Miss Chubby

CHAPTER 80

Today we are fetching umkhonto from the palace. It’s Sunday morning. I am glad that the doctor gave me a green light on my leg and arm and she also took the casts off. My injuries have somehow recovered even though I have scratches here and there.

I met up with Zamoh’s mom and Mpumi a week ago. I made an agreement with them. Since Zamoh was earning R15000, I planned to give them R7500 each for at least 10 years. KaMakhoba was happy about the arrangement and also Mpumi. But with Mpumi we agreed that I will give her R2000 for now and then add R3000 after the baby is born. I will be putting R2500 in a trust fund for the baby’s education.

Some people said I was the one who bewitched Sthabile into killing herself because she wasn’t the person who could just harm herself. I laughed the accusations off because they were just crazy. Sthandiwe and Donna have gone crazy thinking that someone is going to come after them since they are the ones who are left. It’s amusing really but life must go on.

I vomit for the second time this morning. I really hate morning sicknesses. They started a week ago. I wanted to go to a doctor who will help me with something to cool them down but I never had the time. Anyways I wash my mouth and head back to my room. I put on my lipstick and head to the lounge.

My friends and the maidens are all wearing beaded skirts, sports bras with ubuhlalo and beaded tommy takkies. I am wearing a black beaded skirt, white vest with ubuhlalo and izimbadada. I also have a white shawl covering my shoulders. My friends are wearing blue skirts while the maidens are wearing red skirts.

Mom: “go well and come back with the meat.” We all laugh. I hug my parents and then we head outside. The ladies are already singing. This time around we are going with one kombi for the maidens. My friends are riding in my Forturner while I am riding my X1. Of course Thobeka and Mabutho are with me. Mabutho is the one driving. We climb inside the cars and drive off.
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After three hours of driving we arrive at the palace. We climb off the cars and head inside the yard while singing. We are led into this huge rondavel which is beautiful on the inside and on the outside. There are grass mats on the floor. The maidens make themselves comfortable on the mats. Well my doctor might have given me the green light but I don’t think I should sit on the floor just like that.

After a few moments Nompilo gets in with Amahle. She is carrying a fluffy rug. She places it nicely on the floor and indicates that I sit down. I giggle and then sit. My friends also sit. Amahle comes and hugs me. She then makes herself comfortable on my lap.

Amahle: “how are you mama?” I frown.
Me: “mama?”
Amahle: “you are daddy’s wife, which makes you my mother.” I decide to ask no further questions.

Me: “I am fine baby. How are you?”
Amahle: “fine. I just missed you.” I haven’t seen them in two weeks because they were in Sthabile’s home.
Me: “I missed you too baby.”

Amahle: “so daddy, Zweli and I are going with you when you head back home?”
Me: “no baby. But don’t worry. You will see me on Saturday and then we will go swim at my house.”
Amahle: “yay!” she kisses my cheek and I giggle.
Nompilo: “Mahle let’s go.”

Amahle: “later aunty. Still bonding with mama.” Nompilo laughs and heads out. The maidens start singing and dancing like there is no tomorrow. Amahle also joins them but when she is tired, she comes back to my lap.

The elders together with Kuhle and his brothers come and do what needs to be done. He then hands me umkhonto. I take it. He winks at me and I just blush. He and his father have this wink that make women go weak. When they are done, they head out with Amahle this time around because the girl is daddy’s angel. Moments later maids come and serve us food.

Well there is this Zulu tradition that says at your in-laws home, you shouldn’t eat food that was given to you directly because anything can happen. Also you mustn’t trust anyone when it comes to the food. So when the maids serve me my plate, I just wait for them to leave and then I trade it with one of the maidens.

When we are done eating, they serve us the drinks. The ladies go crazy when they see the alcohol and they start singing and dancing loudly. I am already feeling drowsy. I just wanna take a short midday nap. Anyways they come and put iziphandla in our wrists from the goats they slaughtered for the ceremony. I think that’s the end of everything.

Indeed the ceremony has come to an end, so the ladies take the drinks and the meat they are given and they start singing. I take umkhonto and head out of the hut with them following me. We head out of the palace yard and climb inside the cars. Kuhle comes to the car and pulls me to stand up. He then hugs me. I yawn.

Kuhle: “I am sorry baby but you are going to get some rest in the car now.”
Me: “yah. At least. So mom told me to ask how many people will be coming on Saturday.” He laughs.
Kuhle: “the whole Zulu nation. Roughly 300+ also my business associates and friends.”

Me: “wow. How many people are actually going to come to the traditional wedding?” he laughs again.
Kuhle: “a lot. Downside of being a prince. Everyone want to witness the wedding. Not just on social media but live.”
Me: “will the number be controlled on the white wedding?” he chuckles.

Kuhle: “yes. It will only be family, friends and some business associates.” I breathe out loud.
Me: “that’s better. I don’t think I am going to survive not seeing you for a week.” I start getting emotional. He kisses me.

Kuhle: “hold on baby. Just a few weeks and after that we will be together forever.” We hug tight and then he kisses me again. “I love you.”
Me: “I love you.” I climb inside the car and we drive off.
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The week has been dragging and I have been an emotional wreck because I miss Kuhle so much. My friends sometimes laugh at me. They say I am dramatic but they will understand one day. It’s Friday night and people are going up and down like it’s the wedding day. Mom nearly fainted when I told her the number of people coming tomorrow.

I just told Dakota and Londeka to hire a catering company because there was no way I could slave my relatives like that. Three cows were slaughtered just for umkhehlo. Yoh bahlali. When they tell you to marry a prince, run, it’s a trap.

Anyways the ladies are singing loudly and dancing like nobody’s business. My friends are already drunk. In fact every female in my room is drunk. The furniture was cleared out and we are seating on grass mats and sponges. We have ibomvu in our faces which we are supposed to go wash in the morning at the river but we will go to the beach because it’s much easier there. My phone rings and I smile when I see who is calling.

Me: “Sthuli skandaba.”
Kuhle: “KaMagaye.” I blush. “How are you this evening?”
Me: “I am fine. I just can’t wait to see you.”

Kuhle: “me too my love. I am literally counting the hours. Amahle also can’t wait. She has been pestering me. I am just glad she has finally dozed off.” I chuckle.
Me: “is everything set on that side?”

Kuhle: “yes. We are just going to wake up and prepare to come there.”
Me: “how much are you going to gift me tomorrow?”
Kuhle: “how about a million?” I laugh.

Me: “that’s too much baby and how are you going to pin a million on a blanket or an umbrella?” the ladies scream when they hear the word million.
Kuhle: “just kidding. I won’t mention it.” I chuckle.
Me: “that’s better. Sleep tight and be still and know that I love you.”

Kuhle: “yaz for a moment there I thought you were going to break into a gospel song and be like ‘be still and know that I am your God’.” I burst out laughing. Kuhle has a soothing voice but when it comes to singing, Jehovah I would pay him all my millions just to shut him up because he is terrible.

Me: “baby please leave the singing to us, the gifted.”
Kuhle: “mxm. Anyways I love you my baby mama and I can’t wait to see you tomorrow. Sleep well and take care of our babies.”
Me: “I love you more and also take care of our babies.” I hang up.
Zah: “young love.” she says while blushing and we all laugh at her.
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#MissChubby