5. First Steps

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Killua opens his eyes, looking around the white landscape. Ah. This place.

The one thing he can never forget, is that there is nothing he can ever remember. This place reminds him how empty his memory is. With no memories to stimulate dreams, Killua's left with nothing. Just an endless landscape. Of nothing.

Occasionally something will pop up. Just barely out of Killua's grasp. Rarely, he catches it eventually. The things that recur are the ones he eventually has a chance of getting a hold of.

Out in the distance, Killua sees a figure of a person. A man. Or a boy? Killua can't tell. It seems to shift between a young boy and an adult man repetitively. His image is obscure.

Killua runs towards him. There's nothing else he can do. Maybe he'll reach him. Maybe he'll reach him and he'll uncover hidden memories so that he doesn't feel so alone in this place. The person starts fading away the closer Killua gets. He runs faster.

No. Don't leave me alone.

Killua reaches for him, fingers just barely touching him before the figure dissipates, exploding into black hummingbirds. Killua shields himself, covering his face. He saw it. He saw a glimpse. Of someone important to him. But who?

Killua turns around. There, he sees other figures, none of them are anyhting like the other man, though. Killua knows who these people are. Except for... no, that couldn't be Alluka. She's all grown up, in front of him with the rest of his family.

Killua sighs in relief. He's glad that he can never seem to forget his own family, at least. But it bothers him that he can't figure out who that other man was.

___________

It's been six months. Each passing day, the doctors lose a little bit of hope. They doubt Killua will ever wake up at this point, according to their tests and diagnostics. Even if he does, who knows how far reset his mind could be when he wakes after so long. His muscle memory is no doubt hopeless. He'll have to learn to walk, to keep his head up, how to eat. Based on their previous records of Killua's brain function, he may have to learn how to talk, even. If he wakes up, chances are he won't even know his own name.

Gon still hasn't left the hospital.

Mito's worried for him. His health is suffering, he hasn't seen the sun in over six months. He hasn't been eating properly. It's difficult enough to just get him out of the room for a short walk to get him some exercise. It's not just Mito, everyone's worried about him. The doctors, too.

But today is the final straw. Mito is getting her nephew out of that damn hospital. She has had enough of watching as his life is stalled by depression. He needs to live. He needs to continue being Gon.

When Gon takes his first step outside of the hospital in five months, it's like this wave of unreal relief. The sky is blue, just like Killua's eyes. The clouds are white and fluffy, like his hair. The fresh air is like Killua's smile, relieving all of the tension and heartache in Gon's soul. The birds chirping musically are his laugh, beautiful and soothing. The breeze his voice, soft and gentle. The sun is Killua himself, shining a light to guide Gon through life.

Gon smiles, seeing Killua all around him. In everything, Killua is there. He's at the playground, laughing with the children. He's at the candy shop, going broke for chocolates. He's running along the empty dirt roads, wind in his hair as he feels more alive than ever. He's tugging Gon along into the shallows on the coast, reminiscing the night they first said those three words to eachother. He's hanging photos on the walls of their new apartment, constant reminders of their time together so that Killua can wake up and remember.

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