Miss Chubby

CHAPTER 62

The snake stops moving and just stares at me like it is devouring me with its eyes. I look around the table and I see the king having a satisfied look on his face. He is rejoicing in this. His first and third wives are smiling. They seem to be happy. Kuhle’s mom clears the throat and stands up. She comes to me and I step back, not wanting her to get any closer. What if she wants to feed me to the snake? She quickens her pace and then grabs my hands. I shake my head while tears are falling down my cheeks.

MaDlomo: “please calm down.”
Me: “no. no. you want me to feed you to your snake.” She laughs.
MaDlomo: “Lela would probably bury me alive if I as much as harm a single strand of hair on your head. Now describe the snake to and tell me where it is.” It still is sitting on the table.

Me: “it’s a Jameson’s mamba. It is green and it is sitting in front of Sbo.” Sbo was sitting opposite me. He jumps up and then looks at it. Other people also jump up as if they are now seeing it.

MaDlomo: “that is our ancestral snake. It doesn’t live in the palace or around here. It only shows itself when a wife chosen by the ancestors enters the palace.” I swallow hard. MaShezi also stands up and come to where I am at.

MaShezi: “calm down sisi. It means you are chosen and favored by the ancestors. You are Nkosana’s chosen one.” She hugs me. I start hyperventilating and my body shakes vigorously. My fear doesn’t wash off until I have calmed down or been hypnotized.

Lee: “FUTHY SNAP OUT OF IT MAN!” she is already next to me and shaking me. I feel my body going down and it’s light out.
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***KUHLE***
I rush to her and pick her up. I walk with her to the lounge and place her carefully on the couch. I then remove her shoes. The others come to the lounge soon after and start crowding her.

Me: “can we please give her some space to breathe?” they all sit down. I look at Lee and Noma who both look angry. “Can you tell me what just happened?”

Noma: “no. you tell us what just happened. Futhy has this huge phobia of snakes. It’s real and she is really scared of them. When she sees them sometimes her heart stops or beats very fast. After the math she starts being paranoid and hallucinates or even have nightmares. You should’ve warned her about your creepy ancestral snake.”

Lee: “if he did, she probably wouldn’t have come here in the first place.”
Me: “well I didn’t know she was my chosen one. I just went for her because I love her.”
Thobeka: “is she going to be okay though?” she asks looking at Noma and Lee.

Lee: “it will take maybe a week for things to go back to normal. Just know you will have to do some major convincing for her to come back here.” her phone rings. She looks at it and curses under her breath.
Noma: “what is it?” Lee shows her something on the phone and Noma also curses in a low tone.
Me: “what is going on?”

Lee: “baba is asking where we are. We always spend Christmas Day at Morningside.”
MaShezi: “you can’t leave while she hasn’t woken up.” Noma opens her phone and starts tapping on it. She then hands the phone to my father.

Noma: “you have to call him and tell him what exactly happened because if I am the one to call, he’d probably think we are just hung-over somewhere and then he will punish us.” dad takes the phone, tap it and then places it on his ear. He steps far away from us and starts talking. After a while he comes back and hands Noma the phone.

King: “he says he is going to overcharge you lobola for this incident and I know he is not joking.” He sits down on his single couch. “Tell me about this phobia of hers. How intense is it and where did it start?”

Lele: “before I start talking, can the kids leave? This is rather a sensitive topic.” They leave and the only people left are my father, his wives, Sbo, Nompilo, Lee, Noma, the guards, Danny and others.
Me: “we are all ears.”