briar roses (and hundred years of sleep)

Chapter 4

Author: vannral on ao3
Summary: In which lot of feelings happen and it's less than pretty.

Kacchan...?

Kacchan...?

Kacchan...?

It thunders in Katsuki's ears. Pounds with each beat of his heart. It gets louder, louder and louder, note by note, until it's all Katsuki can hear, rattling in his ears, in his chest, and he can't escape it.

He can just see those goddamn eyes, bright and leaf green, sleepy in the dim lights of his room, and Katsuki's mouth goes dry again.

It's too much. It's all tangled and buzzing in his head, white white noise.

Deku's awake.

That's the only focus point in this that his brain can grasp with crystal clarity, Deku is awake, he's alive, and he's okay -

And Katsuki so fuckin' called it, the little bastard smiles all shy and soft up at him, at Katsuki,even though he has no idea what's going on, even though he's confused and lethargic, he's still smiling that goddamn smile -

And Katsuki can't even handle it. He freezes.

Recovery Girl rushes into the room full of professional determination, her staff clacking against the floor, and Katsuki -

- Katsuki leaves.

Numb, his mind blank.

Deku's awake.

'Cause Katsuki kissed him.

Deku's awake, 'cause Katsuki kissed him.

Does that - does that mean he's - ?

     "Fuck, fuck, fuck - " he curses, burying his trembling fingers into his hair and pulls in frustration, furious tears stinging his eyes. "Goddamn fuckin' Quirk - !"

What does it mean?

Was there even a 'True Love', anyway?

Was it all a coincidence? A cruel trick of fate? Katsuki starts to tremble. There's no way that happened because of him. There's no fucking way Katsuki is the one who woke him up.

Gotta be a mistake. A fluke.

Different explanations run through his foggy mind. Someone kissed Deku before and what the hell, a delayed reaction, that's it, or - or the Quirk's influence just stopped, maybe the Villain dropped dead or something -

Literally anything else than what just happened.

It doesn't make any fuckin' sense. It shouldn't and it doesn't, and the nerd smiled at him like he was happy -

How the hell can he just smile at Katsuki?

All crinkled at the corners, softly curved edges, just smiling like -

- like Katsuki somehow deserves any of it.

His head starts to spin.

What the hell is he supposed to do now? Recovery Girl's handling all the medical crap back at the hospital, Deku is in good hands and he's awake and alive, so Katsuki doesn't have to worry about that anymore, but now what?

Return to U.A? Pretend none of this shit ever happened?

That he didn't kiss Deku, 'cause that's what he fuckin' did, that he -