Miss Chubby

CHAPTER 86

While I am packing my stuff, my phone rings. I smile when I see that it’s my husband that is calling. Yep, my husband. Kuhle is my husband. I am never going to get used to it. I am so lucky to be blessed by such an amazing person. I answer the phone with a wide smile on my face.

Me: “Myeni wami.” He chuckles.
Kuhle: “mkami ukahle?” I smile.
Me: “kakhulu Ndabezitha.”

Kuhle: “look we have been trying to get hold of your father. His phone is sending us straight to voicemail. Could you please give him the phone?”
Me: “ohh okay. Is everything okay?”
Kuhle: “it will be after i speak to him.”

Me: “okay, please hold.” I rush to his bedroom where I find him massaging his wife’s feet. “This is so cute but daddy Kuhle wants to speak to you.”
Dad: “did he try calling my phone?” I roll my eyes.
Me: “where is your phone?”
Mom: “it’s charging in Lele’s room Ndosi.”

Dad: “ohh, give me the phone.” I hand him the phone and go sit on the couch. “And now?”
Me: “hawu I am waiting for my phone, also that’s my husband so I should know what you are discussing.”
Dad: “yoh savelelwa u husband.” He stands up and goes to the bathroom leaving me and mom laughing.

Me: “your husband is dramatic.”
Mom: “tell me about it.” We talk about meaningless things until dad comes out of the bathroom.
Dad: “you need to get everything ready. The Zulus will be here within 2 hours. They haven’t left Mhlanga. They are saying they can’t go back empty handed. They must go back with their bride.”

Me: “oww okay.” I take my phone and head back to my room where I find my friends drinking wine. “Sober up bahlali. We are leaving within two hours. Please pack up everything.”
Lee: “I thought we still had enough time.”

Me: “apparently we don’t. After you are done packing, go and cook for the in-laws because that’s your duty.”
Noma: “MAKOTI WOYINYAKAZISA UMA ILELE, WOYINYAKAZISA!” she starts singing and I just laugh.
Me: “well I don’t need to shake it because it always gets ready when it sees me.”

Zah: “chips wena.” We all laugh.
Xoli: “what songs do we sing vele?”
Me: “I will sing, ‘KUKHULU MINA ENGAKUBONA!” they respond.

Them: “KULEZIYANTABA!”
Me: “KWANONGOMA! ENYOKENI!”
Them: “KULEZIYANTABA!”
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We are now at the royal guest lodge which is a few minutes away from the palace. We arrived here around 2 am and now the time is 6 am. We quickly shower, pack our things and head to the palace. We wait outside the yard, while inside our cars. I exchange the blanket over my shoulders with Lee because she is a size 38, so no one will notice much.

My bridesmaids and the maidens go to the gate while I sit in the car with my parents and Xoli. I couldn’t walk around the yard unnoticed because the yard is full of guards also it is so huge. Sbo and Mkhululi are the ones carrying the kist. They open the gate for them and they enter while they are singing ihubo lakwa Cele. They circle the yard and then come back outside with Phumudzo.

Lee gives me the blanket and I cover myself with it. He then leads us to esihlahleni where we settle down and sit on grass mats. The wind is not too cold. It’s just warm. My family goes inside beyokhuleka in groups. They then come out and chill under the tree. Maids bring us food with tea, coffee, inyama yogqoko and alcohol.

I am not really in the mood for anything that is in front of me. I just want a simple creamy samp with beef curry. Mom stops eating and looks at me inquisitively.
Mom: “why are you not eating?”
Me: “I am not hungry right now. When I feel like eating, don’t worry I will tell you.” I then lie down and cover myself with the blanket.
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I am woken up by someone shaking me. Yoh mom loves shaking me yeva? Anyways I wake up and look around. The sun is already up and people are busy getting dressed. I guess the time to go to esigcawini is nearing. I also stand up. Mom helps me get dressed in isidwaba, ubuhlalo and izimbadada. I put on a black beaded bra.