharing my story in group." He explains. "Some people just need a little longer, and that's okay."
You get to this broken down wooden dock that doesn't seem quite safe to walk on but Tom leads you straight onto it anyways. The lake is gorgeous and silent, and you both sit at the edge of the dock, letting your feet hang off the edge.
"How did you find this place?" You ask.
"A very drunken night with my brothers actually." He laughs. "They were a lot more adventurous than me.. taken up on the adventurous side of life ever since."
"Can I ask.." you trail off.
"Anything you'd like." He encourages.
"Well, you said both of them." You state. "How in the world are you so... okay."
You genuinely can't understand how he seems back to normal. It feels like life will never be normal again..
"Well, when Sam killed himself.. my family and I were mostly in shock the first few days, we didn't even realize how bad it had gotten to Harrys head. They were inseparable and that's inevitably what made Harry take his life too. I think the only thing that makes it bearable now is knowing that the twins are together. We lost them but.. I know that whatever is beyond death, wherever that is, they are together." 
He looks into your eyes with concern, and his thumb grazes across your cheek.
"Are you crying love?" He asks.
"Oh shit I'm sorry.." you mutter.
You wipe the tears from your face, trying to stuff it all back in. It's been a week since you cried, and it's all trying to come out now.
"Did I say something wrong?"
"No it's not that." You shake your head. "It's just that.. your story. It kind of hits home for me."
"In what way?" He questions.
"The person I lost, he was my twin brother."
You watch as his face falls, not expecting your story to be so similar. You know exactly how Harry felt, loosing someone who was by your side since you entered the earth and suddenly being alone is the scariest, loneliest feeling in the world.
"Loosing your twin.. it's a pain like no other." You admit.
"How did it happen?" He asks quietly.
"Brain aneurysm.. one second he was there and the next he was gone. It's been a month but it still feels like it was yesterday.. god sometimes I just wish I could forget it even happened as terrible as it sounds."
"It doesn't sound terrible." He shakes his head.
"Really?" You asks.
"And I may have just the way to help you out with that.."
"What do you have in mind?" You ask.
-
This is a bad idea. This is probably the worst idea you've ever had in your life. Going to a party with a boy you met in support group only a month after loosing your brother? Dumb. Just dumb.
"This isn't going to work.." you mutter to yourself as you look in the mirror.
Getting dressed at all lately has been a challenge, but getting dressed up for a party? Close to impossible.
This fucking dress looks stupid, but you honestly couldn't be bothered to change it. Who cares anyways? Not like you'll be finding some random hot guy to sleep with.
You walk down the stairs, and your eyes double in size when you see Tom is already here, sitting in the main room chatting with your mum.
"When did you get here?" You ask, drawing their attention to you.
"About ten minuets ago." He answers.
"Oh god.. let's go." You mutter.
"It was lovely chatting with you." He says to your mum as you practically drag him out of the house.
He laughs at your actions, grabbing your hand as you reach his motorcycle and twirling you around.
"Stunning." He comments.
"Thanks." You smile, taking the helmet and putting it on your head.
You guys take the cold windy ride to the house where the party is at, and already you start to liven up.
"It's just my mate Haz's party, everyone's cool." He says as you walk through the door.
It's not as packed as you thought it would be, which is actually quite nice. It's a good first step to getting back into the real world.
"Hey guys!"
You see a blue eyed boy approach you, and for some odd reason you cower at Toms side. Maybe you weren't ready for socialization yet. Something about Tom just feels so safe, maybe it's the fact that he's gone through the same thing as you, but he just doesn't make you nervous like everyone else does.
Tom takes notice of your nervous state, and wraps his arm around your waist protectively, making your nerves calm down.
"This is Y/N. She will definitely loosen up after a shot or two." Tom says.
"Right this way Y/N." Haz smiles.
You link your arm with Toms as you walk through the crowd, and he leans closely to whisper in your ear.
"We can leave whenever you want." He says.
You get to the kitchen, and Tom grabs two solo cups and the tequila. Haz pours his own drink, and you look him up and down, trying to get a feel of who he is as a person. He must be nice if he's friends with Tom. Tom is one of the nicest people you've ever met.
"Tonight's your night so, drink away." Tom says, handing you the cup with the strong mixture inside.
"Well.. here we go." You say, and chug it down, leaving the boys speechless.
"Who is this girl?" Haz asks.
"Pretty amazing isn't she?" Tom grins, and drinks his drink.
The night goes on, and you got a little bit drunk which definitely helped to loosen you up and get you actually having fun. You dance around with Tom, giggling as he twirls you around and over dramatically swings your arms. You can't even be bothered to worry about how dumb you probably look because it's just too much fun with him.
"Come with me." He says, and leads you away from the crowded room down a hallway.
He pulls you into a bedroom, and shuts the door which minimizes the sound of the music.
"I needed this." You state honestly. "It feels so good to just be out of my head for a while. I've been close to useless for weeks."
You sit back on the bed, and Tom sits next to you. He looks over your face with adoration, he thinks you're the most beautiful girl he's ever laid eyes on, something about you just makes him all nervous and giddy. He hasn't felt that way in a while.
"Come on, give yourself some credit. You're doing better than I was. I probably slept with fifteen girls the first week, it was my coping mechanism." He laughs.
"Believe me, I'd be doing the same thing if boys were into me.." you awkwardly laugh.
Tom can't really believe what he's hearing.. he looks you up and down with complete confusion. You're gorgeous, at least to him you are, how could guys possibly not like you?
"You're messing with me right?" He asks.
"Sadly no." You shake your head.
He reaches his hand up, pushing your hair behind your head and letting his fingers trail down your cheek softly.
