gravity | r. suna ✓

thirteen

- Thursday, 8:48pm - 

The Spring Interhigh is approaching fast - the first day being next Monday, in 4 days - and everyone is on edge. We all needed a way to relieve stress and mentally prepare ourselves, regain energy and bond so that we can perform to the best of our abilities at the tournament. Our captains met and come up with the idea of going to the Spring Carnival as a collective, and everyone agreed that this was a great proposition. 

This year, the Spring Carnival is on a giant field located 30 minutes train ride away from the train station near where I live. Osamu, Atsumu, Inari, and Suna, who all catch the train at the same stop as me, meet me at the station and we buy our tickets while waiting for the train to come.

When we arrive at the carnival, the rest of the team had already arrived, having caught the bus instead of the train. We buy candyfloss and a hot dog for those who didn't eat dinner with their families. We make jokes and laugh and sit down to eat, talking about our hopes for volleyball and everyone's plans for when they graduate school.

After everyone's eaten and the conversation dies a little, Emi suggests we all ride the Ferris wheel as one big group. "It's two to a carriage," she says, "so everyone pair up and get in line!"

I think about asking Inari, but she's already going with Osamu. She winks at me, her eyebrows wiggling on her face. She's had a crush on Osamu for ages, and he's just recently taken a liking to her.

I give her a thumbs up and mouth, "good for you!"

That only creates a problem for me, though. 

"Ayano, wanna ride the wheel with me?" Atsumu offers, smirking. "You know you want to."

Normally I would say yes without hesitation, but I can see Suna, standing a little away, staring at me with narrowed eyes that say without words, "we should go together."

I hate making decisions that could offend people, so I just wince at Suna and go with Atsumu. I only chose him because I thought that everyone would talk if I went with someone who didn't even ask out loud instead of someone who did.

He seems to understand, and he goes to stand beside Ginjima Hitoshi, the 2nd year wing spiker who I didn't know by name two weeks ago. They take their place in the line right behind us. I look over my shoulder and tell him, with my eyes, that I'm sorry. He nods and looks away, his hands in his pockets.

A sigh escapes my open mouth, showing up like smoke in the air in front of me. Atsumu looks at me with concern, but doesn't question me. I'm a little disappointed I couldn't go with Suna, to repay him for what happened at the boys vs girls match. It seems like a little thing, but to me, it was everything. It was freedom.

In what feels like an hour out here in the cold, we reach the front of the line. We give our tickets to the ticket master and he directs us into our carriage. If Atsumu and I were strangers, this would feel awkward, but he's been one of my best friends for years, so I feel completely comfortable with him.

The Ferris wheel rotates and I watch Suna get on. Atsumu gives me a look I can't read and looks like he might say something, but he doesn't seem to be able to find the words for it.

As our carriage climbs in height, I start to feel more and more afraid. I can't help but look down and imagine myself falling from such a height.

I don't know why I thought it'd be a good idea to go on the Ferris wheel when I'm afraid of heights.

We're nearing the top of the wheel, and I start to panic. Without thinking, I cling to Atsumu, who wraps his arm around my shoulder and pulls me into him to comfort me. He knows I'm terrified of heights because when I was a child he made me climb a tree, and I burst into tears when I saw how far up I was.