sex partners // louis

Chapter 12

I lay awake listening to the sound of his rhythmic breathing.

Johannah and my mum decided it was too late to drive home, so they'd stay the night. Louis was to sleep in my room, Lottie with Perrie, Niall on the couch, and the girls and Jo with my mum. "Have fun!" Lottie had said to me, winking
.

"Louis?" I whisper, checking to see if he is awake. "Yes, Ab?" Shit. I didn't think he was up. "Sorry, didn't mean to wake you." I apologize. "You're fine. What did you want?" he asks me. How can he be so nice to me when I just woke him up at two in the morning?

"Abby?" "Oh- sorry. What did you say?" He chuckles lightly. "What were you thinking about up there?" he asks me. "I was just wondering why you're being so nice to me, considering I just woke you up." "I wasn't sleeping in the first place. You weren't either, obviously." "I was being quiet because I thought you were asleep." I tell him.

I hear him getting up off his blankets on the floor, and next thing I know he's sitting next to me on my bed.

"So what's up?" he asks me. "Remember that time when your mum made us take dancing classes?" "Yes- ballroom dancing classes. It was probably the worst thing I've ever done." I laugh quietly. "You couldn't dance at all! You were terrible!" "Don't judge! Your math skills are terrible!" "Ugh, don't remind me." "The instructor asked how many steps we take in our six step routine, and you said eight!" he says, cracking up. "Hey! I was distracted." "By what?" "It doesn't matter." He looks at me. "What was it?" "I told you- it's not important." "Tell me." I sigh. "My dad."

Louis runs his hands up and down my arms, and sets his hands over my scars, covering them.

"You knew?" he asks me softly. "Yes." "Why didn't you tell me?" "I was too scared. I wasn't supposed to know. I heard them talking about it at night when I went for a glass of water." "They didn't tell you that your dad had cancer?" I shake my head. He pulls me into a hug. "Oh, Abby. I'm sorry." I can feel tears forming. "It's- it's not your fault, Lou." He is still holding me close to him, and I rest my head on his shoulder.

He must have heard me crying, because he pulls away from me and cups my face in his hands, wiping my tears away with his thumbs.

"It's okay. I promise." He tells me. I lay down on my back on my bed and close my eyes. I hear him lay down beside me, and before I know it his arm is around my waist.

"Ab?" "Yes, Louis?" "Did you ever miss me?" "You mean after you moved?" "Yeah." "I thought about your family sometimes." "How come we didn't get invited to your dad's funeral?" I swallow hard.

"Abby?" I ignore him.

I don't ever want to talk about dad's funeral. Ever.

"Abby?" "I don't want to talk about it." "Can you please just tell me?" I sigh. How can I say no?

"Fine." I feel his grip tighten on me and I smile a little. What if he really does like me?

"It was on November 21st. My dad had died a few weeks before. November 10th, to be exact. My mum cried a lot, and so did everyone else that showed up. I couldn't go in to the visitation. I didn't go to the burial, either. I was too in shock. I kept telling myself he was still alive. He was my only friend. I loved him more than anything.

"When it was all over, my grandma drove us all home. She stayed with us and watched me and Perrie. My mum hid in her room. I think we all refused to believe that he was actually gone.

"You guys got invited, but-"

"November 21st. The day Mark and my mum got married." I am still crying, and I think I hear him sniffle...

"You okay, Lou?" "Yes, love. I'm okay. I'm sorry for making you relive that day." I ignore the fact that he just called me 'love'.

"Actually, it felt kinda good to tell someone the story. I never have before." "Aw, now I feel special." he coos. I feel a sudden urge to go to the bathroom, so I say, "Lou, I've got to pee." He laughs, and peels his arm off me. "Have a nice wee." he says, still chuckling softly.

When I get into the bathroom I do my business, and wash my hands. I look at myself in the mirror. If he really does like me, does he think I'm pretty? Is he fine with me being fat? What if he is just joking?
I sit down on the lid of the toilet thinking about all of this.

I hear a soft knock on the door, and I am awoken from my thoughts.

"Abby?" I hear Louis. "I'm here." "You've been in there for a half an hour." Shit, has it really been that long? "Sorry. I got caught up in my thoughts." I say, opening the door.

I see him standing there, smiling at me. "Ready to sleep?" he asks me. "Yeah." He escorts me to my room, and once I am in my bed, he walks to the door. "I'll be back in a sec." he says. What is he doing now? Probably trying to escape while he can..

Before I know it he is walking back into the room. I see small yellow lights flickering in a jar he is holding in his hands. "Thought you might want some company." he says. "Louis, I don't need any company." "What? But-" "I have you, silly." He smiles at me, then sits down on my bed and kisses me.

"When I said I loved you I wasn't joking." he says to me very seriously.

It is all I can do to hug him and smile.