briar roses (and hundred years of sleep)

Chapter 3

Author: vannral on ao3
Summary: In which the stakes get higher.

Everything boils. In his skin, inside his bloodstream, it's a raging inferno, burning him inside out, and that stupid goddamn list  -

'You really don't care?'

'You're supposed to be his friend'.

'You mean so much to him, but you don't even care.'

That's none of your damn business! You don't know a damn thing about us, you've got no right to spout that shit in my face!

Katsuki stalks through the park, grinding his molars together so hard it hurts in his temples, but he doesn't give a shit, he doesn't care about that stupid list, he doesn't give a shit -

It gives him a pause.

He -

He releases an exhale.

The dumbass just has to wake up. How hard can that be?

Somehow in a haze, he wanders back to the hospital.

Rises up the stairs, passes some nurses in the ward, steps into Izuku's room.

He doesn't get used to it. No matter how many times he goes through this damn door and sees Deku lying there, it still gnaws something deep in his skin, pulls something in his chest.

The smell, the quiet.

Just open your fuckin' eyes already.

C'mon. Tell me about some bullshit trivia you know.

Tell me about what Quirk you've last put in that dorky notebook.

Tell me about the newest All Might merch you've got your nerdy paws on.

Just -

Katsuki sits on the uncomfortable plastic chair where Auntie Inko usually sits. Leans on his knees. Stares at Izuku's profile; the pallid skin, the thin nose, freckles across his cheeks.

     "What a shitty timing you picked, huh, nerd," he grunts. "Can't believe you. You'd be havin' a goddamn field day with that asshole's Quirk, so wake the hell up and start analyzing the shit out of it like you want to."

(beep-beep-beep)

Katsuki snorts, humourlessly.

Yeah, didn't think so.

He buries his fingers in his hair.

     "Who the hell is it, anyway? Sensei's right, you're so fucking far from quiet, you never shut your trap about the important stuff, so what the hell, who is this mystery bastard suddenly showin' up?"

This asshole who suddenly is somehow the love of Izuku's life? Straight from the left field, no warnings, no fuckin' nothing?

What the hell you kept this shit all hidden - you should've just confessed to them and been fuckin' done with it - we wouldn't be in this mess.

You wouldn't be in this mess.

You -

Katsuki's traitorous mind conjures this person up; a faceless figure making the nerd happy.

You would be up already.

It grates between Katsuki's ribs, this hollow sort of ache that eats away at him, erodes deeper into the very core of him, and Katsuki hates it, hates, wants to rip it loose and off and burn it -