"Well.. if um- if you wanted to.." he stutters, struggling to get his words out.
You simply look at him, knowing exactly what he's suggesting but just waiting for him to finish his sentence. It's cute how he is so kind and open, then suddenly gets so nervous.
"Can I kiss you?" He asks quietly.
"Yeah." You smile.
Toms hand moves to your neck, pulling you in for a kiss. His lips move against yours softly and sweetly, a way you have never been kissed before in your life.
His hands grab your waist, pulling you to straddle his lap. Your fingers brush through his hair and grip slightly at the back of his head. You feel so safe with him. Even not knowing him for more than a day, you still feel like you know him. You trust him.
His lips trail down your jawline, his teeth nipping at your skin. Your head draws back, and a small whimper leaves your lips as you move your hips against his.
"Do you want more?" He asks before moving on.
You nod, and he softly grabs your chin, making you look at him.
"I need verbal consent." He says and butterflies erupt in your stomach.
"Yes Tom." You nod, kissing his lips again.
His hands glide up the top of your thighs, slipping under the hem of your dress. He pulls it up and off of your body, tossing it aside.
He flips you over onto the bed, hovering over your body. Your heart beats rapidly, in a good way. This has been needed for a while now.
"Relax pretty girl." He coos, drawing his finger down your torso.
His lips move down to your stomach, kissing down to your hips. His hands push your knees apart, and he trails his kisses along the inside of your thighs.
You're not sure what you were expecting, but it wasn't the softness and gentle touch that he has. You absolutely love it, it gives you butterflies.
Tom rises up to pull off his shirt, and you can't help but look at him wide eyed. Who knew he was hiding all of that under his shirt?! He's like a Greek god or something holy fuck..
"My eyes are up here sweetheart." He giggles.
"Sorry it's just- you're just-" you're now the one stuttering.
Tom looks at you with adoration, he really couldn't care less if you gawk over him, he just finds it really amusing that you got so nervous.
He smiles down at you, pecking your lips quickly before moving his hand down to touch you, moving his fingers in slow circles. Your lip catches between your teeth, not having felt this kind of touch in a long time. Tom actually knows what he's doing. Most guys are too rough or don't know how to move, but Tom? He's perfect.
He kisses your shoulder, taking off your panties and slides one finger inside, slowly moving in and out as his thumb continues to work circles on you. A quiet moan leaves your lips, and your hips start to move against him, needing more. He take the cue, and adds two more fingers, stretching you even more.
"God dammit Tom." You whine.
"My name sounds so good coming out of your mouth." He says.
Your fingers move over his defined abs, then fumbling with his pants to get them undone. You've never felt so needy for anyone in your life. His presence completely consumes you.
He kicks his pants off, and pulls his fingers from you, leaving you feeling empty.
"Please.." you say.
He loves the sound of you begging.
He reaches over to the bed side table, grabbing a condom from the drawer. He uses his teeth to rip it open, and your fingers curl around the waistband of his boxers to pull them off. His dick springs up, making you smile excitedly. You knew it was going to be big.
He rolls the condom onto his dick, and instantly connects his lips to yours again, making you lay back down.
"You want this? We can stop if you want." He double checks, and it warms your heart. He genuinely cares.
"Yes, please.. I want it." You breathe out.
He gets a smirk on his face, loving how you talk to him.
He lines himself up with your entrance, and slowly pushes himself into you. The feeling of him filling you up makes you moan. God he feels so good.. he fits in you perfectly.
Tom groans in pleasure at how you feel around him, moving faster which causes the sound of your hips colliding to fill the room. He can't even be bothered to worry about the party happening just down the hallway, he's too caught up in the beauty that is your body, having it all to himself.
"Feel so good around me darling." He grunts.
His lips connect to yours, and his thumb grazes across your cheek. "So fucking good.."
you moan into his mouth, and that only encourages him, making him move to suck on your neck. There will definitely be marks in the morning.
The knot forms in your stomach, and you're legs start to quiver, desperate for release. Tom kisses the corner of your mouth, and reaches his fingers down to move in a circular motion against your clit as he slams his hips into yours, working you closer and closer to the edge.
"Do you want to come pretty girl?" He hums in your ear.
"So bad.." you whine.
"Do it, let go for me." He encourages, and you're quickly taken over by your orgasm, soft cries leaving your lips and he kisses you to muffle the sound. Your whole body shakes beneath him, feeling a high you've never felt before. You squeeze around him, and he lets out a grunt, his head falling and his lip catching between his teeth. His thrusts start to get sloppy and uneven, so you buck you hips up to help him ride it out.
"Fuck Y/N" he mutters, his hips stilling and his dick sitting inside you.
His brown eyes meet yours as he comes down, and you can't even begin to express how good he looks post orgasm. Then to know you're the one who made him that way? Even better.
He pulls out of you, and discards the condom before laying at your side. Just as you're about to give the 'it's been nice' speech and get up from the bed, his arm wraps around you, pulling you into his embrace. It takes you by surprise, you've never been touched like this before.. especially not after a hookup.
You both just look into each other's eyes, and his fingers stroke up and down your side.
"Thank you for that beautiful girl." He coos, making your stomach turn in a good way.
You woke up this morning in a dim light, dreading the events of today. You woke up wanting to stay in bed and never leave. Now, you are so glad that you didn't do that. Had you not gone to that stupid group meeting, you wouldn't have met the guy you're hoping will be around a lot more.
"Maybe tomorrow.. I can take you on a date." Tom mumbles against your skin.
"I'd love that." You smile.
The world either blesses us, or curses us. You have figured out which one you are. Blessed- and cursed. Life has its up, and it's has its downs. Who knew such an epic blessing could come from such a dark curse.